AIBU- not invited to SIL's hen party

[Killeen88]

Hi,
I just wanted to get others views on this.

Today whilst at my MIL's house, I happened to glance at her calendar and saw she had written down the date that my SIL's hen do is taking place. Not wanting to cause a scene or be awkward, I didn't say anything.
I casually asked my husband last night if his sister was having a hen party or not, to which he answered that he wasn't sure.... I left it at that!
My husband had been invited to his sisters Husband to be's stag do, which is a long weekend abroad.
I've not even heard a whisper regarding my SIL's hen do, let alone been invited.
I've been with my husband for 10 years and have always tried to make an effort with all his family and like to think of myself "liked" by them.
She is obviously having a hen party and usually my MIL tells me everything and more that she's not meant too... So the fact she's not even mentioned it, makes me think I'm not invited on purpose and she's trying to keep it quiet. :(

I have to admit, I'm quite upset that I haven't been invited, but I don't want to bring attention to it or cause any problems, so I won't say anything.
Am I right to be upset that I've been left out or am I being daft?
Thanks in advance

Also the hen do is in May, so a long weekend away hen do, will have to have already booked from my experience of are aging friends hendos! 😞

OP if you invited her to your hen do, she's totally out of order.

At the very least she should have spoken to you to say, Look SIL, my hen will be small with just a few close friends, so thanks for having invited me to yours but this is a more intimate affair. Sorted.

Although if she has invited MIL it's is obviously not night on the piss with your mates, is it?

My hen do was a nice afternoon with my close friends. I didn't invite any of my family, or inlaws. It's their wedding and her hen do, so the best thing is to smile and not say anything.

Well if you are considered a lower rating relative they can have a lower rate gift can't they? Leave it to dh to sort one.
And wear a pouffe white dress to the wedding....

@Killeen88 I'm sorry I missed your latest post. I can see why you would be upset.

If it's any consolation my SIL and BIL only had close family in their wedding photos - which didn't include me. At our wedding they were all included in the photos. I was upset, but I didn't say anything as it wouldn't do any good.

Ignore everyone trying to make this into a big deal op, and urging you to do petty shit in retaliation. If it’s a weekend away rather than a night out, then numbers might be limited. I get that the secrecy is hurtful but maybe it’s just discretion? Would being sat down and told ‘it’s on x date but you’re not actually invited sorry’ be any less hurtful or mortifying?

She is a dick and its not okay. She should invite you.

Its hurtful but at least now you know where you stand.
All the effort and investment you put into small kindnesses, finding them nice gifts etc. STOP.
Its not reciprocated, let your DH deal with cards, presents, meet ups

I didn't go to my SIL's hen party. Tbh, I don't even know if she had one. It didn't even occur to me to be bothered... she's perfectly pleasant but I have no desire to socialise with her.

You keep referencing how close you are to the family and MIL but how close are you to the bride? Do you go shopping together, drink wine together. Would you call her to ask for advice on sensitive issues?
I would imagine the answer is no. Just because you are married into the family does not give you an entitlement. This is her special weekend and she has chosen to spend it with people she is close too. If you were as close to the family as you say you would not have any problem in having a discussion about it. They must be aware you know and probably thinking you are also being rude but totally showing a lack of interest

Can you ask your MIL about it? Just casually ask how the hen planning is going, no need to bring up invitations or anything like that. See how she reacts, that should give you an indication as to whether you've been deliberately excluded or not.

I also think it's perfectly normal to expect an invite to something like this, given you are married into the family, and you invited her to yours. She could at the very least let you know if hers is just a friends-only hen.