9 month old?

[WeddingThrowaway]

I’m getting married in the summer. My bridesmaids child will be 9 months old. She wasn’t sure if she was going to bring her at first, more so leaning on not. I’ve always said she was welcome. Anyway, they’ve returned the rsvp and added her name, not a problem. But she’s asked for her to to have the child’s menu option. We’ve discussed this previously where I mentioned I thought it would excessive as it’s basically pizza or sausage and chips. I love her and the baby but it just seems so wasteful and honestly I don’t really want to pay £15 for him to gum a mouthful of pizza and that’s it.
I don’t have children so I feel I can’t say anything to her but would I be out of order to say something? I lost my job at the end of last year and have been struggling to find a new one so even £15 is a cost we could do with saving. Obviously if I get my arse handed to me in here I’ll keep quiet and learn a lesson lol.

If it were me I’d just pay it (in fact I did something similar). Yes it’s silly money for a 9 month old, but I’m guessing as a proportion of total cost it’s not massive.

You could ask the venue if they can do a baby meal as opposed to a child’s meal though. They might be willing to do something pretty basic for less?

I would pay it even though I agree its a waste.

At my friend's wedding a few months back a number of guests had babies under 1, including two of us who were bridesmaids and the groom's sister. There was no mention of a children's menu at all, no one expected one. I just fed my 10 month old from my plate, as did the other parents. Tbh I think it'd be wasteful to provide a whole separate meal for a baby that age.

As someone with a baby just over 1, I would say either pay it (surely your wedding is costing a fair bit and you could maybe make a saving on drinks if you really need to), or explain the child menu options are more for older children and can she bring baby food (pouches don’t take up any space at all). I would never feed a 9-month-old pizza or anything from my plate- the sugar, the salt etc. are just too unhealthy for a baby!

I wouldn't have given my children pizza, chips or sausage either at that stage.

I took my older daughter to a wedding when she was 10 months and it's over 20 years ago now so can't remember now what she ate but am pretty sure that I'd probably have taken some fruit and raw veg with me, and I was still breastfeeding her. I might also have given her a few bits from my plate, if anything was suitable.

I'd tell your friend that the food won't be suitable for her daughter and suggest that she takes some bits and pieces with her.

Pizza and sausages for a 9 month old??? I have a 9 month old and wouldn’t ever feed that! Surely the mother should bring either pouch food, snacks, and also give her baby bits of food off her plate eg any vegetables/potatoes/fruit etc.

The children’s food options aren’t really baby appropriate anyway, I have a 9 month old and she wouldn’t do very well with that food; it would just end up being thrown on the floor.

In your position I would probably tell your friend what the children’s options are and ask whether she wants her to have that or if she would prefer to bring some baby food with her. If she still wants the menu option then I don’t think it’s worth arguing with her over £15. Although I do agree it’s wasteful.

Ask the venue if they have a baby menu. 100% if they do great. If not explain to bridesmaid that when speaking to the venue they said the food was not appropriate for under 2s due to mass productions salt etc. Say that you are happy to cover the cost of the baby food for the day.
As your bridesmaid you should be able to have this conversation if not she shouldn’t be your bridesmaid.
I am sure that she will decline the offer to pay.
I think the real issue here is she is probably more concerned about having to carry around the food herself. So I would focus more energy on facilitating this. Would it need to be in a fridge? How would it get to the main room? She is the bridesmaid so does not want to be carrying this around with her.

Are you sure it’s even going to go ahead?

just tell her no baby menu, and pizza isnt suitable for a baby.
some ppl r really demanding, i'd be embarrassed to ask...

when in the summer.
are you sure it will be able to go ahead.
what have the venue/ caterers said.
guess it depends how long the govt restrictions last.
maybe this is what is really worrying you, but your subconscious mind is taking refuge in a lesser conundrum ?
good luck.