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Original poster

Best decision and biggest regret?

39 replies

jshailes · 15/02/2020 23:05

Hi all. My fiance and I have just set a date for 8 weeks time so we've got a busy few weeks ahead! I was wondering if I could ask about your wedding days, and in particular what your favourite decisions were (and maybe the ones you would change if you did it again) to help us plan the big day. TIA

OP posts:

tabbycat985 · 15/02/2020 23:32

Ohh congratulations OP!
Best decision we made was to invest in a good photographer who is going to give you quality photographs & a band who were a bit of fun & really made the evening into a party!

Worst decision was not removing a guest who got a bit out of hand. I should have just put my bridezilla pants on & stamped my foot rather than ignoring him & still being peeved about it years later😂

Just make sure you're not compromising anything that you'll regret, eg, you want peonies but bridesmaid thinks they're ugly, it's YOUR day!!
Enjoy your planning😀

GreenTulips · 15/02/2020 23:35

Not be influenced by others - gave them a weeks notice.

Original poster

jshailes · 15/02/2020 23:45

Thanks @tabbycat985 :)

You mention about the band being fun and making it a party - that's definitely a concern. We'd talked about getting a DJ but dreading an empty dance floor! What did the band do in particular that got it going - did they talk to/encourage the guests to get up?

OP posts:

Thesispieces · 15/02/2020 23:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LoisLittsLover · 16/02/2020 00:01

Worst : feeling that I had to have adult bridesmaids and choosing someone just for the sake of having someone. She wasn't supportive during the process, and we don't talk now so it's weird she's in so many photos etc

SnuffleBadger · 16/02/2020 00:11

Best: 1) Booking a fantastic band for the reception, they made the party! 2) Not bothering with wedding favours. Unnecessary expense and we actually got a lot of positive comments about it. 3) getting hairdresser and make-up to come to me on the morning. Way more relaxed than running all over town to get hair and make-up done.

Worst: 1) not managing to eat any if the evening buffet or wedding cake, I was starving by the time I went to bed and never got to taste the cake we spent time choosing. 2) getting way too hung up on the tiny details on the lead up. Gave myself far more stress than needed and neither me or the guests noticed the things I agonised for hours over when the day arrived. 3) Letting the whole thing impact on my relationship with my mum. We are super close but wedding madness made us speak to each other in a way we had never done before or since.

emilybrontescorsett · 16/02/2020 08:17

Best; marrying abroad
Worst; would have married slightly earlier so the celebrations lasted longer.

AnotherEmma · 16/02/2020 08:23

Best decision: photographer, she took wonderful photos and was very friendly and engaging with all our guests.

Biggest regret: not doing a luxury honeymoon. We felt as if we shouldn't spend too much money after an expensive wedding but in hindsight we should have treated ourselves. Our honeymoon was ok but not amazing.

StellaDelMare · 16/02/2020 08:25

We did it abroad and that was a great decision for us as we only wanted our closest friends and family there.

Afterwards, I didn't regret anything but thought the wedding car wasn't really needed..who even sees it really? But when we got our photos back it really added to them and I was so glad we got it (we had a vintage open top black beetle).
My biggest regret was probably my hen. I tried to bring together lots of groups and although they got on, the hen wasn't for everyone (night out) and when I saw people not enjoying themselves it dampened it for me. I'd have done different events with different groups of people.

Things I am glad about: only having two bridesmaids, having a photographer and videographer...those are the memories we have to last us a lifetime now!

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 16/02/2020 08:28

Best, having the small wedding I wanted (15 guests in all)
Worst, not having a 'reception' after to celebrate, we chose to go out for dinner with the guests, but I have a huge, relatively close knit family and really wish we'd thrown a party to celebrate with them all.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/02/2020 08:28

Like you, I did it all in about 8 weeks. Congratulations OP!

Like others have said my best was a really, really good photographer. My DH is a photographer so he got one of his photographer friends to do it for us. We were lucky as most good photographers are booked up well in advance but his friend managed to fit us in between jobs.

Biggest regret was not having a proper Honeymoon.

Apart from that it all went rather well on the day.

MrsL2016 · 16/02/2020 08:31

Best: having a small guest list for the day time. 30 people. Had to stand our ground with the in laws about it and glad I did. I wasn't paying £75 a head for family I barely see to have a reunion. They came to the evening party and barely acknowledged me. Didn't matter by that point though because I was having a great time.
Regret: being to busy dancing to have any of my wedding cake. It all went and I didn't get to try it.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/02/2020 08:35

Best decision... Spending money on the food on drink rather than decoration. No one cares if you have chair covers, favours or massive floral arrangements. They do notice nice wine, a good feed, and a good time.

Worst decision... No regrets really, but in hindsight maybe Gon for something a lot smaller and had more money a few years later for house deposit (although we were nearly ready to buy with one company days before they went bust, so long term that might have been a good thing!)

With music... A good DJ over a bad band. Our DJ had a full dance floor all night. A relative recently had a band not show up.

SallyLovesCheese · 16/02/2020 09:07

Best decisions:

having a guitarist, fiddler and singer to provide some ceilidh music and calling - even self-proclaimed non-dancers were up on their feet!
Not having a wedding cake as such, but asked guests to bring a small cake if they wanted. We ended up with about 8 different cakes for people to choose from, including GF and vegan!
Not having a seating plan. Very relaxed feel to the day!
Like a pp, having a wedding car, even though I originally didn't want one. I got a good deal and I'm glad because my dad and I got to arrive in style and the photos look lovely.

Regrets:

Not getting a photo of said wedding cakes!
Not having background music during the wedding breakfast (forgot my USB stick!)
Not being prepared enough to have a proper speech and giving out gifts at the reception.

BoomyBooms · 16/02/2020 09:09

Congratulations!!

Best decision: videographer, wedding film captures everything we loved and everything we missed (you can't be everywhere at once!).

Worst decision: spending so much on the dress, there are lovely cheaper ones and now my dress is just boxed away in the attic.

Sally872 · 16/02/2020 09:18

Our photographer suggested having wedding at 1pm rather than 2pm (traditional time here) he said you will be glad if the extra hour and I was. He also said he would have photos done within an hour (20 mins at church, 20 mins wedding party at a park, 20 mins wider groups at reception). I have heard of weddings where the photographer believed "his art" was the most important point of the day. It is a balancing act, you want a nice record but not taking up too much of your day.

I wish I hadn't spent so much on a dress, I went shopping 5 times and by the end I was fed up and had to get one so picked one. It is nice but with hindsight the reason I didnt like any was because I wasnt enjoying spending that amount of money on it (even though my parents were buying). I thought it had to be from a dress shop (young), I should have considered Monsoon etc. Even if it just convinced me it was worth opting more.

We had reception at a hotel and it was nice seeing many guests again at breakfast.

emilybrontescorsett · 16/02/2020 09:21

Dd arranged my ist hen do and it was fantastic.
Won't reveal too much but she took a small group of us abroad and it was THE most amazing thing ever. She arranged everything and as only very close friends /relatives came it was tailored to what I love 100%.
Another friend organised a second hen do which was more suitable for the people who didn't come abroad.

TheReef · 16/02/2020 09:25

Best decision - not to tell anyone

Worst decision - no one knows the longer it goes on the less inclined I am to tell anyone

00100001 · 16/02/2020 09:29

Best:
Keeping it to immediate family and one best friend each for witness. 16 people in total.
'reception' was in a small side room with the set menu in small restaurant. Made it easier, people ordered what they wanted. No need to pre-book/choose menus
People could drink whatever they wanted

No wedding cake - didn't see the point.

Worst: hmmmm.... No regrets

MrsBobDylan · 16/02/2020 09:34

Best: marrying my dh, 14 years on and not a day goes by that I don't think 'thank Christ I married him'.

Worst: the reception. It was a perfectly well planned, amicable affair but I still can't fathom why I needed any friends/extended family there at all. I wish we'd avoided all the hoopla and just gone straight on honeymoon after the church service (which was perfect). At a push I might have offered church guests a cup of tea and custard cream in the hall afterwards!

MrsBobDylan · 16/02/2020 09:36

Basically, I would have done it in the way the point did. Sounds spot on.

Iwantcollarbones · 16/02/2020 09:37

Best decisions: keeping it small which meant we didn’t have to borrow money we didn’t start married life in debt. Having it quite late (4pm) so we didn’t have to entertain all day and we had plenty of time to get ready.

Regrets: should have had a honeymoon.

HelpMeDrRanj · 16/02/2020 09:42

Congratulations!!

Best: having a low budget wedding and saving money for an amazing honeymoon. Having hair & makeup artist come to my house so I was stress free

Worst: over worrying about tiny details, guests didn't notice and the most important thing was sharing the day with my DH and loved ones

Hope you have a wonderful day

FenellaMaxwell · 16/02/2020 09:47

Best: prioritising honeymoon! Not having separate day and night guests

Worst: inviting family I hadn’t seen in years because others insisted. My dress. It was incredibly beautiful but so delicate it basically dissolved as the day went on!

FriedasCarLoad · 16/02/2020 09:50

Best decision - having lots and lots of guests. Almost everyone we really love was there, and we felt so surrounded by love all day. Even with 250 people in the afternoon and 140 in the evening, we got to chat to everyone.

Worst decision - my (ordained) FIL wanted to take the service. He insisted on certain things I was really unhappy with, and caused me a lot of stress, especially the evening before the wedding. Had me in floods of tears at the rehearsal and still wouldn't budge from his own preferences.

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