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To invite or not to invite

5 replies

Lamazedragon · 26/10/2019 22:54

Hello, so I am getting married next year to my long term partner, we have lived together for many years and we have small children already. We are having a registry office ceremony with about 30 people, family and a few close friends, followed by a reception with space for about 60 people. As well as the 30 family and friends there are some mutual friends we both want to invite, and then some of FH's work mates.

My problem is that my friendships changed drastically when I had children. Unfortunately I didn't really manage to stay in touch with many of my pre-baby friends. Most do not have kids and whilst we didn't fall out, our paths rarely cross and it's been several years since we met up socially. However there are a few who were once good friends, whose weddings we attended, who it seems it would be rude not to invite. Or is it odd to invite them when we see them so seldom, and aren't actively friends anymore?

Then I have some new friends that I know through my children. We are quite close and see each other weekly. However the friendships are quite new, and mainly based around the kids being friends. I am not sure if it's odd to invite those friends, or odd not to? It would also involve inviting a lot of children, which I am ok with but along with family and close friend's children, I might have to consider some kids entertainment for that many!

Really not sure what to do as I feel in a bit of a limbo between friendships. I would be happy with just the family and a few close friends we have, but as there's room for a few more I am wondering who to include.

Thanks for reading, with this being mumsnet I am wondering if anyone else is in a similar sittuation. Thanks!

OP posts:
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 27/10/2019 07:58

Hmmmm. Tricky. It could be a chance to deepen your new friendships as people usually feel pleased for a wedding invite. Maybe try to arrange a night out with pre-children friends and see how you feel after seeing them again?

FinallyHere · 27/10/2019 08:00

I asked myself 'how would I feel if I never saw these o people again' and invited everyone I would be sorry not to see again.

Hope that helps, have a wonderful day xx

Daffodil2018 · 27/10/2019 08:01

Someone once said to me that wedding guest lists are just a snapshot in time. Meaning they reflect who you are friends with at the time, and shouldn't create pressure to invite everyone you've ever known.

I think if you were having a wedding of 300 people you should probably invite them but given it's 60 for the reception they will understand if you don't invite them (and if they hear about it, presumably via social media).

Spied · 27/10/2019 08:17

Is it really likely these old friends would accept an invitation anyways? Seems like you all have completely moved on.
I think it would be more usual you would get a polite decline since it would be awkward accepting if you hadn't all kept in touch.
I think I'd invite new friends.These are people who are part of your lives now.
Live for now.

Lamazedragon · 27/10/2019 15:34

Great advice, thanks everyone.

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