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How to ‘sack’ a bridesmaid

5 replies

ImagineRainbows · 26/09/2019 17:20

Feel really awful but I need to tell one of my bridesmaids that she can’t be bridesmaid anymore.

Wedding isn’t until 2020 but we’ve talked about it for years as been engaged 6 years now. We always said she would be my bridesmaid as we were really close friends at the time. Over a year ago I moved away from the local area (30 mins away) and so we’ve drifted apart now with having busy lives etc. She’s only visited once in that year for example whereas we used to see each other every week at least.

When we set the date and booked the wedding I told her and asked her to be bridesmaid as despite drifting apart I hoped to rekindle the friendship and really care for her a lot. The problem is since it’s been booked I’ve got a lot of people who ‘expect’ to be bridesmaid. My sister for example, other close friends etc.

I really can’t afford to have that many bridesmaids and I don’t want a large wedding party. I know that when I tell these people I can’t have them for this reason and they find out old friend is a bridesmaid it’s going to cause so much upset and fall out and I really don’t want that. My other bridesmaids are my daughters so no-one will question that.

I’m really thinking the easier option to keep everyone happy to to just have my daughters as bridesmaids as tell everyone it’s a small wedding and we’re not having a large wedding party.

But how on earth do I tell my friend who I’ve already asked to be bridesmaid that she can’t now. I’m so worried she will be upset and I understand that but the only other way I can see if solving this is ending up with 6 bridesmaids and I really can’t afford and don’t want that.

OP posts:
NChangeForNoReason · 26/09/2019 17:44

Hi friend, we have been looking over the wedding plans and have had a change of heart. We've decided we want a smaller wedding than originally planned so will be cutting back on certain elements. One of which being the number of bridesmaids/pages/ushers we have in attendance. We have decided that only want our daughters to be bridesmaids as this fits with the much smaller theme. As one of my oldest friends I do hope you understand our choice and we look forward to sharing our special day with you as our guest. Much love, Me x

Sneezeandooops · 26/09/2019 17:48

That is the perfect thing to say NChangeForNoReason

Justmuddlingalong · 26/09/2019 18:02

She’s only visited once in that year for example whereas we used to see each other every week at least.
How many times have you been to see her? If neither of you are making the effort, I don't think she will be shocked tbh.

ImagineRainbows · 26/09/2019 18:31

@NChangeForNoReason That’s lovely thank you.

OP posts:
ImagineRainbows · 26/09/2019 18:33

And I’ve been twice that I can remember of the top of my head. We both have busy lives, busy jobs, children with health issues. It’s tough finding the time now that we’re further apart. It’s no judgment on her at all.

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