Informal hotel restaurant?

[StrongInside]

Hi,

Ok, so this must be the only option I have not considered yet. I have found a couple of restaurant function rooms but they charge quite a bit for extended opening hours hire, and having thought about the logistics of putting ours and guests’ kids to bed at a reasonable hour during the reception, a hotel might just be what we need!

I would like it to be:
-in the countryside or in a small village
-ideally by the water or with any nice view/grounds, so we are not just cooped up inside a room all day
-have space for the ceremony (csn be in the same private dining area, I am not fussed)
-modern or neutral-looking inside (as opposed to antlers on the walls, traditional carpets and floral wallpaper)
-with a private restaurant or function room

Like Errichel House in Aberfeldy (errichelhouseandrestaurant.co.uk/ ), Venachar Lochside near Callander (www.venachar-lochside.com/# ), The Cow Shed in Banchory (www.cowshedrestaurantbanchory.co.uk/weddings/ ) or The Lodge on the Loch of Aboyne (www.thelodgeontheloch.com/ ), only where the place is open till late=no hire charge and no exclusive hire=much cheaper.

We need to be able to put our little guests to bed before the reception is over, so having accommodation and reception at one venue would be the easiest (baby monitor and family taking turns to check on the kids or hiring a nanny and family enjoying the whole reception). I don’t feel easy about the idea of having a stranger (nanny) come and take him away somewhere else, I would rather be nearby.

Plan B would be a DIY blank canvas like a barn with accommodation on site, but because we only plan on inviting two-three dozen people, we don’t want to rattle around in a large space. And I haven’t found any small and inexpensive blank canvas, so gave up on that.

Area-wise, North, North-East, Perthshire, Fife, Angus would be best for us. Thanks!

Small Private dining type in my area would be Crathorne Hall, Wynyard Hall, The Yorkshire Wedding Barn. Worth Looking in Northumberland too - Slaley Hall, Le Petite Chateu, Alnwick Treehouse. (I'm hoping I've got the right NE and you're not only meaning NE Scotland hah)

Sorry that the links haven’t worked, will try again. These are the examples of venues that almost ticked all the boxes:

errichelhouseandrestaurant.co.uk/

www.venachar-lochside.com/#

www.cowshedrestaurantbanchory.co.uk/

www.thelodgeontheloch.com/

Sorry, we are in Scotland, I have just assumed I have bothered everyone on here with my dilemmas that long that everyone will know😊

OR farm with a restaurant and accommodation! Like Errichel above, not technically a hotel. Doesm’t need to accommodate all of our 25-30 guests, most can source their own accommodation if needed.

South Queensferry near Edinburgh? There is a register office www.edinburgh.gov.uk/downloads/download/1614/civil_marriage_ceremony_in_south_queensferry_registration_office

And some lovely restaurants overlooking water & the forth bridges like The Boat House or Orocco Pier

Hey, thanks. That’s a bit further than we can ask our guests to drive. I keep finding beautiful restaurants without accommodation nearby or in exclusive use venues.

Thought of another question, to those that have had their small reception or been to one as a guest at a restaurant or hotel function room. What did you do after the meal? It sounds boring to be at a table for 6-8 hours, and dining areas/rooms for small groups aren’t that big.

We finished in the restaurant at 9pm. We all walked across the road to the town square for drinks in a bar outside and out first dance!
The oldies went home, we left after an hour to the honeymoon hotel and the younger guests went back to the villa and pool ( until 6am apparently)

This is lovely. Very smart, modern and comfortable inside with a highland twist.

banchorylodge.com/weddings/

SheWoreBlueVelvet, ah, sounds amazing, but it was abroad, wasn’t it😉

Aurea, thanks, Banchory Lodge looks nice but their wedding function suites are huge. Well, huge for 30 people. Unless I’ve missed something on their website.

Well if you ditch Scotland ...

I know, I’ve abandoned that idea because our budget won’t stretch far in Portugal and I’ve had a bit of a nightmare getting people to get back to me (venues and planners). Cyprus is too far to travel, Greece and Italy a bit too long flights or expensive. Plus no way of knowing prices after Brexit and with Thomas Cook going bust. Big sigh.

Aaanyway, I’m going in circles Googling and I am majorly confused and defeated. Help! Hotels with function rooms suitable for smaller weddings on a non-exclusive hire basis are nice enough and within budget, but there is no space for dancing or moving around, as I am finding out belatedly. So there is no point in going through with that option. Could move on to a village hall of some sort after a meal for drinks and dancing, but it seems difficult to find one small enough and near the reception venue plus decorating it for the sake of a few hours, and I still want to be close to the accommodation (or better, in the same building) where our kids are going to sleep. I’m not having a stranger I’ve never met put my LO to bed (and we aren’t likely to meet the nanny in advance if we go for a non-local venue and local venues are too overpriced or oldfashioned). Relatives will take turns being in the room next door to the LOs, so needs to be on site for them to be able to return to the reception area easily.

It’s not you, whatever anyone says about Bridezillas. There is no reason why you shouldn’t be able organise a small party for £3000 but weddings really seem to have a seperate dimension of expense.

Can you tie it into some other event? Festival, book fair, sporting event so that food and accommodation are easily bookable, marquee already up!
Go on Don’t tell the Bride?
AirBNB area you like to death?

When were you planning on getting married. Was it next year?

That’s it, it’s just a party, ceremony aside. A party where somehow everyone’s food starts costing £50+ per head and everything has to come in a package that unashamedly benefits the venue hugely. Never thought to tie it into an event. I am guessing places will still charge a fortune for the already erected marquees, they all seem to be charging for things that are already there, like pianos, furniture, props, views etc. The Don’t Tell The Bride idea has made me chuckle, thanks!😃 I am really not confident enough to be on TV, and I couldn’t get my partner to book a holiday, let alone plan a wedding. I have found Airbnbs, but one owner has started ignoring me after one short message exchange. I have found one house that is modern and the owner has access to a marquee and BBQ on a nice budget, but we can’t spend the whole day in a small marquee (glorified tent) and the house is too small to fit us all in. Otherwise, I would have happily sourced suppliers. Big houses are too expensive, small ones won’t fit an afterparty (and the noise in most places has to stop at 11pm).
I don’t know how anyone else on a budget does it, other than getting a burger on a side of the road🙄

And yes, next year at some point, probably in summer to have a decent chance of warmth and lighter days.

www.venachar-lochside.com/restaurant

Too expensive?

A bit on the expensive side (I’ve found much cheaper hire and drinks packages), but perfect views and great wedding coordinator. Just no accommodation, so one of our parents would have to leave and not come back to the reception early to put our toddler to bed.

And that’s not something we want to have them do (and they aren’t too keen either).

This one has lovely views www.thefourseasonshotel.co.uk

AiryFairyMum, yes, amazing views! One of the places I am chasing (and chasing..). If anyone knows of any similar hotels, please let me know.

The marquee and BBQ sounds lovely. Is there a garden you can use if the weather is good? Is there a lounge in the house you can use as a quiet room for a few guests? It could be like a posh party at home. Really chilled.

It is a lovely venue. Really friendly staff too.

User1474.., loads of lodges and cottages in Booking.com and Airbnb with private gardens or near water, most too small for large parties or don’t allow parties at all, but the ones that do have plenty of indoor chilling out space. I just don’t want it to look like someone’s Saturday night house party with people lounging around on sofas or in the kitchen. Marquee in the garden will need heating, lighting (for the evening at least), flooring for dancing etc. Decided against this option in favour of a hotel with a hireable private dining area.

I've followed some of your threads, and to be fair I think you have some very constrained ideas. And tbh (I'm in the industry) I just don't think that what you're looking for is possible.

You don't want something in the winter months (when things are cheaper)
You don't really want at DIY wedding because you don't want to spend the day before setting up and the day after clearing up.
You don't want a hall where you might be 'rattling around'.
You have set ideas about having something clean / modern / bright and not tartan and dingy (well we can all understand that one )
You have complicated family arrangements about accommodation nearby - which people might or might not need.
You have complicated arrangements about needing somewhere for your own dc to sleep (in the wedding venue).
You looked at a hotel restaurant but seemed unhappy with the lack of extended hours or something about the music (due to other hotel guests nearby).

Someone upthread joked about DTTB, but you know the budget for that is £12-15K. That is 4 or 5 times your budget. Surely that must tell you something?

Your budget is £3K. You have to take £400 - £600 off that for the legal element of your wedding (assuming you want a registrar or other celebrant to come to your venue). Of course you could get married for £150 at the register office, but that's not what you've been describing!

You might want a cake, some photos. Are you getting those done professionally or do you have friends who will do it? You might be looking at another £1,000 for both of those. Who is paying for your dress? Kilts? clothes for your kids? Or is that in addition to your £3k budget?

You are looking for some very premium things (a quirky barn, a modern venue overlooking water, a summer wedding). In reality that is never going to come in on your budget (never mind the additional requirements for close and cheap accommodation in a lovely rural setting.

I can appreciate that this is frustrating for you, but maybe you can look at the options that you have rejected so far.

Please, please, whatever you do, do NOT increase your budget or get into debt. But maybe look at how you can create the feel, the ambience, the family connections, the modernity... What is really important to you? (and you do know that even abroad you could have shit weather for your wedding!)

Imagine an alternative. A wedding on 1st December, an advent wedding. The venue will already be decorated (for Christmas). Everything will be sparkly and fun and festive.

That may not be right for you, but within your budget you have to be creative, and you have to be prepared to compromise.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I work alongside this stuff, and I want you to be realistic and not to be frustratedly looking for something that you cannot find.

Venusandmars, thanks for your input. I appreciate this isn’t what most couples spend on their big party, but I believe it is doable. Perhaps we’ll have to give up on the view, that I can do.

There is no way on earth that we would pay £1k for cake and photos. It’ll be more like £50 for the cake and around £400 for photos (having shopped around, I know this can be done). Dress is going to be around £50 (found one already, Chinese make but free returns on Amazon and I have bought from that brand before). We only have one child, and the clothes won’t cost hundreds. No bridal party, one meal instead of two because of the ceremony later in the afternoon. No band, no DJ. So the majority of £3000 is going to be spent on the venue hire and catering. We are talking a function room so it doesn’t (or shouldn’t!) cost several grand.

I find it appalling how the whole industry makes so much money on weddings, charging many times over the value of things and charging for stuff they already have in the back room.

Are you saying there aren’t any hotels with private dining areas hireable for £300-500? Buffets cost around £15-20pp, and we will be having the cheapest drinks package, so that comes in at around £1k.