Budget Scottish wedding at a self-catering cottage

[StrongInside]

Hi,

I’m trying to figure everything out before pitching it to my fiance. In my mind, I would like a small wedding (around 15-20 guests) somewhere in Scotland with a nice backdrop for photos where we will need only minimal decorations. Somewhere modern looking.

I can’t stand expensive formal hotel weddings with tartan carpets, boring white table linen and bog standard decorations. My idea is hiring several self-catering cottages for everyone to have their privacy, with an on-site place for the ceremony and maybe gathering around a chimenea in the evening (relative can bring theirs) or having lawn games. I want to choose my own suppliers so not keen on venues offering packages.

To give you an idea, I initially wanted a destination wedding on a beach with bright pops of colour where the sun, palm trees and blue sky provide a beautiful backdrop in themselves. We have now decided on staying put as it will be easier for us with a young baby and two toddler nephews. When I look at Scottish wedding ideas, they all look so boring, expensive or gloomy in some field where guests are in wellies.

Any location ideas that could bring a relaxed destination wedding vibe to Scotland? I can obviously put pops of colour around if the venue is plain, but would be nice not to spend two days on decorations.

Also, I know we could just find a big lodge with cottages next to it and have the ceremony in the lodge’s living room with re-arranged furniture if it rained. Just don’t know how to find such a place.

I know the weather is a hit or a miss so no preference on time of the year, hopefully next year.
Thanks!

Thanks, I have found a couple of websites selling artificial flowers so I’m sorted there, it’s accommodation and venue that I’m not sure about.

I have looked at the links in this thread and contacted a couple of locations (some are a bit too far away). Craggantoul properties looked perfect but disappointingly, they don’t allow weddings😕 Here is a link to show the type of properties I like the look of- modern, on the water, separate for each couple/family rather than a big house. And it appealed to me that they don’t advertise as a wedding venue because such places hike up the prices.
craggantoul.net/accommodation/

I think it will be too difficult to coordinate completely separate locations for the guests to stay the night of the wedding ( I was originally going to find a selection of cottages and B&Bs) and if each accommodation was from a different owner, it would be a logistical nightmare. So does anyone know of an estate perhaps similar to Craggantoul (modern, preferably on the water, Perthshire maybe?) where several small properties are available?

Websites such as Cottages and Castles have loads of places but either big houses for large groups, which I don’t want, or separately owned properties. Not sure where else to look.

I went to a wedding at loch tay highland lodges. Sounds exactly like what you are looking for. Good luck!

Loch Tay Highland Lodges would have been great. They haven’t got back to me yet. Glen Tanar was recommended here earlier which is located in beautiful surroundings but their cottages and approved catering are too expensive for us. Waiting to see of they can offer anything else.

I know you are saying you don’t want a big house and you don’t want a wedding venue, but to be honest I think you need one.

I think part of the problem you’re having is that you are looking at venues incompatible with your event or your event is incompatible with the venues.

A collection of smaller cottages won’t have enough room for the whole group to gather in one space inside and you can’t count on the Scottish weather!

However, a big house will cost a fortune, easily your whole budget and then some, without your dress, food, drinks, decorations etc etc. How many people do you know that have dining space (indoors) (and in one room) for 15-20 guests? Rich people that’s who so there are limited amounts of these properties.

Smaller cottages will not allow events such as weddings as they will be worried about noise annoying other guests and locals.

On the other hand, collections of cottages in secluded locations with no neighbors will know they are perfect for these type of events, and therefore will charge very high prices for exclusive use.

The cottage ‘collection’ we used for our wedding charges £5K for a summer weekend for about 40 guests but they do allow BBQs and parties etc and it’s set on a private estate. This is to give you an idea of what price this type of accommodation is when they allow events.

I know this sounds ultra cheeky but what about the place where your family member got married? It was within budget and you could ask her if she minded? I know I wouldn’t. Being honest I think you are really going to struggle to get this event on budget and how you want it.

Hey, thanks for your suggestion. I knew my vision of us chilling by the lake around a firepit after a laid back ceremony either by that lake or inside some a small but perfectly formed house with enough room for a long table was too good to be true. I assumed it would as easy as finding an estate or holiday park with a few cottages available next to each other. I honestly don’t think it’ll work to be in the same house- several couples with either a baby or an unruly toddler, several older couples without kids, it just won’t work for all to sleep under one roof like it would if this were a group of friends on a hen do or something.

Would you consider Gretna Green? And instead of separate houses, stay in the very nice hotel there for a night or two? It's a compromise from what you really want, but it's the closest I can think of that's within your budget.

Gretna Green is too far away from us unfortunately and has to be one of the most popular locations which usually means expensive. There must be heaps of cottage locations near water where there are several cottages and nice grounds around them. It would be sooooo much easier to hire a beautiful modern lodge that fits all the guests in, but with some couples having energetic toddlers, others liking the peace and quiet, and overall half the guests not knowing each other all that well (and being quieter types) I’m struggling to imagine what everyone would do.

The good thing about lodge from the family wedding was that it was just a pretty lodge with a large private garden, and then they started attracting weddings, presumably adjusting their prices accordingly. There must be more places like that🤔

Would you consider upping your budget, get the big modern lodge with the dining space for 15-20, but under-occupy it? Rest of the family can sort out their own accommodation?

Tbh in your shoes I’d be thinking fuck it and go back to the abroad idea!

This place near Oban seems to fit the bill, and it has a bar/restaurant.
www.cologin.co.uk/

BitchyArriver, ha, I’m soooo tempted to revisit my dream destination wedding! You get so much more for less, and the scenery, especially if there is a license for a beach wedding, would be so amazing! I just worry about all the travelling with what will be a 1.5-year-old (he is not currently a good sleeper- screw a holiday with no rest if he continues like this; I don’t like flying and hanging around airports as it is, but with a toddler I would just constantly worry about what ifs- what if he is ill when we need to travel or when we get there which interferes with the wedding; what if he hates flying and cries the whole flight; hygiene inside the plane etc.). Plus all the other things to consider like car seat safety abroad- would we hire one over there for the transfers from/to airport. Soooo many questions. And it’s been along engagement, we want to finally get married already, so not willing to wait a few more years until out little one is easier to handle.

Yes, I would consider under occupying a larger property if I could find one with smaller accommodation nearby. I don’t want to leave guests to book their own accommodation- some of them are too last minute for my liking. Wish we could just ask everyone to pay for their own, but I feel like if we are taking them away from home and somewhere they might not have budgeted for, we have to cover the costs.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder, thanks for the link, that does sound like it fits the bill. Such a pretty location too. I will enquire if they allow weddings. Might be a bit too long of a drive for some of our guests, that’s the only thing. I’ve never come across this place before when Googled, how did you find out about it? Wonder if there are similar sites advertised on the same website.

I don’t want to leave guests to book their own accommodation- some of them are too last minute for my liking. Wish we could just ask everyone to pay for their own, but I feel like if we are taking them away from home and somewhere they might not have budgeted for, we have to cover the costs.

Book the larger property. Offer them paid-for rooms or the option to book their own accommodation elsewhere. If they’d prefer not to stay in the big house with other families they can sort themselves out.

I think you’re trying to control absolutely every variable AND do it on a tight budget. Just accept that compromises must be made and then figure out which ones are best - big house instead of cottages, or longer drive instead of local, or only booking your own accommodation instead of paying for everyone etc.

I think for that I googled 'cottage groups weddings scotland' or something like that, and several rental sites popped up that I wasn't familiar with.

Wish we could just ask everyone to pay for their own, but I feel like if we are taking them away from home and somewhere they might not have budgeted for, we have to cover the costs.

Not trying to be harsh but you can’t cover accommodation (for the 3 nights min) AND cater your wedding plus arrange the ceremony for £2-3K. It’s just not going to happen.

Adjust your budget and/or expectations and you will be able to move forward.

I think all of you are right- I need to be more realistic about the budget. I would absolutely love to just book a nice ceremony venue and leave guest accommodation to the guests. My main worry is, knowing some of our friends’ financial situation, that if they can’t find an affordable and available (no guarantees there!) place to stay nearby, they will excuse themselves and not come. And given our guest list is already very small, we could just be left with our family, and that’s not my idea of a fun hangout for my wedding, that’s just a Sunday get together. I know when we were offered to stay overnight near a friend’s village hall wedding, we decided to go home instead because the house was to be shared with two-three other couples we aren’t close with, and there was nothing else in the vicinity. I’ve just remembered about that wedding.

P.S. That venue wasn’t far for us to drive from. If it was, I’m not if we would have gone.

So you’d like a weekend away wedding, but you’re not sure your friends will enjoy it enough to one? Maybe you need to be closer to home instead- and spend your budget on a lovely honeymoon?

Figure out what is most important and/or what would be most upsetting.

Lovely destination and the chance some won’t fancy the accommodation?

Everyone there but not so special a place?

I’d also wonder if you might be projecting your worries a bit - why don’t you ask people’s opinions now if the guest list is small? Some might not actually mind staying en masse after all. At least you’d know!

You could look for a wedding venue somewhere near a holiday park/static caravan site etc. If you get married off season there should be availability for guests to pick their own accommodation, you’d just then need a lovely location to marry, perhaps elsewhere but close by. E.g. plucked at random in Perthshire
www.rivertiltpark.co.uk/

You and your family could stay in something special, and look out for the perfect venue for the wedding/reception. We had ours in a pub - I can recommend that as an option!

OP, I totally get what you mean when you say how you would feel if your friends declined and only family came. You would still have some of your loved ones there, but it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without your mates.

I’m sure some of the fun police will be along in a minute to tell me that getting married is the important thing, and you should be happy with the registry office and a cold bacon roll after (shared between your 4 guests) and the whole thing should cost less than £46 and if it doesn’t, you don’t really care about being married bla bla bla.

But I do understand you want it to be special, and you will have to figure out what you are prepared to comprise on. Do you increase the budget and ensure you can accommodate your friends within it? Do you somehow manage abroad with a toddler? Do you change your idea of the whole rural cottage party and just go to the local registry office and have lunch after?

We originally wanted a wedding aboard, but the fact that most guests would probably decline put me off. We ended up hiring a county estate with cottages in Perthshire for the weekend, but the venue including accommodation cost us £5.5K not including any catering, drinks etc. We did cover guests accommodation as, like you, we didn’t want to miss anyones presence on the day if they couldn’t afford it. After all it was our choice to get married in the arse end of nowhere. It was an incredible 3 days though. We had BBQs the day before and after the wedding day, a bonfire near the lake, watched the stars, had a hot tub overlooking the lake etc etc. It was such fun and I remember it fondly.

I think if budget had been an issue we would have just hand picked a few people, then taken them on a awesome holiday with the perfect location.

I hope you figure out how to get what you want.

Thank you all. So much food for thought and very good points. Maybe if the house had several wings or floors, everyone could spread out and not disturb one another. At the end of the day, we managed fine at my relative’s wedding in one lodge, then sat in the garden the next morning and enjoyed the sunshine. Hot tub or pool, maybe a games room for adults and a play area for the kids, and we could be sorted. Seems easier to find than the elusive cottages I was looking for.

Mind you, I’m still waiting to hear back from Loch Tay Woodland Lodges and Glen Tanar.

BitchyArriver, oh, I have had an encounter with the fun wedding police already on another thread. I dared to care about a colour theme that will involve our family and friends (which, knowing all of our guests really well, will go down well). Dozens upon dozens of comments about how I don’t care about marriage, how much of a Bridezilla I am etc.etc. I’m actually surprised no one on this thread has told me off yet😁

What about either of these?

lochlomondlodge.co.uk/
www.loch-lomond-waterfront.co.uk/

I'm a celebrant and have held really relaxed ceremonies in both of these places.

Thanks Venusandmars, I have contacted them for a quote. I suspect they won’t be cheap as they advertise for weddings. Do you know of any other Loch Lomond locations or nearby?

Loch Lomond Lodge only cater for small weddings with up to 10 guests, they have replied.

I have decided that like some of you suggested, we should hire a big house for some of the guests to stay in and where we could have our reception. My partner isn’t keen on holding the ceremony in the same house if it rains, not too weddingy for him 🤷🏻‍♀️ So any large houses (that don’t cost over £1k) near some nice venue?

The cheapest and prettiest place to get married would be outdoors near a lake, river, waterfall etc. But Scottish weather isn’t reliable, so could we get away with pitching up a large gazebo that I’ve seen sold on Amazon? Surely in August-September there won’t be torrential rain with strong wind in Perthshire, Moray, Loch Lomond or nearby? I get the impression that West Coast could be more unpredictable, based on our travels.