Invitation Etiquette

[MittensForKittens123]

We sent out save the dates a while ago, and we have a small number of people who have told us they can’t make it - I am now not sure if we should send them an actual invite or not? What is normal?

If they've declined the save the date then it means they cannot come to the wedding. I'd take them off the guest list.

I think if you're relieved they've declined as it helps your numbers or other similar reason then you don't have to send them an invitation. Or if you'd rather they still came in case anything has changed, then send one. I don't think there's a set etiquette.

If they've told you they can't make it then don't send an invite. They've told you nice and early so you can think if there's anyone else you'd like to invite but couldn't before due to numbers.

The save the date is perfect for great will put that in the diary/great we don’t have to bother inviting them, who is on the b list?

I’d almost find it a bit passive aggressive if I got an invite after saying I couldn’t make it tbh!

There were people we had to send invites too even though they could not attend (MIL insisted that her siblings were sent an invite even though they were not going to be attending). The only thing I would say is this caused me stress as we did not have the official no and could have turned up on the day...

Surely, if they are close / important enough to have had save the dates, then you can just say, in conversation, 'Do you still want an official invitation as a keepsake or not ?'. I can see some Grandparents, for example, might like one to keep. Personally, I wouldn't, but presumably these people are close enough that you can ask them a simple question.