What would you do, wedding cake

[lorribella]

Hello

I'm getting married in December 2019. My cousin makes cakes from home and has done for around 2 years, she sells these cakes and they look ok I suppose.

when I told her about the wedding she immediately stated she would make my wedding cake. The issue is I really dislike her baking and I personally think her cakes are disgusting and she never has repeat customers. I feel so bad because she is family but I can't serve guests a cake from her and I also want a really nice wedding cake to stuff my face with after it's all over. To add she is very unhygienic but will be incredibly hurt if I don't let her make it.

I feel absolutely terrible but how do I get out of this. I couldn't answer she just threw it upon me. She's already texting me with 'oh I've some great ideas for your cake' 😭 and wants me over to taste samples. She always makes the same plain sponge and uses cheap ingredients.

I'm very aware I sound horrible but I really want to be able to eat my wedding cake.

Can you say someone on your dh side has paid the deposit for you with a cake maker as a gift?

Could you stipulate the ingredients you want? Like butter not marj?

Or research something madly expensive ( don’t some cakes have gold leaf or something?) and say you’ve fallen in love with it and don’t want to put the expense on her.

My mum has actually asked what she can pay for towards the wedding and I do not want her to pay a fortune for something so I actually thought that she could pay for a wedding cake. That could help me position it

I'd be careful asking your mum to pay for the cake because your cousin can interfere. I think best to say the cake payer is on your DHs side so she can't get involved.

I'd say something is arranged/paid for by other relative but you could ask her to make the cake for another part e.g. hen party when you're all drunk? So she feels part

Agree with the above and say the cake is already sorted but thank her anyway. You can also add in its someone you've always wanted to do your wedding cake (ie long before she started doing cakes!)

Ask her if she would do some cupcakes for the hen do and that your husbands nan/aunty/2nd cousin had promised your fiancé years ago to make his wedding cake.

DONT BE WEAK. YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE A CRAP CAKE.

Go down the route of not wanting her to be too stressed ahead of and at the wedding! I have done a wedding cake for close friends before (and a number of special occasion cakes) and trust me, until it's cut and tasted and ok I am not relaxed.

On top of that I want to order a cake and then not think about it but she will torture me with messages about it the day before and the day of the wedding etc

Asking her to do a hen party cake would be the best bet - great idea. Your dh side have organised the wedding cake as a surprise and it's all sorted ??

Could you not “win” a cake in some fictitional facebook competition?

Dear Cousin
Thanks for the offer to make our Wedding Cake , but I've already ordered the baker I want when I visited that wedding fair recently.

I'd just say 'thanks but were thinking of a cheese board cake at the moment, but if we do have a cake I've got someone in mind. I was thinking of having cupcakes for the hen do though and hoping you'd make those?'

Tell her you want a croqkombuche! She will shit herself!

Oooh yeah “win” the cake! Great idea evilharpy

‘Oh thanks so much for the offer but we’ve just confirmed our package with the hotel, and they’ve actually thrown in the wedding cake as part of it! It’s probably for the best as it’s free and you’ll have no stress in the run up to the big day!’

@Piggysmalls that is genius

You should have nipped it in the bud immediately when she said 'I'll do your cake'.

I'm sensing you're going to have to be very clear with her so as she gets the message. I agree asking her to do a hen party cake might soften the blow.

Also how bloody cheeky for her to tell you what ideas SHE has for YOUR wedding cake. I'm a cake maker and wonder if that's why she doesn't have many repeat customers!

If she's really insistent could she do a groom's cake instead? If they look okay (but don't taste great). Maybe something 'themed'.

Wedding cheese instead and buy yourself your favourite cake to indulge in after the wedding or make your own (either actually or get someone else to do it)

Say thanks but I've already got it covered and then as a softener, ask her to do one for your hen do. That way, she gets to feel wanted and you can have a decent cake on the day

How about making up some story about a bakery that your mum and grandma etc all had their cake from and you want to carry on the tradition?

@lorribella I hope it works! If pressed on it you could just say something about how they prefer things to come from their kitchen due to food standards (or whatever it’s called, I’m not in the UK)

Piggysmalls that's a good point actually. I have previously run a cake business and know a lot of people who run similar businesses through facebook groups. Many venues require sight of the cake maker's public liability insurance before they will allow the cake to be served. It's quite common.

I think yours is one of those venues, OP, and they wouldn't allow a cake from an uninsured home baker, what a shame.