what food for a super relaxed wedding?!

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I need help!

we are having a 3pm wedding, next july.

Ceremony in a local council owned property (think old beautiful house, nice gardens etc) and reception literally directly over the road at a rugby club. Its been entirely re built, with a nice terrace etc and we have free run of inside and outside.

We want it to be really relaxed, people inside or outside whenever they want (hoping the weather wont let us down!) no speeches, no first dance, no cutting cakes etc.

We just don't know what to do about the food.

So there ceremony will be at 3pm, food about 4:30/5ish?

But what?! what fits with the relaxed summer theme? I don't want a sit down meal, we wont be having seating plans and ideally its something that can be eaten inside/outside

I don't really like the idea of a BBQ because its too easy to give people food poisoning and I probably wouldn't eat it myself (I don't have massive issues with food but stuff like that is my worst nightmare)

also, if the weather's shit we would be done for.

can anyone help!?

also we will be having maybe 10 extra evening guests - do we then have to do more food in the evening? I think we probably do but DP isn't sure people will want to eat again so soon?!

Thanks!

Yes I’m not trying to be challenging, am genuinely curious.... what are your dietary requirements nigel? For example, things like pizza can easily be made GF and vegan (so meat and dairy free)?

oh nigel its really weird that you would assume because I am wanting more relaxed options that I will neglect to ask my guests for the dietary requirements. Next time I will put a disclaimer in my op!

I have severe life-threatening allergies. I have never once EVER bitched about not being accommodated, and if I’m going to an event where food is served i apologise for being difficult and make it clear I would much rather provide my own food than cause them any inconvenience.

Honestly, why are some people so dramatic?

Nigel lost me at the imaginary sad dinner party with the jelly cake

ImNotNigel are you okay hun

My MiL has severe food allergies to a lot of things, if she cant be sure there will be food available that is suitable she just takes something with her so she doesn't faint on the dance floor after one gin

@MoreSlidingDoors not many non carb eating veggies around. Maybe they could bring their own food?

Tbh when you’re dietary needs are that specific I can’t work out how having any level of relaxed / non-relaxed isn’t going to involve some level of special catering. A traditional formal wedding breakfast doesn’t tick a lot of the boxes mentioned either. But good hosts work around it if they’re given the information... which OP has said she’d do anyway, so it’s a moot point.

MoreSlidingDoors not many non carb eating veggies around. Maybe they could bring their own food?

I’ve said more than once on this thread that I usually do.

SlidingDoors TELL PEOPLE. Conferences etc with caterers are used to working to a brief. Anyone inviting you to a wedding is wanting to host you. Tell them what you can’t eat suggest a few things that you can and like.

Not everyone will be understanding or accommodating but at a work event surely they have to?

Like MoreSlidingDoors, I can bring my own food. But if I did so, no doubt others would accuse me of being difficult.

As I got my large cool box out the car and asked the hotel staff to put my own food in their fridge. Then asked them to bring it out with every else’s meal for lunch.

Then to heat up my hot meal and serve it in the evening.

I might also wonder where I keep it if I’m staying over in the hotel the night before. I’m pretty sure my ice packs will have defrosted by then.

The people who glibly suggest this usually have never actually thought through the implications. They would be the first ones to roll their eyes and mutter about “attention seeking “ it anyone actually did this.

AFAIK most hotels won’t serve food they didn’t prepare due to H&S, but I’m sure others will know better than me.

I am laughing at all these male guests being asked to bring a big enough handbag to put their lunch and dinner in. Oh and breakfast for those staying overnight.

For those who asked, I am gluten free, my sister is vegetarian. These are not complicated or rare, in fact they are really REALLY easy for any professional caterer to deal with. All that’s needed is

1. Host to tell caterer in advance and check what alternatives they are actually providing. I stress “alternatives “ as often the default position is simply to tell the geust what items contain things they can’t eat. So the Gf option is to tell you that you can’t eat 90% of the items on the buffet. The vegetarian option is to tell you that the pork contains meat.

The reason I would check to ensure ( as in my example above ) that my guests were not being given lettuce, boiled rice and ice cream. Yes it technically is a vegetarian meal. No it’s not what I’d want to give my guests in my home or at a party / wedding. Though I guess that everyone has a different idea of hospitality - that’s clear from this thread.

1. Host to check on the day with manager that items are actually there ( rather than just promised ) and that staff serving know it’s there and will advise guests accordingly.

1. People with dietary requirements actually get to eat the food . Which nearly always doesn’t happen at a buffet as the first few tables will take all of the GF or veggie options ( especially if they are labelled as such ) “ because they have always wanted to try them “.

I realise this takes time and thought and not everyone CBA to do thsi for their guests. Of course, hosts who don’t wish to cater for some or all of their guests need tell them when the invitations go out, so people can make an informed choice and plan in advance.

I have to say that asking people to bring their own is a money saving idea that probably could be extended to all guests and save hosts a fortune.

I’m enjoying the idea of hotel fridges full of guests handbags containing lunch and a row of microwaves in each function suite. Guests can balance their glass of champagne in one hand and their Tupperware and plastic forks in the other.

I know that weddings also take place in pubs and village halls but I’m sure the idea would catch on.

You’d have loved my ‘fuck you’ wedding then. Veggie and gluten free options available for all three courses, and held in a church hall with its own kitchen so a fridge available if you were wary of the catering. A relaxed wedding like ours sounds like it suits you far better than a full on hotel bash like you describe.

Replied to your message :)

I’m on day 2 of a conference. I emailed in advance to give my dietary requirements and had a conversation about them.

Thank fuck I didn’t trust them and brought a fridge with me containing things I can eat. Because they didn’t do a thing. I was the only person at an awards ceremony with no food. I was offered some pasta. I don’t eat pasta. Thought they might have thought ahead to today but no, it’s all stuff I can’t eat. So I’ve had to come out to buy something. They’ve literally served nothing I can eat for 2 days. Not even a piece of cheese or an omelette. This is a renowned hotel chain in a major city, by the way.

MoreSlidingDoors that’s so shit! Conferences in hotels are the worst.... I’m a vegetarian and the amount of times the catering staff can’t tell me if something is meat-free is insane. They just don’t ever seem to give a fuck!