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Original poster

Corsages and Buttonholes - who?

20 replies

StillWould · 22/05/2019 16:49

I thought I was so on it with plannnig my wedding and then this crops up...

I have ordered my flowers, bouquets for me and my bridesmaid and button holes for DF, Dad and best man.

However, I've now been told by a family member that I am meant to get corsages for all the women in my family and button holes for all the male members of the family. How have I not heard of this? Are they right? Does it make a difference that it's not a church wedding?

Some of this etiquette stuff seems mad! Help!

OP posts:
Original poster
StillWould · 22/05/2019 16:50

planning

OP posts:
Bubblysqueak · 22/05/2019 17:08

Never heard of that. Is it an American thing.
I thought button holes etc were just for wedding party, it certainly was at mine and every wedding I e been to.

Pipandmum · 22/05/2019 17:12

At my stepson’s wedding his half bro and sis (my kids) were given mini buttonholes and they were not part of the wedding party. I think the wedding party and mums/dads of the couple that’s it. Possibly grandparents if they’re alive.

Original poster
StillWould · 22/05/2019 17:13

So glad it's not just me! We are UK based though. I am wondering if it is a generational thing perhaps.

OP posts:
Pascha · 22/05/2019 17:13

Is this family member an older female? It's out of date etiquette for a middle class and upward wedding from maybe 50 years ago and more. I dont recall anybody bothering with that much faff in 40 years. Just do what best you want and forget about it.

EdWinchester · 22/05/2019 17:13

I’ve only seen corsages in American weddings or proms.

I wouldn’t bother with anymore button holes. Can’t imagine anyone would care. I always think they ruin a suit, but that might just be me.

chemenger · 22/05/2019 17:13

This happened to me, I think it's a regional thing. My inlaws were most put out that I wasn't doing this, they are from the North west of England, my relatives (Irish and Scottish) expected to buy their own. Not just a wedding party thing in my experience, but I am very old!

Original poster
StillWould · 22/05/2019 17:14

@pipandmum that's quite sweet for the kids, I am warming to that as an idea

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iklboo · 22/05/2019 17:16

We had button holes for the main wedding party only (top table guests), my bouquet and bridesmaids' posies. Never been to a U.K. wedding where they had corsages.

Original poster
StillWould · 22/05/2019 17:19

@pasha it is an older female and I think @chemenger also has it right regarding the region... interesting.

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HappyHarmonica · 22/05/2019 20:45

I have done button holes and corsages for our close family (our parents and sisters with their families) only reason we have done it this way is that both our parents are divorced and now remarried and I think their new partners (who won't be on the top table) should have button holes and corsages too

Teddybear45 · 22/05/2019 20:50

I didn’t do corsages but my friend did for the immediate wedding party. They got expensive but she doesn’t drink so it offset the cost — I preferred to put the extra amount behind the bar at my wedding instead.

Even in Indian weddings you often have 2 types of button holes - basic cheap flowers for normal guests, with the more expensive ones reserved for the wedding party / close friends and family.

GlamGiraffe · 22/05/2019 20:52

We had buttonholes for dh, both fathers, grown up son of dh, best man and ushers who happened to be my BILs.DH had one for his brother too as he was his only other close family member. I had bracelet cosages for my mum, grandma and both sisters. We had liads of other famiky members but didnt get any for them. As they were the immediate wedding party we felt it was reasonable. The hutyonholes were a rose with a leaf from memory and the corsage was a fine bead bracelet with a small orchid flower on, they weren't like the huge cottages you see in American prom films!Grin. They were quite inexpensive.

GlamGiraffe · 22/05/2019 20:58

Another thing, even though it's not a church wedding(mine wasnt) will you be having ushers or helpers? Maybe brothers or brother in laws? They would have button holes. Years ago the entire family, not just immediate, had button holes ( my dad's mum used to make orders up in the dark ages and people ordered about 80 for the whole wedding), that is deginitely not a thing now! I think it makes the mums feel special to have a small thing but don't let them choose!!Wink

mrsawhite · 22/05/2019 21:01

We did the following.

Buttonholes

Groom
2 best men
2 ushers
Father of the bride
My uncle
Grooms father
Grooms grandfather
2 ushers

Corsages

Mother of the bride
Grooms mum
Grooms step mum
Grooms Nana
Grooms grandma
Brides aunt

NaturalBornWoman · 22/05/2019 21:14

I think it makes the mums feel special to have a small thing but don't let them choose!!

Depends on the Mum I guess. I wouldn't have worn one.

happymummy12345 · 23/05/2019 08:47

We gave them to all guests as we wanted everyone to have a flower.
Double red roses for groom best man and father of bride. Single red rose for ring bearer. Corsages for both mums. And carnations for everyone else. (Obviously except bride and bridesmaid who had bouquets and flower girl who had a basket)

Disfordarkchocolate · 23/05/2019 08:50

We got them for the whole guest list but only because it was such a small wedding it would have looked odd leaving a very few people out. I think what you've done is fine.

Bishalisha · 23/05/2019 09:45

We did button holes for groom, best men, DS and Dad, also bridesmaids, and mums- as there wasn’t any coordinated outfits and they were go to people- so it made identifying them easier

Original poster
StillWould · 23/05/2019 13:04

Thanks for everyones help. I am going to get a corsage for my mum as she would love one but will otherwise stick with the original plan.

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