Should I send save the dates?

[flamed12]

Wedding is in one year (just under) approx 100 guests (probably less and many in couples/family).

This may be an old fashioned view but unless I was first degree family I would not arrange my life 12 months ahead around someone else's wedding and I find the assumption presumptuous. If we were free 8 weeks ahead we'd accept, if not we wouldn't but we would send a generpus gift. The thing is a good friend may send a save the date and that date may then be nabbed by a niece or godchild, etc., and that would have to trump it.

Only to core people that you are
a) definitely definitely going to invite to the whole event
b) would be devastated if they couldn't come

Not to Auntie Joan's second cousin who might get cut if budgets tighten.

I did because with two exceptions, everyone we invited we wanted to be there if they could. Think we sent them about 10 months ahead.

I would (and did) send save the dates! Timeframe wise depends on a few factors - is it over a bank holiday weekend or in the school holidays? As this may make it harder for friends and family to book it off/get cheap accommodation if needed.

IIRC we sent ours 6-8months before hand as we had friends and family coming from all parts of the UK so some forward planning was needed.

Yes. We did for day guests. Some of my guests live few hours away and we wanted to make sure they had plenty of notice so they could arrange accommodation if needed.

I have to book time off six months ahead, so by the time wedding invites appear I often can't get leave (and frequently work weekends), so save the dates are a godsend. I'd suggest sending them in January when everyone gets new calendars! But make sure you keep a list of who you've sent them too and definitely invite them to the wedding!

You should only give STDs to those people who you would really miss if they couidn't attend.

You don't need to buy overpriced special stationery for this - you can tell everyone when next you write to them (on ordinary paper or by email) or are speaking to them. Because if they regally are your nearest and dearest, you'll be in touch reasonably often anyhow.

I sent save the dates to all my guests. I would love them all there. It’s a bank holiday weekend and school holidays. I sent them out 13months in advance. I like getting STDs as I need to book my annual leave months and months, over a year often in advance

Yes to 'core' people. Ours was in school summer hols so wanted people to know.

We didn't - we organised the wedding in well under a year anyway - but we did send invitations 'early' by traditional etiquette standards, I think we sent them in around Feb for a July wedding. I think 8 weeks is far too little notice for people to make arrangements and book accommodation if necessary, so I think either save the dates then invitation fairly shortly before, or just invitation but with a good few months' notice.

Like other posters ours is during the summer holidays so sent STDs out just over a year in advance. Mostly to family, family friends, and the bridal party. I would say though be sure of your guest list, and that you've thought of all the family you intend to invite.

We had different ones for all day and the 'evening celebration'.

We just got a photo of ourselves, overlaid the image with text about date and location and had them printed as matt 6 x 4 photo prints. No need to spend money on a magnet! I think the lot was printed for less than a tenner, and for family abroad we sent the image with the text over whatsapp.

Also agree that 8 weeks is far too little notice for the proper invites. We have to have paid per head in full with the caterer 6 weeks before.

We sent ours a year in advance but only to those that were invited to the whole day.

I went to quite a high end shop to look at invites (didnt buy them from there in the end) and the lady said it is not 'customary' (cant think of another word haha) to send to those who will just be invited to the evening.

@Mummyme87
I like getting STDs
This made me laugh

We sent out save the date texts to the people who are most important and we know they are all available to come. The invitation is just a formality for them as they are our closest friends and family.

We sent them 15 months ahead and this was primarily driven by the fact our wedding was on the easter weekend and we had at least a third of our guests travelling from Europe and North America, so we wanted to give them as much notice as possible.
They weren't pricey at all. Think the whole batch was about £20 on vistaprint. Just send them to day guests though. If you are having evening guests then a normal invite would suffice 3 months prior to the event.

We've had them for overseas weddings, otherwise just send the actual invites out 5-6 months prior. Tell key people by phone or email

Yes don’t send save the date cards to people you only intent to invite to the evening do, if you’re having one. We’ve had one of those

You should only give STDs to those people who you would really miss if they couldn't attend.

I really can't condone any advice to give anyone a STD - it really isn't nice you know

You don't need to buy overpriced special stationery for this {Save the Dates} - you can tell everyone when next you write to them (on ordinary paper or by email) or are speaking to them. Because if they regally are your nearest and dearest, you'll be in touch reasonably often anyhow.

This ^

The problem with a Save the Dates is it gives you no idea who might actually say yes. How does that help you and planning?

If you are intending on having a wedding that requires travel for guests more than a a couple of hours and an over night stay, I would just send invites. A definite time, place and venue is easier to accept or decline.
The wedding is Easter next year I take it? I’d send invites out at the end of August. RSVPs before end if of October. Second wave of invites out and back before a Christmas. Gives you three months to sort final numbers and catering.

If it’s local wedding and more feasible guests can go without putting themselves out then Save the Dates are fine. They announce the wedding and you can do invites 3 months before the dates.

We've sent save the dates over a year before because we're getting married during the summer holidays, on the other side of the country from where half the guests live, and not inviting kids, so I want everyone to have plenty of notice.

One couple have already booked their accommodation

I would also welcome a save the date as early as possible. There are 5 of us and the calendar gets booked up early. I think families often book holidays a year in advance too....so if it was a close family member I would want to make sure I could definitely come. As a guest I need to know where it's going to be held so I can think about travel and accommodation. You also need to name those who will be invited...be clear if it's for my kids too.

As a bride I don't need to know if you can come at that point... It's for the guests benefit. Rsvp only needs to happen when proper invite with all details is sent.

But user1474894224 If it gives you the date and venue and the names of all those invited....that’s an invite?
What’s the point of STD’s?

Well my save the date had the date and location of the wedding. My invite had a sheet in with exact timings....a plan of the day, a list of local information: hotels, parking, playparks for the kids etc I didn't expect a response to the save the date. I did expect a confirmed yes or no to the invite. Our wedding is next bank holiday and was arranged in December. So save the date came out the second we booked and could work out numbers. The invite came once we had actually had it printed, worked out caterers, bars, kids entertainment etc and also once I'd had time to get it printed. We had some people say no to save the date which meant others could recieve an invite. And also a few who said yes to save the date but when it got closer they have declined the invite. And thats ok as save the date was just for information.

user Good luck with up coming wedding - nearly there Hope the day goes really well.!

Op can do what she wants obviously. My engagement was last Chrudtmas. After a quick look at local options we went for a destination wedding in October of that year. So 10 months.
We found a venue and restaurant in Feb and sent detailed invites from NotOnTheHighStreet in early March with a RSVP of two months.
I sent an email with further stuff we had planned to those who were definitely coming, in early September.

I found people did want they wanted regardless of what I told them frankly. People who want to come do and those in two minds don’t. We had a friend who I said “ yeah just come” and she bought a plane ticket a week before!