Are small/intimate weddings shit?

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Partner and I have been together 15 years, we have one daughter aged two. We've decided to get married but neither of us is into the idea of a big doo.

When we got down to who we'd actually genuinely want there, it is a grand total of 12 people. Immediate family and best friends only.

We just want a simple ceremony (not in a church) and then a nice meal. Job done.

Is that quite sad and pathetic for a wedding??

I had one. Most people cried at the ceremony because it was so intimate and lovely. We were able to spend proper time with every guest and feed them a really delicious a la carte meal. It was wonderful knowing we were surrounded by people who truly loved us. It was perfect.

Sounds perfect xx

Mine was small. 17 in total including me and DH. Was great! Immediate family only. Got to spend plenty of time with everyone. Everyone still talks about it as they really enjoyed themselves.

Best bit was all the money we didn’t have to spend.

I did both last year, Had a tiny registry office one and then a bigger ( but still smallish in France).
I was expected our not at all glamorous registry office to be shit and a bit stiff and formal without all the flowers and dress and hoopla.. Complete opposite. Brilliant registrar who saw that it was just us and went to town. Very special and best of all without all the fuss, very memorable.
Had a brilliant time in France too but I hardly remember much of the ceremony as it all went very quickly and I had in the back of my mind a “ to do “ list including talking to people, making the speech, checking the vegetarian meals were ordered, changing shoes, remembering stuff to take later...
Small weddings are great. Really underestimated and probably the future after years of excessive ones that drag everyone down.

I hope not as we've just booked ours. We are having it at a beautiful hotel in the Cotswolds just 20 of our nearest and dearest (including the children). We will have the ceremony there then food and drinks. Should be done & dusted by 6pm. My friend looked at me like I had 2 heads for not having a party. We don't want it though, we just want something small but special. God I hope it'll be nice!

We had 30 people all day including us. Was still as traditional as we could make it, but without loads of people there. I loved it.

Thanks everyone. I feel much better now.

The only weddings I've ever been to have been the huge extravagant ones with hundreds of people and it just seemed so overwhelming! I'd hate that.

I want the marriage, not the wedding. So hoping to keep it as simple as possible. Registry office and a quick burger and a pint in Wetherspoons would do me, but he isn't keen

Second marriage for us both. We both had the big white wedding before. Like you though I want to be married to him, the day is secondary to that.

Mine wasn’t.

10 guests, minister was a good friend then lunch in a Michelin star restaurant. Loved it.

Sounds perfect. Wish we were doing that to be honest!

I hope they’re not shit, we’ll be 36 (and I would’ve been happy with even less)

Just done the same. 12 people including us for the ceremony a week ago. We had a village hall type party this weekend with a buffet and disco for friends and wider family though.

It’s just different to a big wedding, not worse. Like a dinner party is different to a house party.

I’ve seen a couple of really lame-looking big weddings (used to do silver service). But I can imagine some small weddings are a bit sad too. Equally I know people who have had lovely small intimate weddings, and lovely massive weddings. Totally depends on what you want.

But they ARE different - if you want a first dance and speeches etc, and a procession down the aisle with bridesmaids, you probably want at least 30-50 people. A first dance in front of ten people would be a bit forlorn, as would processing down an empty aisle.

There were 12 people at my wedding. It was perfect and wouldn't change a thing other than to walk more slowly down the aisle because we missed a lot of the song!

It was in a really lovely restaurant/hotel. In the restaurant afterwards we had a large table that was closed off so like private dining and it opened up onto the terrace which looked onto the beach.

DH and I got married with randoms for witnesses, and no guests. It was perfect.

We had 20 people (basically closest family and their DPs) at a simple venue that was very meaningful to both of us, then we all went for a meal at a nice restaurant. It was utterly lovely. Everyone had a lovely day. I wouldn't change a thing

It sounds lovely