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Original poster

Just the bride and groom?

15 replies

poppym12 · 22/04/2019 18:28

We've decided to get married soon. It's not exactly a snap decision as we've been engaged for 11 or 12 years but never felt any need or urgency to get the official paperwork until now.

Has anyone got married where there were just the two of you, witnesses and registrar? Our local registry office no longer officiates marriages apparently so we need to find somewhere else but where?

OP posts:
Windygate · 22/04/2019 18:32

My aunt and uncle did this. Paid two staff at the registry office to be witnesses. Told close family straight after then we had a lovely summer party some weeks later.

Subtledifference · 22/04/2019 18:35

I work in a Register Office, we get quite a few with just the couple and witnesses, some just don't want any fuss, others are avoiding family getting over involved etc. Recently had a couple who had been together 55 years and people just assumed they were married but weren't so it was being kept secret. If a couple approaches us about witnesses we direct them to one of the local charity shops, a few of the ladies there are happy to come down to witness and just ask for a small donation to the charity. Sometimes it's the really small weddings that get you a bit more choked up Smile

LocksMyth · 22/04/2019 18:43

Yes.
It divided family members. It was a lovely day and what we wanted but forever tainted by the fallout.

Original poster
poppym12 · 22/04/2019 18:55

I'm sorry to hear that locks. We've both been married before and each have one grown up offspring (19 /20) who are busy with their own respective lives.

Partner is low contact with his family, I lost my DM at Christmas and my other family have always presumed I'd elope / get married abroad.

I'm thinking I'd rather no one else was there rather than getting into who may think they should be invited as it really will be just an official thing, no photographer, flowers etc.

OP posts:
LocksMyth · 22/04/2019 19:10

I think if it is what you want, then go fit it. We did.
I have no family and he didn't want his there. His caused the fuss afterwards..

user1474894224 · 22/04/2019 19:11

Absolutely do it....if that's what you want. Maybe a registry office in a local town can help instead.

Mum4Fergus · 29/04/2019 21:27

DH and I married July last year, just the 2 of us with Registrar and 2 witnesses. Best day ever, don't regret a thing x

RainbowMum11 · 29/04/2019 21:36

I can totally understand this.
However my Dad did it when I was 8 - didn't tell me or any other family until after. I will never forgive him - I'd been staying with them until the day itself too. No other DC either side at the time either, just me, who had been asking to be bridesmaid since I was told they were together.

Singleandproud · 29/04/2019 21:42

I think if I was in your position and providing you all get along I would make it very clear to offspring what I was intending to do but let them know they were welcome if they wanted to witness it.

My parents got married like this just 6 weeks after they met just my Gran and a staff member from the registry office as witnesses and have been maried 35 years. They got their wedding photos done in a black and white photo booth in Woolies.

Eustasiavye · 03/05/2019 15:38

We are doing this in secret. Just taking 2 very close friends to the registry office. We are then having a small wedding abroard. The reason we are legally marrying g in the UK is because it is very complicated to get married in our chosen destination.
Also to have an "official" wedding we have to visit the municipal office and they only work on one day a week. Unfortunately we have discovered that on the date we would be there, the office is closed because it is close to an official holuday!
So we are having a ceremony abroard with guests but will have made it legal here without all the guests.

Eustasiavye · 03/05/2019 15:41

Op
Can you go to another registry office?
You will have to give notice in the district where you live, but can then go to another district to get married.

stucknoue · 03/05/2019 15:44

Look around the country and pick somewhere for a couple of nights away including getting married, often officials working there act as witnesses or you could ask people on the street (or someone asked here on Mumsnet!) Oxford registry office used to be nice as was Paignton (both a while back admittedly)

TemporaryPermanent · 03/05/2019 15:53

Oxford register office isn't beautiful at all, though not actively ugly (like, say, Newport IOW).

TemporaryPermanent · 03/05/2019 15:58

Agree with picking a honeymoon destination and going with the register office there. Harrogate looks nice.

Namaste6 · 03/05/2019 17:27

If it's what you want OP, go for it. Those who love you will understand and be nothing but happy for you. One life and all that......

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