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Am I being unreasonable

7 replies

Misschipmunk · 03/03/2019 18:20

lengthy post Hi, so I’m in need of some advice/ help. Basically I’m getting married and my bridesmaids who I’ve been close with for 10 years+ 3 of them have started ignoring me. I’ve paid for absolutely everything for them down to the clothing, food, Jewelery , flowers, hair and makeup etc, I have 8 bridesmaid and have spend more than £300 each on them. They got to pick their own dresses and shoes because I didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable on the day. So fast forward dresses have been purchased but are in need of some alterations Which they knew when I bought them (which also I’m paying for) all 3 have ignored my questions for 4 months and none of them are prepared to try them on to make sure their right before the big day, ignoring my phone calls and texts, making up excuses all the time and when they do call they avoid the question about when their going to try them (I have been working around everyone’s working patterns too) It’s got to the point now the seamstress has said she won’t have time to alter them if needed by the wedding. I’ve planned the whole thing myself and paid for everything the only thing I’ve ever asked of my bridesmaids is to try their shoes and dresses on to make sure they fit. They also get to tell the hair and makeup artist what they would like (I’m honestly not fussed aslong as their comfortable). I feel as if they have no respect for me as a friend especially the amount of money it’s cost me and I didn’t even get a ‘thankyou’ off 2 of them. After this one of the girls who ignored me then asked me if her new guy she’d been dating for 2 weeks could come along, I explained everything was paid for and I couldn’t afford a spare seat at its £90 a head (for all day) she then started getting a bit funny with me telling me everyone else partner was going (they’ve been together years) and told me she wasn’t happy I couldn’t spare another £90 for him. Baring in mind I have no idea who he is and it’s my special day?! Sorry for the long post I just don’t know whether I’m getting overwhelmed with everything or whether their just being idiots! My hubby to be has told me ditch them as bridesmaids and is quite furious at the moment as he says I’ve just chucked money down the drain . I have tried talking to them but they have a no care attitude which isn’t like them usually . Help please

OP posts:
Muffin3 · 03/03/2019 22:08

No yanbu! They don’t sound much like friends if they can’t even try on a dress for you. How far away is the wedding and have they helped with any wedding planning etc?

I would text/ring ask them outright if they actually want to be bridesmaids as they are being so difficult with you

Misschipmunk · 03/03/2019 22:31

I know this is the thing they’ve always stuck to plans and have never let me down in 10 years, wedding is in 2 weeks . I’ve had no help with the wedding planning as we knew what we wanted so me and hubby done it together. The only thing they have done is pick their dress, hair and makeup style which I left them to chose so they would be comfy. I’m going to take your advice and ask them outright . Thankyou

OP posts:
footballcrazy11 · 05/03/2019 09:21

How did you get on? what a dreadful situation for you. If they don't step up cancel their hair and make up and save some money and get married without them. They are not acting like true friends.

Bookworm4 · 05/03/2019 09:23

2 weeks and they won't try on the dresses? Ditch them.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 05/03/2019 09:28

I would ditch them too. But I wouldn’t even be decent enough to let them know. I would just ignore them when they eventually do get in touch the way they’ve ignored you. They’re not your friends.

Wakk · 05/03/2019 10:01

Ditch them all.

user1473878824 · 03/07/2019 23:11

OP how did it go?!

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