AIBU to be annoyed about 'outfit' costs?

[thecatsthecats]

This is inspired by a message from a friend, and her invite, but posing a more general question really, as I see this on threads a lot and it always irks me.

Friend is getting married and has asked in the invites that women wear hats. Not a problem for me, I have a hat, goes with everything, and I've had it for a few weddings and wouldn't mind buying a new one. Might be harder for those who don't want or can't afford one.

We were talking about dresses, and she sent me links to ones that might suit her wedding - £150!

My AIBU is - you often see people saying attending weddings expensive, because of:

Travel - mandatory, obviously
Accommodation - sometimes mandatory
Gift - I'd always like to give at least something

But then you get to... new outfit?!? And I raise my eyebrows. Because aside from my slightly zilla friend (whole other thread), surely nobody DEMANDS that someone wear a new outfit to every wedding? Sure, it might be nice to wear a new outfit, and obviously it's understandable that you might need a new one because of weight loss/gain etc.

But on the other hand, who gives a fig if you wear something new or not to a wedding? I didn't care whether dresses had been worn before or not at my wedding - in fact I told my mum not to be silly and feel free to wear what she wore to my sisters! I don't think it's 'fair' somehow to lump this in as a 'wedding expense' when it's more about what you think/feel like than the happy couple.

Just an idle AIBU really - AIBU to think this? Or AIBU to wear the same outfit to different weddings?

You don't need an 'outfit' just some clothes you can wear for best.

She probably thinks she's helping a friend by sending links of clothes to consider - I wouidn't read too much in to that or the price point (I'd be aghast at someone sending that sort of info unsolicited to the whole guest list, but that's not what's happening here)

Margunally pushy to ask for hats, but o many people wear them anyhow it also sounds like stating the bloody obvious. Oodles of hats in charity shops, so not difficult to find an inexpensive one.

If yiunreally cannot afford Sunday Best or Wedding Smart lotyes, then just scrub upmas best younhcan. Your hosts may well know or suspect your circumstances and no one with any manners at all would think, let alone say, anything critical

Ha - for SO many reasons, I know that she will whinge each and every woman who doesn't wear a hat. She is the queen of unreasonable.

(FWIW, she does have her good points, and I don't accept any nonsense from her that's directed at me - not that it ever is!)

Like I say, I don't have a problem dressing nicely or buying new outfits.

My annoyance is when people talk about it as an obligatory wedding expense - I think brides like my friend are the minority, not the norm!

I’ve not known any brides to dictate clothes for guests outside the wedding party, that’s crazy. I’d have no qualms wearing the same outfit twice but would enjoy the excuse of buying a new outfit but then again I rarely get invited to any weddings!

Good grief hardly anyone wears hats to weddings any more! Even my mum has stopped

It doesn’t sound like a very healthy friendship...

... misses point of thread

I don't think you need a whole new outfit for a wedding, I certainly don't buy new things every time, I just have a few nice, smart dresses and shoes in rotation. Asking everyone to wear hats is BU though!

I love a hat but wouldn't buy a new outfit for a wedding unless I needed to. I've got a couple of 'good' outfits which rarely get an outing as it is!

It doesn’t sound like a very healthy friendship...

What can I say, I'm the master of boundaries . My MIL met her at our wedding and said she was lovely and I was annoyed, because IMO, you have to EARN the right to like this woman, and have no right to do so from a first impression!

She's an old school friend. She's a categoric diva. She's a tiger for her friends. We are very VERY similar on the big life and social values, and poles apart on ephemera. It works for us.

This is hilarious. I have actually heard of brides insisting guests wear all black and white, which is also ridiculous, but insisting on a new outfit or £150 dresses is definitely not on. Did she definitely say has to be new or are you just hearing it that way?