Wedding reception woes...

[DameBurleyChassis]

I’m having a tiny wedding in April this year. Everything has happened pretty quickly, engaged at the end of November and wedding day is 29 April.

I didn’t want anything big so we’re getting married in a registry office and then going somewhere close by for an afternoon tea & cocktails type thing with our 15 guests.

We’ve picked a bit of a hipster bakehouse with an amazing menu and a private courtyard with our own servers, but they’re saying they can’t do a set menu or similar for us so our guests will basically just be given a menu and told to order.

I’m finding the whole r3ception / party part really stressful as I’m not close to my family and am mainly inviting them out of duty. My DP cares more about having something after the ceremony so I’ve left much of the organising to him. There will be 5 kids attending, all very picky eaters which played a big part in our choice of venue.

I’m just worried that people might find this a bit weird and not sure how to make it a wee bit more special.

Should I take this on myself and find somewhere new or do you have any ideas how I could maybe work with the place to get something more weddingy?

It’s quite normal for a selection of menu choices to be sent out with the invites so you could ask people what they want to eat and to let you know with the RSVPs, then you can order those for them beforehand so the bakehouse can prepare.

I agree send out your choice of menu items. Doesn’t actually have to be the whole menu. Then pre-order.

I’d thought of that and also about picking a selection of stuff from the menu and getting our own wee mini menus printed.

The place has daily specials which are apparently not planned very far in advance but having eaten in there many times, I know they’re always outstanding.

Thank you, I know it’s such a simple solution but I’m starting to lose any sense of perspective as I absolutely hate hosting big groups and am becoming quite anxious about it all.

Sounds fab, stop worrying about it your wedding is about you two and no one else.

Just pre-order for your guests as if it were a set menu or as pp's have suggested send menu with invites.

If it's any consolation I specifically chose my wedding reception at a venue where everyone could order their own meal, I though this was much more special then then having to pick the ubiquitous menu for my guests.

really? That could be a bit of a game changer! I want it to be special but low key and minimal effort for me

Am pretty surprised that a venue won't take a booking, knowing in advance what they will be serving - that would actually make things a lot easier for them .
Personally, I would make some initial enquiries at one or two other places, (to confirm they would be happy to take an afternoon tea booking for a private room for 17 people), and then go back to your venue of choice and ask again if they will take your booking as you want it, or if you should go somewhere else.

Yeah I thought it odd too. When we made our original enquiry they said they could do something bespoke but when it came to actually booking, they said it would just be the normal menu.

I’m thinking I’ll need to just deal with it myself - could do without it but maybe the possibility of losing our booking might make them reconsider

I would love to pick my own meal on the day. It sounds far more special.

I went to a restaurant for my reception, we had to order of the menu but I just sent everyone the menu before and they chose. I worked out really nicely and everyone enjoyed the food and had exactly what they liked. It was very relaxed and enjoyable.

This is encouraging. I’m clearly worrying over nothing.

Thanks all!