How to repsond politely to "are you going to have kids"

[PastaCake]

Hi, firstly my apologies if this is the wrong place to post this.

I've been warned that people often ask the bride and groom about future plans to have children. It's a painful subject for me and I don't want to talk about it especially not on my wedding day! How can I respond to this question politely without making a big deal about it?

Hmm, I wouldn't say I don't make a big deal of it, but my usual go to is:
"Haha, do people really ask questions like that these days?"

It isn't a "meek" response, but since I have no issues there (touch wood - untested), I try to fly the flag for teaching people sensitivity. Better them feel embarrassed than some poor sod have a sore spot touched.

Honestly on your wedding day I’d go with something light rather than trying to educate “not today!” With a tinkly laugh. Or “wait and see!” Something that doesn’t really turn it into a conversation.

I agree with the above, brush it off. If they persist ask lightly, “Why do you ask?”

Don’t be afraid to leave a silence.

If they say, “Just curious” or similar then say vaguely, “Ahhhh.”

“Ah” is my standard response to the occasional rude comment that seems to require a response. Just be polite, friendly, but above all VAGUE. Nobody has ever persisted after that!

"Hold your horses, we've only just got married!"

I don't think it's appropriate to be polite to such questions. people need to be embarrassed about asking such intrusive and likely-to-be-hurtful questions.

everyone, not just those for whom it is an upsetting, should start reacting to such questions with a look of shocked dismay, with the same level of disapproval as if they had just asked you about something intimate about your sex life or defecation habits. and just say "Isn't it universally understood that its just crass and tactless to ask questions like that?".

I get that you don't want to cause a quarrel with aunty Gladys on your wedding day but people don't learn if they aren't told.

"We enjoy going swinging too much, it'd be a bit difficult with a baby bump. We're waiting a while"

Thanks everyone, very good ideas. I'm not sure I'm brave enough for the humour technique as I'm not sure of the other family's sense of humour. I shall practice the vague ahhing and I like @thecatsthecats reply. I think both would work depending who was asking. Then I'll just change the subject and ask if they have any holidays planned.

"Gosh what a personal question! You'll be asking me how much I earn next!"

And end of subject.

@Fiddle another good response to add to the collection thank you. Maybe with a little laugh and only if they persist after the initial lighter response.

How about ' I'm sure you're trying to be nice, but please let me enjoy my day ' then walk off

Some different takes on the old mn classic, ("did you mean to be so rude?")

"why are you asking me such a personal question?"

Or

"Do you always ask such personal questions?"

Said with a smile and laugh.

Puts it back on them and maybe they'll think twice next time.

I would say ‘no idea’ laugh and change the subject. People are often rude but mostly because they don’t think about what they are saying, I find.

On your wedding day I don't think anyone would ask? But if they did I would say.. 'ah I think I have enough work for the moment with himself' change subject..

Ask elderly relatives if they plan to die soon!

Extremely rude

If I had a penny for the number of times I've had this conversation and (eventually, luckily) when are you having another, I'd be v rich!

Seriously; weddings are not a time for deep and meaningful so just go for the hold your horses / who knows / ah! Type response!

Eventually when my daughter was about 6 I started to say "took long enough to have the one I've got" etc and that shut people up but I had to steel myself for it!

I used to answer 'who knows', because you just don't, ever.

People will only be trying to make conversation. Just say 'just got married today, haven't even had sex yet' or something. No need to try and make the other person feel bad on your wedding day. They will just be trying to talk about something they think you may be interested in, just talking about your future life together seeing as it is your wedding day. It is a topic best avoided but nobody would say it if they thought it would upset you. Chances are nobody will say it. I don't think anybody said it to me ever and I have never asked anybody this on their wedding day or heard anybody else ask it. Just enjoy your wedding.

"No we're really into anal at the moment"

There's no need to reply politely when people are being very impolite by asking

"are you saying I look fat?" - works a treat...

'We've got to deal with the sexual dysfunction first'
'When the moon is green and the stars are pink'
'Mind your own business'

In the first year or so after my wedding people kept saying 'how's married life' in the most inane way, drove me crazy. Like, what do you want to know about? Money? Sex? Housekeeping? You didn't ask about any of those things before!