Advice on bridesmaids

[Thinkcalmthoughts]

Getting married next year summer 2020
When my fiance proposed last Xmas first thing my daughter said was i want to be one of the bridesmaids which she was going to be anyway I then picked a good friend of mine and my fiance' s and choose one of my closest friends to be head bridesmaid which she was over the moon about.
Now I need advice from you lovely mumset people on this

She suffers from anexity and has recently told me she's getting tested for rhemothoid arthritis and possibly PTSD

When i asked her she was ok with everything then she said a month or two late she was worried in case she ruins anything as at the point was struggling to get out of the house and when she did someone had to be with her. Spoke to her the other day there and that when she said about the other things. I'm now in doubt if she can handle the duties of head bridesmaid and be there for fittings of the dresses etc

Fiance reckons I should either see if she could cope better with being a bridesmaid and make our other pal head bridesmaid or just have my daughter as bridesmaid and our pal as head bridesmaid and hope that she comes to the whole wedding as a guest

I feel so bad and guilty but thought this might give her something to focus on etc

Any ideas on what to do?

Talk to her. She's one of your best mates. Tell her you're concerned you've added to her stress and if she feels you have to just let you know. Depending on how that goes depends on the next bit of the chat....is she happy - if so great, would she rather just be 'a bridesmaid' if so great, would she rather decide closer to the time when she knows how she feels....etc etc. What exactly do you expect 'head' bridesmaid to do for you? Can you just sort that yourself?

What is a “ head bridesmaid” anyway? I had a matron of honour but she did less due to personal circumstances than my two younger bridesmaids.
It’s as complicated as you make it. I organised my own hen do ( so much easier than giving lists of names to other people) and bought high street dresses online that they could all try on at home.
We had what looked like a very expensive wedding without half the fuss.To be fair the multi million pound villa and stunning destination helped with that bit!

Head bridesmaid or ‘just a bridesmaid’.... is there really a difference?
Dress fittings yes may be a problem but that makes no difference which bridesmaid she is. Otherwise I’m not sure what their duties are really. Mine all live all over the country so will be coming to try on some dresses then turning up the day or 2 before 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd just ask what she's comfortable with and let her know there's no pressure and if she's rather just be a guest that's fine and you won't mind.

All I know is there's differences you have bridesmaids then maid of honour etc or head bridesmaid brothers wedding was a maid if honour then bridsmaids and if I'm correct the top one helps with the organising of hen do as always thought that was the hens job not the bride must be different everywhere then

Does it matter?

You and other bridesmaid can arrange stuff

She can keep her title as you’ve given her that? God know why!!

Let her rock up in a dress and be a good friend

I really don’t think titles matter, not innuk anyhow