Midweek wedding vs asking wedding party to pay for rooms

[greenybluey]

60 guests can stay the wedding venue.
We can afford to either: pay for everyone's stay and have the wedding on a weekday (but it can't be a Friday) or have the wedding on a weekend and ask for a contribution from everyone staying £80-100 per room.
We have to pay for the venue and the accommodation up front.
We initially thought we would ask for a contribution only from those staying who are not part immediate family/ wedding party, but due to DPs huge family most of the rooms would be taken by them, and we can't afford to do it if that many people to stay for free.
Even just the bridesmaids and groomsmen partners take up 12 rooms (yes wedding party numbers are excessive due to aforementioned big families!) which is almost half the accommodation.

The wedding is a few hours away from most guests as we live hours away from where we each grew up and our families are both scattered around the UK. This means if we did it midweek most guests would have to take 2 days off work (or get up incredibly early to drive back in time for work)

I thought best option was to have it at weekend and ask people to pay for the rooms but stress that people don't have to stay if they don't want to. But people will have to pay for some sort of accommodation as barely any of the guests are local. I feel bad about about that but our close ones are based all over the place so there is no location particularly convenient.

I spoke to my bridesmaids about it and they implied it might be a problem to ask for money for the rooms. I've been to lots of weddings recently and most of the time I've had to take a day off work and pay for a hotel, so I didn't think it would be a problem.
It's not like we are demanding everyone comes to the Bahamas for it.
What would you prefer - having to pay for hotel or having to take 2 days off work?

I went to a wedding where the rooms were double the cost of the premier inn nearby. I would have paid the higher price for convenience but they got snapped up. Just give guests the option. As a pp said you may have a few to spare so be prepared but I'll bet there are plenty who would be willing to stay purely for the benefit of a little nap before the evening starts.

There's a pretty good choice of other places to stay. And there's no location more convenient really. We have family in the north and the south. This venue is close to us and the almost equidistant between the various parts of the family so neither part of the family has to come really really far and another doesn't have to travel if you see what I mean.
I thought I'd done incredibly well finding somewhere in the middle that. An accommodate many of the guests on site. When I go to wedding I love staying on site as it means you can relax and get pissed without having to worry about the taxi not coming and you being stranded in the middle of nowhere

Bride and grooms never pay for accommodation do they?

Just book it! I hate when I've stuffed myself silly and there is the lull before the evening party. As I said I happily pay a premium to have the pleasure of a lie down. Also there is nothing nicer than going to bed without a drive or taxi.

I'd never expect bride and groom to pay for my accommodation!
Weekday weddings are touted as saving money but in reality they're a huge pain in the bum for all your guests and with leave etc it just shifts the cost onto them.

Weekend wedding would be my choice. To be honest unless you were a sibling/best friend I would be missing your wedding if it was midweek.

I would have no issue paying my own accomdation (I like to escape to my room for a break from the noise every once and a while). As you said there are other options nearby for people who do not want to stay at the venue.

I don't think wedding guests ever expect their accommodation to be covered. Perhaps there is a misunderstanding here and your bridesmaids are expexting their rooms to be covered because they are part of the bridal party. For example i had 3 bridesmaids and paid for their rooms the night before the wedding (we had an early start the next day) but they paid for their accommodation the night of the wedding. I would honestly plough on with a weekend wedding but as someone else has suggested be prepared you might have to add the cost of any unoccupied rooms to your budget. It sounds though like the cost is very reasonable so i would be surprised if people opt for.the travel lodge instead.

I certainly don't expect a room to be paid for but would want to have the option of staying where I wanted (there may be somewhere cheaper or nicer) or just going home if it's close enough. I've stayed at people's wedding hotels sometimes but never been compelled to do so by the bride and groom. While lots of people probably will want to stay there you can hardly insist that they do or plan your wedding around this.

I would not expect for my room to be paid for, even as a member of the wedding party but I would expect to have the choice of finding alternative accommodation (when dh was best man at a wedding we took our touring caravan down to a local site).

I wouldn't expect my room to be paid for even if I was one of the wedding party but I also wouldn't want to be told that I had to stay there.

Personally I wouldn't have booked a venue where they expected you to pay for the accommodation upfront. I'd want to pay for the wedding and let guests make their own arrangements about accommodation if they want it.

I only get 25 days of annual leave, so you would have to be a very close friend / relative for me to use my precious leave. I have no issue paying to stay somewhere for a wedding. I would be very surprised if the bride and groom were paying.

We're getting married at a large country hotel on a Saturday. So far no one has niggled about paying to stay over. They don't have to come if they don't want to

I would never expect to have accomodation paid for by the bride and groom. Those that would be appalled by it obviously mix in very different circles to me.

It sounds like whereever you book people will need to pay for accommodation so why not stay at the venue. Particularly if it comparably priced to the alternatives. Book it.

We had a Sunday wedding- bonfire night but only date for the year available- we paid for immediate families/wedding party rooms and no one else's. We got married in middle of nowhere as well. We thought we'd get mostly no RSVPs but pretty much everyone came! I wouldn't worry if people want to be at your wedding they will be x

Our venue cost £60pp for Fri-Mon accomodation, and most were very pleased with it. Except the odd CF who 'booked' through us and still haven't paid.

(and yes, I feel fully entitled to say that - we fed everyone all weekend, free bar all weekend, and they didn't give a gift or help out with anything as others did - they'd have been worse off for the weekend if they stayed home ffs!)

I am getting married in 18 months and if people want to stay over where we are getting married they can and it will be out of their pocket. If they don't want to they don't have to and can drive/taxi back. We have paid for exclusivity of the venue so if they dont get booked they stay empty. Its about 45 minute drive. We are paying for everything including a free bar so not one person has moaned :D If you have to pay for any of the rooms that arent taken and cant afford it unfortunately you cant put that on your guests so I would find a different venue that you can afford!

100% have it at the weekend, make clear there's no obligation to stay at the venue and make clear there are other alternatives (travel lodge etc).

Guarantee you you'll fill 90% of the rooms easy. If anyone can't afford it they'll politely decline the whole invite - anyone who kicks off at paying £80 for a hotel room is a bit of a knob imo. It's not like they get nothing in return they get a bed for the night!!!