Different hotel to wedding party AIBU?

[CherryPie18]

DH is due to be best man at his best friends wedding in 3 weeks time. The wedding is in Spain and we are going for the whole week.

Now the issue is, the whole wedding party is booked to stay at this one particular hotel. We would have had no issues paying for this but because I’m 28 weeks pregnant and have just had to buy a new car without really planning to, it means our finances have taken a short term dent. We have worked out the only way we can still go, without really upsetting anyone too much, is to book into a cheaper hotel 5 minutes away from the current one. By doing this we would be saving £500 which is a big difference.

The bride and groom are apparently ‘distraught’ by our plans. They’ve said we’ve known about it for long enough so should have ensured we had the finances. I think this is completely unreasonable as we haven’t cancelled, and we couldn’t have known we would have to buy a new car last minute. They are very angry and have told everyone else how upset and disappointed they are.

So I just want to know, AWBU??

YANBU-£50/£100 difference I would have absorbed but £500 is massive.

Bride and groom should pay the difference if they are that “distraught”.

No. They are. Disappointed is fine, distraught is ridiculous

Exactly, the £500 once changed up would be the spending money for the week. So a huge difference, I’m honestly not sure what difference it makes having us in the same hotel or not, as all grooms men are staying at the grooms cousins house (he lives out there) the night before the big day etc. Have also checked we are welcome to use the pool of the original hotel, so will be spending day times with them!

Will someone have to pay for your hotel room in the original hotel, even if you don't use it, as the wedding is only 3 weeks away? If the couple have booked rooms for the whole wedding party, is part of the issue that you're saving £500 but they'll end up paying for the cancellation?

I still think 'distraught' is a bit dramatic, when you'll still be there and be spending days with them, etc.

@Morred no, we booked via booking.com so I have until 48 hours before to cancel for free

Ah, fair enough. They are definitely being unreasonable then!

Everyone will know she's being ridiculous, take no notice.

Being pregnant you'd want to escape anyway!

Enjoy a few relaxing days without the crowd

Are you costing the bride and groom a thing?

*anything

@DeusEx No, did the booking ourselves and have 48 hours before we’re due to check in to cancel for free.

Ridiculous - of course you're not being unreasonable - never ceases to amaze me how people organising weddings / hen things etc can't take on board that we all have different financial pressures - if you're adamant you must have things a specific way at your wedding then you must be prepared to stump up . Realistically being 5 minutes away means you can still stay up all night / participate fully etc ( if you wish )

We did this for a wedding recently, stayed in a hotel along the road for £900 less than the wedding hotel - no one minded. We spent most days with the wedding party anyway and at least had the escape on an evening when needed.

YANBU at all!

Really odd!
If they don't pay for whatever it is then it's fine if you do what you can afford.
Why are they going around telling everyone else how upset they are whilst not talking to you about it? Do you think people are exaggerating somewhat?

@QforCucumber £900 less?! Good lord how much did the original hotel cost?!

OP, I was wondering more whether there would be a room in the bridal party hotel that the bride and groom will now have to stump up for because they held it for you? Sorry if I’ve misunderstood your answer.

@DeusEx, No, there has been no cost to them whatsoever as they just told everyone the name of the hotel and everyone dealt with their own bookings. They didn’t get any kind of discount etc

They are being ridiculous. I’d be quite disappointed in my friends if they behaved so badly tbh.

If you can cancel the room in the same hotel as the party without costing anyone anything, then the B&G are being massively unreasonable. Finances change at short notice, particularly when cars die without having the decency to make it obviously they're going to do so in advance (I'm looking at you, Mazda parked outside my house, looking innocent).

I'm astonished that your friends would be so self-preoccupied, even with a wedding. TBH, I don't even understand why they're disappointed. You're still going to the wedding, you'll still be at the party. I know they're your friends, but they sound awfully childish. I'm really quite cross on your behalf, OP!

@DeusEx - wedding was in Cyprus, for 3 of us in cheaper hotel we paid £1900 all inclusive (2 adults and an 18 month old) had we stayed the week in the wedding hotel half board would have been almost 3k!