Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Weddings

Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.

Original poster

Bridesmaid - I hate my dress

11 replies

Brideslave · 21/06/2018 18:22

Background: my sister is getting married in a couple of weeks. My DC (3 & 10 months) are flower girl/ page boy. She has 4 other under 7s in the bridal party.
A few weeks ago she decided to ask me to be bridesmaid as she realised I would be in half the photos anyway with the DC.

So, the dress. It was bought in a bit of a hurry. I didn’t really like it in the shop (post natal body issues mainly) but was told it would be fine once the alterations had been done.
I went for a fitting today. It is awful. The colour washes me out and the shape makes me look 2 dress sizes bigger than I am. I am only a size 8/10 but I look like a big pink barrel (the skirt has thin pleats). My boobs have shrunk since giving up BF last month and so the top gapes horribly - the shop ended up selling us a lace cover up (I am so weak) but if this hot spell continues I am not going to be able to wear it.
My mum and sister just sat there nodding saying that I looked lovely but it was clear to all that I did not.
I just want to find something else; but with the alterations etc the dress has cost a lot of money (I could reimburse) and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

I have to just suck it up and wear it don’t I?

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 21/06/2018 18:28

Would your sister freak and be bridezilla if you had a google and show some dresses you would buy in the colour theme?

If she wouldn't then do so. Worth a try. Otherwise ensure you are hidden at the back in photos with a big grin showing. And change for the evening do if there is one.

sirmione16 · 21/06/2018 18:32

If your sister insists on the dress, it's her wedding essentially. However if she's open to you reimbursing her and simply approving your choice (and you feel you have enough time to do so) then I say why not

AmazingPostVoices · 21/06/2018 18:35

I’m sure you don’t look dreadful at all. Your Mum wouldn’t have let you buy anything awful surely?

But yes, you probably do just have to suck it up.

Flowers
Original poster
Brideslave · 21/06/2018 18:50

I’m not sure how my sister would react - I would usually say that she is really relaxed and it would be fine but she is really busy and the wedding is taking up lots of her time.
I am also wary of making it all about me. She was my bridesmaid and just wore what I chose (but she was one of several adult bridesmaids and so the choice was more difficult iyswim?) - maybe it is revenge!
I have looked online and have ordered a few different dresses to try but unless one is amazing I think I will just have to suck it up.
My mum says we look great whatever Grin

OP posts:
LoveInTokyo · 22/06/2018 13:01

How much did the dress cost and what colour is it?

letsallhaveanap · 22/06/2018 13:05

aww its only one day... well not even that but part of one day!
One of my bridesmaids didnt like her dress but it was the same as all the others and she looked lovely in it... but she just wore it anyway as it would have been really odd for her to have a different dress to the rest of the bridesmaids and she looks lovely in the photos...
Im sure your sister does actually think you look good in the dress because who would actively want someone to look a state in their wedding photos? so i doubt it is 'revenge'!!!

Id honestly just wear it to the ceremony and change out of it asap if you hate it

LoveInTokyo · 22/06/2018 13:24

I don't know, as a bride I really didn't want to put my bridesmaids in something they didn't feel good in and I tried to actively involve them in choosing the dresses as much as possible. What I didn't anticipate was how horrible and shapeless a lot of bridesmaids' dresses are, and how difficult it is to find one which isn't pastel (which doesn't suit a lot of people), or (for some reason) navy blue.

We didn't really have the same ideas to begin with, but in the end we managed to find something everyone was happy with. The difficulty with the OP's sister is that she has left it so late. But it shouldn't really be so hard if the OP is the only adult bridesmaid and doesn't have to have the same dress as anyone else.

Sure, it's only one day, but you still want your bridesmaids to feel happy and comfortable.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 22/06/2018 14:02

Can you get a similar one that suits you and say baby spilt their porridge on it?

Joboy · 22/06/2018 17:37

Wear it photos then change as baby was sick . You don't have stay in dress all day .

Original poster
Brideslave · 07/07/2018 14:14

Just to update - the wedding is tomorrow.
I ordered other dresses but none were the right shade ( pale pink) or what my sister was after.
I did contact the lady doing the alterations separately though as this hot weather means I will have to forgoe the cover up and wondered whether she could make a few changes. I picked it up yesterday - she has actually worked a miracle and changed the top of the dress (bandeau) into a sleeveless top (using the cover up material) so I can wear a bra. She has also changed the waist so I no longer look pregnant. My sister is happy with it too - phew!!
The dress was £180 but all the alterations ended up well over that price (I paid for the second lot of changes).
Oh and £45 for a spray tan which makes it look loads better!

OP posts:
Tatapie · 07/07/2018 14:38

Excellent! Alterations are brilliant.
Enjoy the day !

New posts on this thread. Refresh page