Who are you reserving seats for at the ceremony?

[Scribblegirl]

I was always warned you'd fall out with your mum over something about your wedding. Turns out (unsurprisingly) for me, it's my dad who's becoming a FotB-zilla...

We are getting married in a church and the pews fit 5 people each. I'm therefore planning on putting 'reserved' spots on the first two pews for the following people:

My parents
My sister and her boyfriend
Further 4 bridesmaids + 1 bridesmaid's boyfriend (others are single)
His mum
His nan
His best man
Further 3 groomsmen + their 3 girlfriends
My friend who is doing a reading plus her boyfriend

That's it. However, my dad is insistent that we put down reserved spots for all family members - aunties, uncles, cousins, cousin's children etc. It's madness. First off, that's an additional 40 people, meaning literally half the church will be reserved. Secondly, without wanting to sound callous I am so much closer to many of my friends who are attending than my family members, and I resent the fact that because of blood some of our closest friends will be stuck at the back while an auntie I've not seen since a funeral 2 years ago is in the third row. Finally - I'm not saying they can't sit up front! It's first come first served - if they really care that much about getting a seat at the front half of the church they are welcome to turn up early and grab one...

Dad is trying to tell me that this is perfectly normal at weddings if you're doing it properly (which is news to me after the 18 or so I've attended since I hit my late 20s...) I've told him that this isn't happening and he's sulking (plus ça change!) - but I did want to check I wasn't making a horrible faux pas

Did you reserve seating at the church/registry office etc? If so who did you reserve for?

I didn't think you reserved any... I thought people just left the front row free for bridesmaids etc and the rest was a free for all...

Isn't that what the ushers are for - to tell people where to sit?

I think that was the ushers' job iirc.

So, we didn't reserve seats as such, but the ushers were primed to make sure that elderly rellies and close family were "ushered" to the front of the church. We didn't bother with bride & groom's "sides" as dh has a very small family.

It's sort of wedding guest ettiquette though surely that you don't sit right up front and leave those rows for family. Come to think of it, that was also the ushers' job - we didn't have a particularly big wedding and didn't want people to be so polite that they ended up leaving a big gap between the front couple of rows and the rest!

Good point re: the ushers, hadn't thought of that!! To be honest I've never bothered to venture to the front couple of rows at any wedding as I've just automatically assumed it was bridal party/immediate family up there, and I've never been a bridesmaid

Obviously not resentful of my parents and bridal party being up front, and it makes sense for DFiance's nan to be there, especially since his dad's not around any more. I'm more thinking about the extended family, I don't particularly fancy some of our good friends being waved to the back because the front half of the church is all off limits with random cousins I see every few years. We both have big families but bit the bullet with inviting everyone as weddings, christenings and funerals seem to be when we all actually see each other!