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Original poster

Arranging a wedding

23 replies

purplepigs · 14/06/2018 09:18

Hello! I am just wondered when some of you planned your wedding how much interested did your partner pay in the organising and choosing etc? Or did one of you take the lead?

OP posts:
Cliveybaby · 14/06/2018 10:26

Well we are buying a house too, so he is mostly sorting that , and I am mostly sorting the wedding!
About 80% our own "job", and 20% input into the other IYSWIM...
Obviously we both have input into them both, like we chose the house together and he's doing the boring legal stuff, and talked about what sort of food we wanted together, and I sourced it.

Original poster
purplepigs · 14/06/2018 10:30

We have brought the house .... that's all sorted and that was very much a joint thing and same with decorating and furniture - although I do tend to be more the get up and go one out of the two of us. We have chosen a venue and are eagerly waiting to pay the deposit once the deposit is paid it is all on ..... but I talk about it a lot and talk about what I want a lot and they don't my fiancé seems to mention something like hair or shoes every now and then I think it's is when they know I am getting abit down about it all - down isn't the word though as I am not down. I just wish they could be a bit more excited by the whole thing ........

OP posts:
Cliveybaby · 14/06/2018 11:47

I know what you mean... my DP just doesn't care that much about all the small stuff either.
I asked him if he was excited about the wedding, and he said he's looking forward to being married, and a bit nervous about the wedding. neither of us really likes being the centre of attention but I love getting dressed up for a formal do.

Cliveybaby · 14/06/2018 11:48

Try not to let wedding talk take over your life though... if you don't care about flowers/hair/decorations then it's really boring! I have to keep telling myself this for friends as well as DP.

Cliveybaby · 14/06/2018 11:51

The MN wedding board is a good outlet for all the wedding chat :)

welshweasel · 14/06/2018 11:52

We did it all together. But then we only had a 5 month engagement so I needed all the help I could get!

Original poster
purplepigs · 14/06/2018 12:03

I will have a look at the wedding chat - thanks !

OP posts:
Mummyme87 · 14/06/2018 22:32

My OH has intereatnin the big things but not the finer detail

Scribblegirl · 15/06/2018 12:08

DFiance has been surprisingly into it, which has been lovely but has definitely slowed the process down as we've had to consult on every choice rather than me just going for something.

That said, I think he cracked about a week ago and said 'if I'm 100% honest I don't mind on that one - you choose' (favours/table settings/confetti stuff). I'm now getting to take over all the fun stuff without feeling guilty for taking it from him - win/win!

merlotmummy14 · 15/06/2018 23:30

50/50 - we've both written a million and one guest lists together and on our lunch breaks by ourselves. I got approval from him on my dress and he already has his kilt but we would have gone kilt shopping together if it hadn't fit him. I do more of the admin side of it but he comes up with ideas and gives opinions on things. He sent email enquiries to a few venues and has looked at catering menus online. Having never been to a full day wedding before, he was very frustrated to find out a wedding breakfast isn't actually breakfast food. But then our wedding is very laidback - 80 people, parents back garden, bbq, beers and pimms, kids and babies welcome. If it had been a big formal affair he might have been more reluctant to get involved in it however all of his suggestions (e.g. bonfire and fireworks) have been taken on board due to the flexible nature of the wedding.

Nomad86 · 16/06/2018 05:50

We got married 5 months after getting engaged. We were also completely renovating our first house at the same time, going every evening after work to work on the place. I took over the wedding planning entirely and DH dealt with the various workmen and project management. We ran major decisions past each other but in the main, he didn't have a clue about the wedding stuff. He did choose the beer though, that was his job.

FreeMantle · 16/06/2018 07:25

We both have very similar ideas on the wedding, so it's been the case that each of us has done the bits we want.
It also helped that it's abroad so what we can do is limited by logistics.
I have done all of the finding ; ceremony site, reception, celebrant and invitations.
He has organised the legal ceremony here, flights for the main party and I sent him out to make sure the venue was ok. He sent out his side of the invites himself too. Actually he did a better job than me and put stamps on his RSVP cards. He's had all his cards back whereas half of mine have responded verbally. Which has meant guests assume I know their email, dietary preferences etc ( not in fact the case!).

Mummyme87 · 16/06/2018 07:45

Yes men can often be very practical!

Xmasfairy86 · 16/06/2018 07:47

He likes to say he’s not interested but will always pipe up at some point with an opinion 😂

CocoLoco87 · 16/06/2018 07:50

I did most of it but i would choose 3 or 4 options for things and email links to dh so he could say "definitely not the first one" or "Can we have the 3rd option" etc. So we chose things together but then i did all the ordering / haggling. He was always kept in the loop but he was doing a degree so didn't have too much time spare.

Bodear · 16/06/2018 07:53

My DH did very little once the big decisions were made. We chose the venue and decided on the guest list together and then he took care of the invitations. After that I had free reign to organise it how I wanted. He was less interested in the day and was just looking forward to the marriage so wanted it to be exactly what I wanted. He planned the honeymoon which was a complete surprise for me. It worked perfectly for us.

n0ne · 16/06/2018 08:39

I took the lead but he was definitely interested! He wasn't bothered on the aesthetic stuff (flowers, outfits, rings, photos) but we picked the venues, music, food, transport and what form the day was going to take together.

goldopals · 17/06/2018 03:55

My fiance was not fussed about much of the details and I ended up taking over most of his job. We chose the venue together, did legal stuff and wrote the guest list together. I found a photographer, liased with the coordinator about menu, wrote the seating plans... He did organize the sound stuff and band

Popsicle434544 · 17/06/2018 18:45

My dp is really excited, has been getting involved in the really important stuff, dj, meal choices, clothing for all men, stuff like that but small stuff he just grins and nods Grin

HotNatured · 18/06/2018 15:49

My fiancé is as equally excited and as interested as me. He even has the countdown app on his phone. He has been v keen to get involved in the detail and even helped me choose my dress, although he hasn’t seen me ‘in’ it and wants to wait until the day. We did recognise though that we talked about weddings (only with one another) too much and sometimes put an embargo about banging on about it at certain times!

happymummy12345 · 18/06/2018 16:05

I'd had my dream wedding planned in my head for years. I knew what I wanted for pretty much every aspect.
So I told them df what I'd like, and he told me what he thought he'd like (which was similar to what I wanted anyway), and we made decisions on everything together. The only thing I chose without him was my dress and veil.
He's lived in this area his whole life, whereas I was still fairly new to it (came here as a student). So he knew where was good to go for things- florist, cake, car hire, all those kind of things. So that was his department, he decided where he thought best to go, and off we went.
I loved planning our wedding (can you tell?), I've gone all smiley and giggly like a teenager Blush. If we could I'd defo do it all again.

happymummy12345 · 18/06/2018 16:06

Meant to say, we were engaged 3 months and planned the wedding in 2, as we also had a baby on the way and wanted to be married before the baby was born and before I was showing.

Shoxfordian · 19/06/2018 08:49

My fiance is interested in choosing the venue and tasting all the food/wine obvs. He's not interested really in colour theme or style of invites etc. Can't say I'm overly interested myself but I'm making most of those decisions

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