Go with heart or head

[Hopskipjumping]

With regards to venue.

First choice is the cheapest, in a hotel 20 mins away from where all guests live. Perfectly fine but now wow. Ok gardens but again nothing special and not the best condition.

Second choice is a wedding venue not hotel only slightly more expensive but has two separate function rooms so two brides on same day. Slightly better grounds and gardens. We would put on buses for guests.

Third choice is stunning. Very very top budget. SlightlY over but we could make it work and the venue is so nice that we wouldn't need any extras. Stunning views and grounds. Hotel and 1 hour away. We would put on buses for guests.

Head says option 1 or 2. OH was ready to sign the contract on option 3 as we both thought wow but after coming away as reconsidered as thinks its a waste of money spending money on one day so he thinks option 1 but is also undecided.

For context we have our "forever" home (mortgaged), car and two (and only) children.

Any advice.

Having to leave at a set time in the evening on a shared bus where people have been drinking is no fun IME, have done this at 3 weddings, all three times the bus left very late due to guests not being there, ans on one there was an argument!

Is taxi supply good? Have you checked the prices with the firms? £40 sounds cheap for an hour’s drive.

Does depend on your salaries, and on your "spare money" each month as to what proportions, or multiples you are talking about, tbh.
If you ;ve got a mortgage and dc, I personally can't help thinking there would be better things to spend thousands of ££ on.

If someone asked you if you'd like to not have to pay your mortgage for 2 years, we'd all probably jump at the chance. Yet you are talking about spending that on a party, essentially. Just blowing it on one day.

Don't get me wrong, I know a wedding is 'a big day' and you want it to be 'special' - most people do, but think about all the parties / weddings / Christenings / Birthdays etc you've been to over your life, and do you really remember the room ? The decor ? at any of them?

I'd rather pay a chunk off my mortgage, or take the family on a really nice holiday that we wouldn't otherwise have had, than have fancy decorations in a room for 8 hours, myself.

Go with 3. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t.
Don’t spend money on something that you doesn’t make you say wow.

OP what is our food and alcohol situation for these venues?

From your guests’ point of view, they want to see you get married, and they want to eat, drink and be merry afterwards.

The most important parts of any wedding are:

1. The people
2. Enough to eat and drink
3. Good music to dance to afterwards

The best weddings I have been to were the ones where the room was full of love and happiness and everyone got nicely merry.

I would go for option 1 and splash out a little bit more on alcohol. Your guests would probably prefer a local wedding where they don’t have to stay in a hotel or worry too much about the cost of attending.

Also, if you are having a cash bar, make sure you know the bar prices at each venue. Your guests are less likely to let their hair down if they’ve had to travel a long way, possibly fork out for a hotel, and then they’re faced with eye watering bar prices. Cheap and cheerful is often the most fun and the least stress for everybody.

And it goes without saying that having a happy marriage is far more important than the views in the background of your wedding photos.

Thought some more and now considering pulling the date forward and having a smaller number of guests and a package with cars, dj and food, 4 drinks. April 2019 on a Saturday for £6750. It would be 30 mins on a bus. Seems more appealing as the thought of savibg for two years is becoming a bit depressing

The numbers would be 80 day with 40 additional at night

That sounds brilliant! 80 day guests + 40 evening is still pretty sizeable and I definitely think it’s preferable to 2 years of scrimping and saving.

Well done, OP! I'm so glad you found something you're happy with. 80 day guests is a lot of people, too! One suggestion: once you've booked it, please get wedding insurance! After reading the Hannah May thread that is what I'm researching today.

Congratulations!