I feel apprehensive and sad about my wedding

[AwkwardPaws27]

DP is lovely, been together 10yrs, finally looking at our wedding as we had a long engagement while buying a house. I want to get married.
We just booked a short notice wedding (12 weeks away) at a dry hire venue so we could use our choice of caterers, supply alcohol without corkage etc.
My mum had loads of questions about the venue so I sent her the website link. She's now seen the price and is going on and on about the cost (& still asking bloody questions!). She isn't paying anything towards the wedding so I don't see why it matters.

For what it's worth, our total budget (including venue, ceremony, a band, photographer, cake, food, drink, outfits and rings) is £12k, in the south-east, for 90 guests. I don't think it's astronomical although I agree it is a lot of money. None of it will be on credit; we are paying half and DPs family are very kindly paying half.

My dad (parents are separated) doesn't want to give me away as he hates being the centre of attention. I didn't think I minded, but coupled with my mum's response, I am disappointed that neither of them is able to just be happy for me.

Has anyone else dealt with family issues? How did you stay focused on and not let it spoil your day?

Try and focus on the fact this day is all about you and your partner and the love you share than the noise and distraction from your family. You will never please everyone so just crack on with your plans and focus on the fun and love of the day. If you need to tell your mum less then you may find you have to justify less to her.

I had big time family issues with mine too. Neither of my parents, siblings or grand parents came as it was too far for them to travel (40 miles) I didn't let them spoil it for me though. It's about you and your partner at the end of the day

As you've said your DH is lovely and he'll be your close family from now on.

Have low expectations from your parents ..and just enjoy your special day.

It doesn't feel like it is going to be a special day - it feels like it is going to be stressful and sad...

It sounds like their attitudes would apply to any wedding you might plan. In which case, the only way to avoid their behaviour would be to cancel the wedding and elope, and that really would be sad as it isn't what you want.

Weddings have a way of being so stressful in the run up that you cant quite believe it's going to be an enjoyable day. But so long as your relationship is a good one and you can decide not to sweat the small stuff, it will be a day of joy. I bet it'll go so fast you'll barely register how your parents are doing. I had a parent that I had a very uncomfortable relationship with, could never relax around etc. I was concerned about my wedding day but they just blended into the background amongst all the loveliness going on.

As long as this isn't you projecting your own fears about married on to them, I think it will be absolutely fine

I know a couple who walked up the aisle hand in hand together to get married. Try not to let your family put a dampner on your big down. Just think about the two of you. Hope you have a lovely day.