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Original poster

Did you have a free bar?

65 replies

Laineymc7 · 02/03/2018 14:31

Hello all
We want to have a free bar at our wedding. This will be for about 60 people. Evening bar opens about 7/8 and night goes on until 1am
Did any of you have a free bar? What was the damage? We are trying to budget for it. People are travelling for the wedding and having to stay overnight so we would love to offer this.
Many thanks

OP posts:

Thunderthunderthundercatshooo · 02/03/2018 15:49

We had a free bar until 7pm, for day guests (70). I have no idea how much it cost and only found out that it happened about a month after we'd got married. I never actually went to the bar, I didn't drink much and someone else got me the few drinks I had, I thought they'd paid!

My in laws paid for the bar, must have been a lot at £5 plus a drink from 2pm-7pm, we did have wine and champers in the wedding package too though. It's no wonder a few people were wasted now I think about it

Annabelle4 · 02/03/2018 15:53

No, but we had a glass of champagne immediately after the ceremony and bottles of wine on the tables.

DH and I were at a wedding recently with an unlimited open bar. I could hear people ordering triple vodkas It must have cost thousands for the free bar.
Fine if you can genuinely afford that, but certainly not expected.

DisabledUserName · 02/03/2018 15:53

No, we just provided wine with the buffet meal and that was all we could afford. We did have lovely food for all guests though and everyone had a good time.

Original poster

Laineymc7 · 02/03/2018 16:14

Thank you for all your responses. So not as much as I thought. For 50-60 people maybe £500- £1000 max should more than cover it. We are saving lots on money by not having the wedding in London so I want to do this for our guests.

Did you find that you guests got very drunk or no different to if they were buying it themselves?

Did it feel different to weddings that didn’t have a free bar?

Any of you been a guest and had a free bar. What did you think?

All our guests are very close family and friends so I don’t reckon they would take the piss.

OP posts:

Garmadonsmum · 02/03/2018 16:20

I barely drink and I would still go completely mad with a free bar.
We had prosecco toast and a couple of bottles of wine on the table. If I’d more money I would just increase the wine (and add soft ones too) I wouldn’t go for a free one unless we were Harry and Meghan.

Somerville · 02/03/2018 16:35

We had similar amounts of guests as you're planning, and bar bill was about £600. (Kindly paid by PIL.) Everyone was a very close friend or immediate family, and kids were invited too, so no-one really drank beyond merriness (we made sure there was masses of water and soft drinks on tables, which also helped with that - I think there sometimes is an element of wanting any kind of drink and alcohol being more readily available than anything else, at weddings.)

I do like it when there is a free bar at weddings we attend because it tends to also mean shorter queues at the bar, and it's less of a faff. But the ultimate most important thing is that there is plenty of food, and it's unfortunate when people cut back on portion size and nibbles for the sake of lots of booze.

greendale17 · 02/03/2018 16:37

No and I haven’t been to a wedding in the UK with a free bar

bakingdemon · 02/03/2018 16:41

Go with what you can afford and ask people to pay after that. I hate the idea that a wedding should be a massive piss up esp as my OH is teetotal and finds it v dull when everyone else is pissed.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 02/03/2018 16:49

Yes. We had a free bar from about 8pm until midnight and the total damage was much less than we thought - about £1500. But we had catered for three/four glasses of champagne and the same amount of wine between 4pm and 8pm so I think that helped!

RoryAndLogan · 02/03/2018 16:54

Yes, I hate having to pay for drinks at a wedding. We bought all in bulk for 120 people and £1,500 did everything.

wasthataburp · 02/03/2018 17:04

We did. But it was per head price instead of per drink so wasn't that bad

MaggieFS · 02/03/2018 17:09

To answer your later qs:

I've been at free bar and pay bar weddings. I'm not bothered if I have to pay as I know a lot will already have been spent on my meal etc. As with every wedding I've been to, you always have a few sober people who have young kids and are driving and a few people who go too far, sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's cringeworthy.

I do think it makes people less wasteful if they've had to pay for it, but might be wrong.

A free bar is a bonus but doesn't make or break thoughts on how 'good' the wedding was.

I don't think it makes any difference to the tone of the evening if it's a pay bar or not. I think what makes a bigger difference is how much booze is provided on arrival and with the meal. There is nothing worse than standing around even if it's just for 45 mins having finished your arrival drink with no more forthcoming. By the time it gets to the evening, the tone has largely been set. IMHO if budget is the decider then spend on arrival and meal drinks and people won't mind buying their own later, if they want to. Many people will have had enough by then anyway.

If you're worried about people taking the piss, they are your friends and family, you have to trust them. Or if you have any ushers or responsible friends who won't be drinking, ask them to keep an eye out for anyone who may need a timely glass of water offered to them. It's also a good idea to have water jugs and glasses left on tables and on the bar so people can help themselves without queueing.

What I would say though if you go for a pay bar, is make sure they take cards, preferably with a contactless machine. Many people won't carry cash and it makes it very quick to pay.

Original poster

Laineymc7 · 02/03/2018 20:10

Thank you for all suggestions and views. It’s been really helpful. I agree that welcome drinks are very important. We will have soft drinks, beers, bubbly. I will make sure that the drinks don’t dry up and everyone has plenty. We are having arrival canapés. I agree food is mega important. We are having 3 courses and after dessert are going to offer the cake with the tea and coffee. We will do the cake cutting early. We are also having a hot evening buffet with more cake. X

OP posts:

emsyj37 · 02/03/2018 20:17

We had a free bar - we had our reception in a different place from the ceremony and there was a drinks reception there that we paid separately for. We then bought our own wine for the reception and paid corkage (£3 a bottle). We used 24 bottles of cava for reception drink and toast, plus about 60 bottles of wine got opened over the afternoon and evening (lots of half used bottles left at the end!) We stipulated single measures of spirits only and no cocktails. Bill including corkage was £1500 and this was for 86 people in total, bar closed at 11.30. It was a cheap bar as it was a council owned venue (town hall) and Yes, people were drunk but no bad behaviour or anything! Would do the same again. Having a free bar was DH's only stipulation for the whole wedding. He felt strongly that it was our party and so up to us to pay.

Original poster

Laineymc7 · 02/03/2018 20:25

That’s how I feel that it’s our party we should pay. Also everyone will have an overnight hotel stay and travel costs so it’s our way of saying thank you. We have two kids ourselves so won’t be going crazy nor will the other guests.

OP posts:

TeaAddict235 · 02/03/2018 20:39

Yes, because you can't invite Jamaicans /Caribbean and Irish relatives and make them pay, it's the ultimate insult. They tend to give cash gifts anyway. The German side were unfamiliar with such practices but after one or two drinks they soon followed suit

We had about 100 people and paid about £200 to deposit the bar and then on the wedding eve about £400 more (DH May have given more).

LoveInTokyo · 02/03/2018 20:47

Ours will be free but the wedding is in France. As someone else said above, making guests pay for their own drinks would be the ultimate insult.

If you want to offer a free bar in the UK, either find a venue which doesn’t charge too much corkage and supply your own booze, or limit what is provided by the bar to beer and wine, or at least say no doubles/shots/cocktails.

Sittinonthefloor · 02/03/2018 20:48

We did - but in a marque in the garden type wedding so drinks carried round by waiters/resses rather than a bar. Bought the booze ourselves - waited for a really good offer and bought lots. It was champagne or nothing (married before prosecco was a thing!) though! IMO free drinks is top priority over wedding favours, chair covers etc. It really annoys me when people have spent loads on photo back drop stuff but not given me enough to drink!! Fair enough if it is a low key wedding, but when you know the couple have spent £20 grand and you still have to buy your own drinks .

Original poster

Laineymc7 · 02/03/2018 21:19

Lol teaaddict. You are describing our extended family to a t

OP posts:

Original poster

Laineymc7 · 02/03/2018 21:20

We aren’t having favours or flowers. I think they are a waste.

OP posts:

Doctordonowt · 02/03/2018 21:30

My 3 children all paid for their own weddings so we picked up the tab for the evening food and the bar. No-0ne took advantage and quite a few guests:that were aware, thanked us at the end of the evening, We spent between £700 to £1000. Each wedding had between 50 to 100 guests. Strangely enough, the cheapest bill was the one of the hunting lodges in Richmond Park.90% of the guests were from the Brides side. We were parents of the groom.

Thunderthunderthundercatshooo · 02/03/2018 21:32

I've been to a couple of weddings with free bars the entire night, it was great and a nice touch but paying wouldn't have made it any less enjoyable. The weddings without a free bar, there was still a welcome drink eg pimms or Buck's Fizz, table wine and champers to toast so we were only buying our own drinks late on.

I've never really noticed anyone getting out of control drunk with a free bar. I guess this has more to do with the kinds of people you invite.

I only found out we'd had a free bar at my own wedding retrospectively. A month or so later someone told me they'd got quite drunk and I said "bloody hell at them prices!" They pointed out it was free half the night (my fil paid for it, but never mentioned it).

Roystonv · 02/03/2018 21:32

Very helpful wondering how to do this too

crispinquent · 02/03/2018 21:33

We did, for about 75 ppl, it cost almost as much as the food so a few thousand dollars. This was in the US few yrs back

MrsGB2225 · 03/03/2018 02:44

Tea - I've been to loads of German weddings and everyone has had a free bar. I thought everyone had a free bar in Europe?!
IMO a free bar (and good food) is one of the most appreciated things as a guest.
Much better than spending the money on fireworks or something equally pointless.

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