AIBU Mothers idea of wedding dress shopping

[twilightsparkles]

So the big day is approaching and I've done everything apart from THE dress. Mainly because I not happy with my weight at present I don't have alot of weight to lose but I just feel unhappy and for the following reason

My mother called to ask when I would be shopping and I mentioned the shop and going with my mother, MOH, aunt and grandmother also who I am very very close with. My mother said she wanted it to be just me and her. She wanted to be the first to see me in a dress. So reluctantly i agreed to go to 1 small shop with her just to see me in a dress and then meet with the others.

I've dreamt of how our day would be and the dress shopping and couldn't imagine it just being the two of us in the shop. my MOH has helped with absolutely everything from picking bridesmaid dresses to visiting the venue and florist but my mother has only sent me photos of a dress and has not done anything else, I especially want my MOH there. My mother has been sending me dresses she pictures me in and they're not what I would expect to wear but I have said I will try on any dress but when I showed her a dream dress I've had in my wedding book for quite a while I received a simple 'meh' . Its my dream dress and I felt a little deflated

The other day when talking about the shopping I planned on being strong and saying I wanted the most important people there but then she said 'I don't want to go to those boutiques I want to go to the outlet ones and can see you in loads of dresses' but thats not what I agreed to and I completely lost all confidence. I love my mother we've had the most horrendous relationship and I always disappoint her and I don't want another row but I feel like crying because I have to do what someone else wants despite what I want to do. I really don't want to argue anymore Im too old for it all now. AIBU a bridezilla?

Of course you're not being a bridezilla! Go to the shops you want to go to, with the people you want there. If you've had an 'horrendous relationship' with your mother it surely can't get any worse? This is your wedding; not your mother's.

You are not being unreasonable. I can understand completely what you mean about having a bad relationship with your mum, I know the feeling. Now is the time to take back control though. It is your wedding, your dress. I would say, thanks for the suggestions mum, I've thought about it but this is what we're going to do..... If she moans say I understand but this is how I want to do it, it's important to me to do it like this. Just keep asserting yourself until she gets the point. If she wants to make a big drama out of it then go without her. You don't need to put up with it anymore.

Tell your moh exactly what you have told us. Make sure she 'insisted' in tagging along, she will support you selecting your choice of dress. Your dm sounds mobzilla!!

Thanks Knittedfairies. its one of those up and down ones if Im being completely honest very bad times but managing to get back on track finally but don't want to cause a row. I just need to be stronger

Thank you everyone I like the idea of MOH insisting of coming she would shes a star