Etiquette when eloping

[CurlyRover]

We're currently in the talking seriously about it but not quite going for it yet. For various reasons we're seriously thinking of eloping- well technically as we're planning it in advance it'd be a destination wedding on our own and then a meal out when we get back.

Anyway, I guess it doesn't really matter whether its technically eloping, I'm sure you get the point.

So my questions are - if you eloped did you tell people you're engaged? Did you tell people before you went to your wedding or did you announce it upon your return?

Also I have a very close friend but she lives miles away. I'd be gutted that she wasn't there, but if we invite her we'd have to invite others and I'd also feel as she'd be flying quite far, I'd feel compelled to then spend most of our honeymoon with her. So I'm not entirely sure what to do on that front to minimise any hurt feelings.

We’re eloping. Been engaged forever lol. We will tell people afterwards as a done deal and invite family for a meal. Too many people though our wedding needed their opinion. Noooo!

We just made sure parents were ok with it. Then went and did it (Vegas!)
Had a big party when we came back but everyone found out while we were there via the medium of Facebook as I couldn't help myself

Fluffy do people know you're engaged? I know what you mean about too many people and their opinions.

bluesu I think I'd find it really hard to not put it on Facebook tbh but deep down I know there are certain people I'd rather tell personally.

I think you need to accept that you can't have your friend there for the reasons you've stated.

It's just a wedding.

If it were me (and it was )

Don't tell anyone anything (unless you have a ring you want people to see?)

Get wed. Post pics on fb. Watch the likes and congrats roll in. Nice holiday then a party at home if necessary. Job done.

We eloped! We told people when we were engaged as we hadn't decided what we were doing at that point. We then told people we were getting married abroad on our own and then had a party when we returned which everyone was invited to. It was amazing and the memories of the day just ourselves were awesome, but then I'm not a huge fan of the big white wedding anyway!

Oh yeah everyone knows we’re engaged it was years ago and now we have found the eloping idea of our dreams. People know we have been engaged but not that we’re getting married in 12 weeks.

We told parents and siblings only (both about being engaged and about planning to elope). For everyone else it was a surprise- which came with the invitation to a big party after our return.

I'd invite your friend to the party/meal rather than the wedding, and spend a couple of days with her then!

Thanks all for sharing your comments and experiences. I like the idea of spending time with my friend if she can make it over for the meal.

thewanderer and happpydays where did you get married? We're toying with the idea of NZ but also looking into other options.

fluffy that's so exciting that it's only 12 weeks away!! Where are you going (if you don't mind me asking)? I understand if you'd rather not say on a public forum though.

flimp photos on Facebook sounds like a good plan. Although I have my Dad on fb who's currently NC and I can imagine him going spare.

Wrt the ring; we've agreed a month and are looking into options but DP won't consider us officially engaged until there's a ring So... if we're going to buy a ring, I'd want to actually wear it otherwise it's a waste imo. I guess we could go down the route of "oh well we've just bought a house and we know we want to get married at some point but obviously there's a lot to get sorted beforehand (boiler for instance) and we need to save so it's more of a long term engagement". Although I guess that falls apart when we book a 2 week trip halfway around the world...

@curly I am going here www.weeweddings.co.uk/