Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Weddings

Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.

Flip

Original poster

Thank you cards

10 replies

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 14/09/2017 08:07

We got married 3 weeks or so ago. I'm sorting thank you cards this week if I can, and was toying with photo postcards rather than folded cards requiring envelopes. I'll put a personal note on each one.

Has anyone used an online company to order this sort of thing? Reviews seem really mixed.

Also, would you use a photo of yourselves? I'd like to use a photo of the venue as it was spectacular, but can't help thinking a photo of us is a bit narcissistic! People might be more likely to keep a pretty postcard?

Who did / would you send them to? Obviously anyone who gave a gift, and people who helped (hairdresser, caterer etc), but what about non-gift giving guests? We didn't ask for gifts if that helps!

OP posts:

ButterfliesandMoths · 14/09/2017 08:15

I haven't sent cards (not married) but I received a thank you card with a photo of the bride and groom on. I still have it, thought it was a lovely idea.

Schoolchauffeur · 14/09/2017 08:23

I don't think people will care what the card is of, although they are more likely to keep a photo of the bride and groom- especially relatives as they might keep it if they didn't take photos.

I would only send to people who gave gifts - I think thanking people for turning up goes beyond the call of duty! Unless of course they came a very long distance and you want to say how much you appreciate that
.
I think the key thing is just to get on with it. There are often threads on here about people not having had thankyous and wondering whether their gift had been received. It took us a month - 2 week honeymoon, followed by delay in getting our gifts as they were stored at my inlaws house and they were on holiday ( and there house was 100 miles from ours) when we got back.

2014newme · 14/09/2017 08:26

You only send thank you cards to gift givers not to people just for turning up. You could enclose a wedding pic with Xmas card for those people

acatcalledjohn · 14/09/2017 08:38

You only send thank you cards to gift givers

Because a wedding is all about the gifts. Witnessing two people vowing to be together is by the by.

2014newme · 14/09/2017 08:43

A wedding is not all about the gifts but thank you cards normally are for something that has been received or hospitality enjoyed rather than thanking people for attending an event you've hosted.

CandyMelts · 14/09/2017 09:02

The reception where you feed, water and entertain your guests is to thank them for their attendance. Then any gifts get thank you notes after, it can look as though you're gift grabby otherwise by reminding them they didn't get you anything.

If course if they've travelled a long way and so spent a lot or helped in other ways then send them a card, you know your guests better than what etiquette says.

Photo cards are always nice but not if it take a 3 months to get a picture back from the photographer, then time to design, print, write and send, if so then best to get on with it with a generic card.

And make sure your DH does his half

AudacityJones · 14/09/2017 09:03

We sent cards to everyone who came. (Also we had a wedding in our home country so loads of people had to travel great distances, hence didn't expect or receive too many gifts).

We printed out and sent people a picture of us with them at the wedding, or a picture of them (if we couldn't find a good pic of us together). So sent my BIL and SIL this beautiful candid b/w shot of them laughing which they still have on a frame in their living room half a decade later.

Stuck the photos in a cheap but nice cream envelope with a little card and posted it about 3 months after our wedding.

Original poster

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 14/09/2017 09:05

The photos will be here next week (ace photographer) and I have piles on social media which people have said I can use. The attached image is mine - it was my view before I got the boat over to the island.

If I ordered some this week I could probably get them out next week, so within a month. That seems OK in principle.

And DP writes like a 5 year old (really), so I'll end up doing the lot...!

OP posts:

2014newme · 14/09/2017 09:08

Definitely send a wedding pic not the view.

acatcalledjohn · 14/09/2017 10:36

Guests often have to pay for hotels and travel etc, which isn't exactly cheap (and often considerably more expensive than the price for the food and wine on the table). As such a thank you note should go to everyone. People spend that money because they care enough about you to do that to witness a big event in your lives.

To not take that in to account when it comes to thank you notes is nothing short of grabby.

Flip