Inviting step-kids, yes or no

[jamandpeonies]

An old friend got married earlier this year and now has 2 DSS, one is 16, the other 19. The couple had been together for a few years before hand but we only met the boys once as they'd been at their mums/elsewhere everytime we'd met up before.

I'm getting married in December and having kids at the wedding. The couples newborn will obviously be invited, as will any other guests children.

My dilemma is whether or not I should be inviting the boys? If they were the same age as the other kids coming I would without hesitation, my issue is that they are so much older, the kids entertainer probably isn't going to cut it, and they would be bored. I don't want them to feel obliged to come, even if they can't think of anything worse! We've picked the venue to be fun for little kids (think softplay sort of place) but probably quite bleak for a teen.

WWYD?

Invite them. Likely they will opt out themselves but the thought was there. And if they come- a bonus!!

Yes I would invite. I imaging teenage boys will likely decline but it would be hurtful for her DH to have 2 out of 3 of his kids excluded.

*imagine

Why don't you ask him and say his boys are very welcome.

Personally I would be hurt if my teenage DD wasn't included in the invite if my younger children were. I think it's all or nothing. Chances are they will decline but if they decide to come then you've made the right call. Congratulations btw!

Nice of you think of them as a whole family and also very nice of you to understand that not all teenagers will be thrilled at the prospect of a wedding and lots of little kids!
I would send the invite and talk separately to the parents to explain the arrangements for kids and say that you will not be remotely offended if the teens decline the invite but that you wanted them to be welcome to come along as a family if they want to.

Congrats!