How many wedding photographers did you meet?

[AlletrixLeStrange]

We've met 3, the final one today and he left us feeling like weirdos for meeting several photographers.
The first one was really lovely but we didn't think she was that confident after meeting her and that would be an issue for us because we need pushing! When she mentioned booking we said we were meeting others first and would let her know, she was fine with this.
The second I was wary about because his emails were short and to the point which put me off a bit but on meeting him he's actually the total opposite of what we though and we got along fantastic, his pictures are incredible. In regards to booking, he explained the procedure then said he'll leave booking forms with us to decide.
One and two are the same price.
The third we met today and he was umm.. awkward? Like, I can't chat to anyone about anything but he was here for 20 minutes, didn't say a lot and when we said we would let him know about booking was quite abrupt and said "well it's booking up fast" and "what reasons would you not want to book?" and his smile turned to a kind of scowl He's also the most expensive.

How would I know if I got on with these people if I didn't meet them?! Surely this is the done thing. Because on paper I would've booked the third guy, but after meeting and knowing who I do and don't get on well with I'll probably book the third?

That's meant to say I'll probably book the second

I didn't meet any, I went solely on their portfolio and emails. TBH I didn't realise interviewing photographers was a thing.

Sames. I had a first choice but sent feelers out to a few others as well, looked at their portfolios and sent a few enquiries. Only met the one we went with after we signed the contract and paid a deposit.

They wouldn't get good pictures if they were total dickheads, because you have to be able to make people feel at ease. And the rest (price, promptness in replying, general attitude) can be garnered from emails.

Alright, maybe I am a weirdo

None. Well I looked at a few online and picked the one I liked best. Then sent him an email. I haven't met him, or even spoken to him, it's all been done via email.

One. She wanted to meet and discuss what sort of pictures I wanted, all I wanted was point and shoot, I don't understand wedding angst.

Ok so if you haven't met them, what will you do if they turn up on the day and you really don't like them?!
Maybe it's a personal thing but I'd be really worried about the photographer all day if I realised I didn't get on with them and if he even more worried we wouldn't get the pictures we want

I got a feel for him through the emails. I love his work. He will be treated as a day guest, he has a place and will get a menu choice rather than being sent into the bar on his own to eat. He will be kept well watered and be given cake. The photos are one of the most important bits to me, I think it's important to look after your photographer.

Mama I didn't say anything about how he'd be treated on the day
My photographer will be treated the same as yours, I'm not a monster

Alletrix if it was important to you that you met them and felt comfortable with them, I think that's fine. It's (often) a big chunk of your budget so important to get right. They may be a great photographer but if you don't feel at ease then chances are the pictures aren't going to be great.

I never said you were. Does it matter though how well you get on? You are paying him to do a job. Do you feel the need to do the same with your wedding co-ordinator? MUA? Hair stylist? Florist? Cake maker? Seamstress?

Anyway, we are all entitled to our opinions on our wedding, and if it's important to you, and ok with them then that's absolutely fine.

Why do you need to get on with your photographer? Surely all that matters is the quality of their work and whether it's within budget.

Only 1 but she is a friend and absolutely amazing! She's always fully booked and goes around the world for weddings. I would absolutely see as many as needed, it's too important to not be fully happy with your decision. See as many as nessasary

As the daughter of a very established wedding photographer who has assisted and done many pre-wedding consultations in my life, I can't believe the behaviour of the third photographer although the expensive ones do tend to be dickheads. We tend to only meet a client when the wedding is provisionally booked, usually 15-30 minutes over a coffee to check we could provide what they wanted/they weren't expecting too much for the time/price (and if everything was ok, that's when a deposit would be paid), I would be a little offended if the couple treated the meeting like an interview, though, especially if we'd spoken on the phone beforehand.

For my first wedding, a few of my friends took the photographs but it was very informal. For my wedding to DH, we spoke to many photographers (10+ ) as I couldn't decide what style of photography I wanted. We ended up with 3 yes that's where most of our budget went.

Eilasor our venue suggested meeting a few, obviously we've never done this before and thought it made sense and I'm still glad we did.
We only communicated via email and I'm starting to regret not putting something like "we will be meeting other photographers before deciding" but when I emailed them along the lines of "I've seen your photography, would you be able to send a quote for x location on y date" (a bit more formally and because they didn't have prices on websites or had summer prices with "discounts available for winter, please contact for more info" or something) it was the photographer who suggested meeting on all 3 occasions.
It certainly wasn't an interview either, just a general chat, they showed photography and we asked if they could meet our needs etc (although all 3 occasions got derailed into talking about dogs ), but we need someone really confident but friendly and not afraid to shout out to everyone that's it time for photos cause nobody will bloody listen to me
I feel awfully guilty now! I just thought this was the thing!

Oh no OP, don't feel guilty! At the end of it all, it's your day and you're the client, so really you could request 5 meetings with each before making a decision if you so wished! There's no protocol, surprisingly! And no photographer should make you feel guilty for requesting more information.

It's much more common than you'd think for wedding chats to turn to pets, honestly

You're totally not a weirdo! I'm a wedding photographer and I'd say I have a chat either in person or over Skype before booking a client.. maybe 80% of the time. The rest is via email but I do always try and speak with the client before the day even if it's only an email booking.

I think it's a good thing to meet up, because it isn't just about pretty photos. The photography is often intimately immersed in the wedding from start to finish. I'm there when the bride gets into her wedding dress, when her Dad sees her for the first time. I'm there in the car with you, up at the alter or desk or wherever for the first kiss. I'm there, all day, the bride and grooms sidekick who has to periodically yell at people to hustle them through the groups shots, but getting the right balance of being commanding but not an arsehole.

An arsehole photographer can wreck the memories of a wedding. It's an important and quite intimate role so yes, it's a good idea to check out that the person is friendly, confident & easy going.

There are probably some kinds of wedding photography that don't require a meet up before, maybe the more tradituonal kinds, but my style is very get in the middle of things, exuberant documentation, so it makes sense to meet.

Good luck with your wedding!
The last photographer sounds like a bit of a twat.

Amibambini thank you! I do feel really guilty though but that's what I was trying to say, we need someone like you who gets right into it and we need to feel comfortable with them.
I was shocked about the last photographer, his photographs were very good and he was highly recommended, maybe I just made him uncomfortable. People do say I'm pretty scary

We met about three I think. We didn't really gel with one of them so it was definitely useful.

Also we arranged a warm up photo shoot with our chosen photographer which I'm pleased we did as I hate getting my photo taken so helped me relax a bit. Ended up with some lovely shots in a summery meadow that day.