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How do we do this without a fallout?

7 replies

Osirus · 09/06/2017 16:58

DP and I are getting married soon. We want it to be just the two of us, with two witnesses of course. We weren't going to tell family until after the event but we are wondering if it would be better to let people know before instead?

We are concerned that this will mean some people will push for an invitation (or just turn up anyway!). We really don't like being the centre of attention and don't want any fuss whatsoever. We have been together a long time and getting married is really just formalising our relationship, as romantic as that sounds! I can't bear the thought of being watched!

There are also family issues which would cause a big headache with who to invite and we really don't want the stress and hassle.

How do we tell them without causing offence?

If it helps, our witnesses will be our mothers. My mum and a few of my siblings know, but DP's family have no idea. My family have supported our decision and are happy for us to do what we want to do, but his family are more involved with each other than mine, and they will expect to be there.

OP posts:
NellieFiveBellies · 09/06/2017 17:06

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NellieFiveBellies · 09/06/2017 17:06

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LaceandChintz · 09/06/2017 17:15

My cousin got married after years together. Just her twin sister and husband as witnesses. Told parents only before.
Dh's sister also married long standing partner. 6 guests (me, dh and 2 dc plus her parents). People knew but no one pushed for invite or gate crashed. Don't think bil has even now told his family they got married. It was one of the nicest weddings I've ever been to and perfect for them.
It's your day. Do it your way.

Osirus · 09/06/2017 17:50

No not yet, going to ask her soon. She has the day booked out for us though; she thinks we are going out for lunch.

Thanks Lace, I hope we have a similar experience.

OP posts:
NellieFiveBellies · 09/06/2017 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JuicyCake · 09/06/2017 18:04

We told family that we were going abroad, just the two of us. They were delighted. I'm not a wedding type of person, we're not young & we fancied a nice holiday! No offence taken on either side. And both families can be a bit Eastenders at times...
I'd say just do it, but with the mum's involved that might spell trouble. Is the plan to surprise them on the day? Not sure that will work out well...

BackforGood · 09/06/2017 18:10

I was going to say just tell everyone once it is all done, but then you confused the situation by saying you are having both Mums as witnesses .....

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