Will people think I'm a prick for not having an engagement ring?

[MadameSzyszkoBohush]

I've just got engaged, DP didn't get me a ring as he knows I'm unsure about having one, says we can go choose one if I want. But I hate all the stuff around engagement rings - the fact that you're supposed to go "oooh" at everyone's ring (where I have worked this seemed to be compulsory), the holding your hand up to the camera Facebook picture, the "it should cost 2 months of the mans salary" that people trot out as tradition when it was actually an ad campaign and then you seem to have to wear it constantly (I would prefer to wear it when I want, not everyday).

Obviously I know I can just not get a ring, but if I tell people I'm engaged they will probably ask why I haven't got a ring and if I tell them all my reasons I'll basically be saying they're bollocks and making them feel stupid for wanting/having one. And I'll have to explain myself everytime? Or can I just say "I didn't want one"? I think I'm overthinking this, aren't i?!

My engagement ring cost £70 at an antiques fayre. It's lovely day not the same as everyone else's generic white gold bridal sets. I don't wear my rings every day. DH doesn't have a ring at all and I wear mine when I want to. Doesn't make us less married. Do what you want!

Thanks for responses, I thought you were all going to tell me to get a grip! Yes think I'm either going to wait until we set a date and say "we're getting married" or just say I don't want a ring and leave it at that. I know I will get a lot of from colleagues and family, but I will stick it out!

Absolutely not, is your business!

Do exactly as you want. I bought my own ring, it certainly wasn't 2 months salary! It's also 'just' silver, delicate, and very unusual in design with a not-very-sparkly uncut diamond. I love it, it's totally me, but I can imagine the big, sparkly rock brigade would be very at it. Screw other people.

I just have a gold band- its my second marriage and we decided and did it within weeks twenty years ago.

Since then we've never really had spare money to spend on that type of thing, I'd rather have stuff for the house or a nice holiday.

I never had one, just a gold wedding band.

With late-DH I didn't tell people I was engaged, I said we were getting married... no one enquired about the lack of an engagement ring.

I didn't have one. Didn't want one at the time.

I chose a wedding band studded with diamonds to represent "both".

I didn't care what anyone else thought. I just wasn't a "ring person".

10 years later I wish I had and casually mentioned to DH - not with any expectation, it just came up and I don't remember how.

Anyway when we next went shopping he took me to this posh jewellery shop and bought me a huge beautiful diamond solitaire as an anniversary gift.

So my advice is if you don't want one, don't have one. You can always change your mind

I personally have an engagement ring, but it's cheap and bought from a pawn shop ( pawnbat.ca/jewelry/rings/metal=gold;gender=womens/ ). I didn't need a ring to know whether or not my fiance loved me - but he thought it would be nice that I had an engagement ring. We were not looking for something super expensive, just something we both think looked good on my finger.

We're not doing a ring. We've chosen a date and venue and are going to give people save the date cards (trying to do as many as possible face to face). But we're older and it's DP's second wedding