How do you plan a wedding when you've never been to one?

[ExplodingCarrots]

I totally sound like Billy no mates....

Me and DP got engaged a week ago today. Obviously very happy and excited, but now a sense of dread has come over me.

I have never attended a full day wedding. I have only been to a few evening receptions. DP was only a kid when he went to one. Its just people who are very close to us havnt married or already are or. Just one of them things not very popular

I have NO idea where to start! I have no idea how a wedding works/what happens when/what you need to organise. I'm just sat here feeling confused.

I know MN is a fan of if you want to be married just go to a registry office and be done with it but I want a full on wedding (minus the church)

Where do I start?? Do I pay a random couple to go to their wedding for a nose?

How far west are you? Can recommend lots nr haverfordwest/Narberth

Congratulations also daydream !
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JustNoris* that would be very kind of you. Thank you so much. My planner is just blank at the moment.

June I'm in Pembrokeshire so any info you have would be very much appreciated.

Diddly £1000 + . Poor DP is going to have a heart attack

Would definitely recommend wolfscastle country hotel, had our own reception here a few years ago as well as family wedding last year. Excellent service/organisation and food is great every time.
I hate typing on phone so will add more from laptop in a bit

I love wolfs castle hotel. DP has had his works do there 3 times and we stayed there in December. Such a lovely place.

The price was pretty competitive too (depending on what type of meal you go for), and there was no room charge when we married there, as there can be in some venues.

Highly recommend Sally at White bride in Narberth www.whitebride.net/, beautiful dresses to suit a range of budgets (she has a blog post about her prices (www.sally-white.blogspot.co.uk/)

Also had our flowers from next door florist in narberth which were lovely. Spirals in Haverfordwest are very good also.

Family wedding recently used Dress for the occasion for menswear, the owner used to work in Hylton John. If you have men needing to be measured who live away I think they can go to a shop local to them with the same supplier.

Have you had a look on www.pembrokeshireweddingfayre.com/? Lots of suppliers on here. Actual wedding fayre is good to have a walk around for ideas etc but not essential. Lots of hotels will also be having their own fayres in the spring/autumn.

If your photographer does wedding photography in the area they should be a mine of information!

Don't spend much on wedding magazines, more useful info in the free ones you can pick up in the wedding suppliers/venues eg www.tiaramagazine.co.uk/ and blogs/websites like rock my wedding www.rockmywedding.co.uk/

Hope that helps a bit, you have loads of time so once you have date/venue sorted you can relax and think about the detail/what kind of wedding you want.

Thank you so much for that info junemami .

It's good to hear local recommendations.

Love this op! Me and my partner are looking at getting married in 2017 my church is already booked for the date I wanted so now I'm in panic stations. I've been bridesmaid at one wedding (long time ago!) And attended my sisters wedding (standard church photographs meal then gazebo with tables in) so am looking for as much help as possible I wanted to spend £1200 but have had to up it to almost £4000 already and that's by doing a lot of it ourselves food decorating venue etc! I'd plan a budget and really stick to it money soon goes when you find something you like but hadn't thought about! X so far I've decided pink for colour scheme my kids are walking me down the aisle as dad passed away not long ago people coming is only immediate family and close friends and we are hiring village hall and doing everything ourselves! Hope that helps! X good luck! X

Thank you for replying rampantrose and good luck for your wedding next year.

Was you shocked when you realised just how much things cost? I had no idea. My photographer is £1300 ! But she's a very good friend and I'd never go with anyone else.

I think your kids walking you down the aisle is a lovely idea. I think it's nice when you make alot of things yourself as it's very personal. I don't know where to start with designs.

I've taken out a couple of magazine subscriptions for ideas.

I'd start with thinking about what matters most to you and your partner about your wedding, and then adapt according to your budget.
Want a fancy venue / fantastic food / spectacular honeymoon? Might need to stick to a small number of guests, or opt for a less popular mid-week date, so you can afford the location and catering.
Want to have all your family, friends and their children with you to celebrate? Might need to look for a cheaper venue, go for less expensive food like a buffet and cut costs on the dress, invitations, photography etc to welcome hordes of people.
Focus on what's important to you, and don't get caught up in things like expensive cakes, wedding favours and cars if you don't really give a damn about them.

ExplodingCarrots I honestly think the highest shock I had was last night. Looking at a local venue for an evening do (wasn't nothing overly impressive just nice) worked out to over £15000 without the actual wedding part or music etc I was horrified lol. I do think it's expensive to have the wedding breakfast so I may cook it myself and serve it (can see me being told off for doing it in my wedding dress though haha!) My top tip I was told was when using hairdressers and things like to hag just tell them you're out off out for a meal or something because as soon as you mention wedding the costime triples instantly for the exact same service X

I think we're lucky (in this situation) that we don't have that many close family members and only a handful of close friends that will be invited for the ceremony and wedding breakfast. So that will be money saved.

We won't be having cars. I don't want a big lavish cake. Just something simple. I have a girl in mind who has done Dds birthday cakes and her prices are very reasonable and she does a good job.

I think I'll make edible favours. Something like cake pops or little chocolates.

Our budget is £20,000. DP has said he wants change from that but after looking at stuff for the past couple of days I don't think he'll have much ..if any.

I hate how companies ramp up the costs for the same service.

My DN had a brilliant wedding 2 years ago. She hired a row of holiday cottage with a large shared rear garden. Large marquee. Hog roast. Bouncy castle, band, ice cream van. Asked guests to bring whatever they enjoyed drinking in lieu of a gift. Strict no kids after 10pm rule. Hired vintage bus to drive guests to reg office. It was honestly the best wedding I've ever been to.

It was a relaxed, happy occasion where everybody watched the ceremony then just had a big party afterwards.

Many of the best weddings I have been to were slightly quirky. Couple hired a big house, had caterers in to do a barbeque, which was served buffet style, and a DJ in the main room afterwards. Couple and some guests stayed over night and we all had a slap up breakfast the next day.

Another couple had the wedding and reception in an old hotel. Lots of red wine, log fires etc. Again, buffet for meal. That was fabulous.

If you have no preconceived ideas, you can do exactly what you want.