Advice - home or away

[Busybuzzybumblebee]

Hiya, I'm currently quite conflicted about where/how we get married. We're in the process of saving for our big day and my dp wants to go off just us and get married in Vegas, wedding plus honeymoon in one. I do love the idea of no hassle, just buggering off, no family politics or organising a wedding, plus being able to have an amazing honeymoon, however there is a little bit of me that would like the white dress and the celebrating with family, doing it at home would mean village hall so a lot of work for me, organising everything. Has anyone eloped and regretted it or stayed and regretted it???

It is SO personal to each couple's circumstances, I think only you and dh can decide this.

I had a very traditional Church wedding, then sit -down meal, then evening party, and had an absolutely wonderful day. It was one of the most important and special days of my life, and, as such, it was important to share that with the people who are important in my life.

I read of so many disfunctional families that isn't the case for though - so I guess they would think differently.

Cost is also going to be a big factor....although you can spend a little or a lot on a wedding here, but would be spending a fair bit (I should imagine) on a wedding abroad.

My dream was to elope - we had it all booked and planned out. My parents were happy (non traditional family, both my parents remarried themselves that year) and friends understood our reason. Then we told the in laws....and they went ballistic!

Turns out that all the talk of 'it's your day' was utter shite, and their apparent lack of interest in our plans didn't mean that they would accept our choice, even though we had invited them to join us, and arranged a meal for 70 people on our return. They took it personally and it almost ruined our relationship with them.

So I'd just say, make sure your families are on board with your decision. We didn't go ahead (although we had the honeymoon as it was alll booked and paid for) as it wasn't worth the upset to do it, in the face of such objection.

3 years later, we are only just getting round to organising the big wedding the family wanted!

My sister is very upset by the suggestion of eloping my mum and brother totally understand, the thing is I'm not sure I wouldn't resent my sister if she was the only reason we did it here, it's so expensive to have a nice wedding here

I think that goes back to what you consider important though Busy.
Personally, I thought it too expensive to go off abroad for a honeymoon - we're all different .

I don't quite understand the thing about going off to get married abroad, to save money, and then coming back and having a big party afterwards - it seems to me you are spending twice then.

If it's cost that is the main reason for not wanting to have a wedding at home, then there are loads of people on here that will give people advice about how to save £££ and still have a lovely day.
If it's the fact you don't want people looking at you / being the centre of attention, then that's entirely different, and I can understand people wanting to not have a wedding at home for those reasons (although I went to a wedding at which there were only 11 guests a few years ago - it can be done that way if you want to).

We had the same dilemma as you but in the end decided to have our wedding in a church here and then the meal and reception in a private room at a pub nearby. I don't deny that there was stuff I had to do but I did delegate jobs out as much as possible, i.e. a company came and dressed the tables, a florist did all the flowers and dressed the church, the pub did all the food, a friend provided the car, another couple of friends did hair and make-up, another company who did the cake and delivered to the venue. You can spend as much as you want or not. Don't think a wedding abroad will be cheaper necessarily. When we compared prices, there wasn't much in it, especially if you have a party when you return home.

Tbh I wouldn't worry too much about family disputes - they will happen no matter what you choose to do. There will always be someone who has a hissy fit.

I got married 3 weeks ago in the canary islands because I wanted a sunny day and no rain.

I paid for my ten children, partners, grandchildren for 1 week in a 4 star hotel.

We then opened invites to anyone who wanted to come along and another 9 turned up plus four friends from the island.

The wedding was on the beach and it cost £900 for the ceremony, cake, my flowers, guitarist to play us down to the beach and back to the restaurant and a three course meal for 25 people and drink for the rest of the night. ( that was only £400 for food and drink and everyone chose steak said it was lovely!) the restaurant looked like a Canarian bodega and I made bunting in the colours of the island...emerald green, royal blue, bright red, yellow, orange, black and white.

It was a bargain. We got married at 7pm in the evening , under some palm trees with the beach and sea as a backdrop. I got my dream wedding and it couldn't have been better.

I'd tell anyone to just go for it. If you're thinking of doing it pm me if you want some contacts. You do have to have a small civil / registry office type ceremony in the uk first to make it legal.