What did you find the hardest/most stressful part of planning a wedding?

[Dnorris9]

We found our wedding planning incredibly stressful despite working in project management and finance.

It took us a long time to get over our bickering (as we didn't know where to start!) before we became a cohesive unit, realising that putting our personality into the wedding was the most important part (apart from the reason we were getting married of course!)

What did you find the toughest part and why?

Ha PaulineFossil, I think our mothers could be related

Ahhh, I love a good mother of the bride-zilla thread. Reading everyone else's experiences is actually quite therapeutic. Thanks OP

Bridesmaids dresses!!! That was hell. 2 out of 4 saying it's your day it's up to you but not actually meaning it. Then almost refusing to try on what I had decided on. Tbf she did apologise and explained she had other stuff going on and loved the dress in the end.
My parents have been very laid back ad have in laws all have contributed something and we are very grateful but have made no demands.
Wedding hasn't actually happened yet it's not for another 6 weeks so I am in table plan stress at the moment but have reached an I actually don't Carr point with that.

Didn't really find it stressful as a whole, but the most difficult bit was the bit I couldn't influence - that is the rudeness of people not bothering to reply to invitations.

Last minute demands from a family member that other people be invited, even though neither DH or I had seen or heard of them for over 15 years. The family member (who is a close family member) even threatened not to come unless these people were invited. I got a bit stroppy because of the cost involved but eventually caved in and invited them. The people didn't come either. To be honest, I think they were probably amazed that they were ever invited.

In laws being shocked we weren't having a church do (we don't go to church, they don't go to church, my family don't go to church - why would it be in a church?)

Both parent sets being outraged about an outdoor daytime wedding with picnic - 'but what if it rains?' (The venue had inside areas if it had)

His mother being shocked we weren't inviting extended relatives. Her side is 30 odd people. My dad's side is over 20 people. We wanted a small wedding. She agreed but we couldn't tell anyone that we had guests - she would tell the family it was parents and siblings only (family we hadn't met then or since mind you).

My dad announcing we needed flowers (getting married in a garden so why?) and besides a nice bouquet would only be about £20 from a good florist. In retrospect I should have given him £40 and told him to sort it then.

Venue couldn't understand we wanted the buffet food but put in picnic baskets (we provided) so we could eat outside. Also weren't sure they could cater for half a dozen veggies, an egg allergy and a dairy intolerance.

It's was a couple of years back and apparently I'm still not over it.

some of these are classic!

If only there was a way to keep family politics out of it, sadly not.

We've found lots of things we'd change in hindsight but still look back on it as a wonderful day.

We had to do the same thing with guest list - gave the MIL 6 seats to include their friends, and put a rule on no children (harsh) and no partners that we'd never met before (if they weren't married). still managed to end up with 10% of our guests who we won't see again in just 2 years, shocker!

I agree about table plans. Until DMum got involved I had no idea that there were so many petty family feuds and that so many folk didn't talk to each other.

I got married at 21 so it was basically my mums' party. I don't think I had any say about anything apart from the hymns in church.

*mum's

I cheated with bridesmaids as they were all under 6. I made their dresses using Disney princess patterns so they were delighted!

Sadly, I am completely upstaged by their cuteness in all the pictures

Chrisquean, so glad it's not just me. My mother refused to believe dh and I could organise anything, despite the fact that organising various types of event was a large part of both our jobs - between us, around 100,000 people a year attended things we'd organised with no major cock-ups. Dh had even organised a few weddings in a previous job. But that was all completely irrelevant. It was a very strange period of temporary madness induced, I think, by the fact that her mum had organised her wedding and she'd had little say. And been annoyed. So obviously the right thing to do was to do the same to me .

Definately my DMs attitude to it all. Shes been berating me about how our plans keep changing (I had a thread about fucking canapes because I actually started second guessing myself!) and if she mentions favours one more time I might exclude her completely. Noone wants them, they get binned or left behind and we don't want to pay for them. For the record she is paying for our flowers which is massively generous of her but I'm letting her choose them so as to give her something to focus on or so I thought. Dreading wedding dress shopping next month as she is incapable of holding her tongue. I'm a generous, pear-shaped fat bummed size 14 and she just can't help pointing out that my thighs bigger than she has ever seen them.

My ILs on the other hand, have been wonderful. My future MIL will end up my advocate I think

Rant over. And very theraputic!

Who to invite and how big it was. I wanted about 20 people with a low fuss no frills wedding. My mum wanted the entire extended families which would have meant about 150 people. Compromised on 50 but might as well have gone for 150 as it ended up being just as complicated to arrange as a huge wedding. Tried to keep it low-fuss though and succeeded to some extent, only one bridesmaid, men in own suits not matching hired ones, no first dance, no receiving line, no bouquet-throwing, no "going away".

I got married recently after nearly 7 years widowed.

I invited late DH's family who had all met my new DH many times over the 3 years we had been dating. When we decided to get married they all seemed pleased for us but when we sent out wedding invitations, several of them then behaved strangely and then one wrote me an email stating that it was disrespectful to my late DH and couldn't see why I wanted a "fancy do" rather than a low-key register office (I had a register office do the first time so would have wanted something different in any case). Then two weeks after the "reply by date......" had passed, another emailed to say they were declining the invitation because they thought new DH wasn't genuine and then the day before the wedding, another one bailed out by saying they had to support the other two who weren't going. Late DH's mother then couldn't come because she isn't very mobile and was relying on that person to bring her.

Luckily four other members of late DH's family did come. We had a great day and I'm pleased there were some representatives from late DH's family but sad to say I'm no longer in touch with the three who refused to come out of some misguided loyalty to my late DH (who, incidentally, would have been pleased I'd met someone else).

What the fuck is ^ about?!!

I get married next week. FUCK ME IT'S NEXT WEEK.

Most stressful thing? Not the enormous 170 people wedding. Not the event planning. Not the decorating, detail or drinks.

My mother.
She is not a nightmare.
She is amazing. She just can't control herself and trying to control her is exhausting

She is just so so so excited that she is now pissing the hell out of me.

I am holding myself together ok. What I really need is reassuring cool calm happy people but she is exhibiting hyperactive, excited behaviour everywhere. Exclaiming comments to anywhere I go with her to people who don't give a shit and she's just not self aware. I am trying to involve her in as much as I can tolerate or she will be so upset but it's embarrassing. I look like a bitch because I'm not squeeling and jumping up and down with her and grinning like a maniac. I had a dress fitting yesterday and she grabbed the train and jumped up and down pretending I was a horse. I wanted to just kill her but everyone was looking.

Before you suggest it. I have tried talking to her. On multiple occasions. She just doesn't see how her behaviour is dominating and actually doing my head in. "You just don't understand how long I have been waiting for this"

You've had your wedding. Fuck off.

No, she doesn't drink. I can't sedate her. My bridesmaids are trying to work out how they can manage her on the day. I just know the whole day will be spent looking after her and shutting her the fuck up