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Original poster

Was I unreasonable

16 replies

Emblondey84 · 17/05/2015 22:35

I recently had to tell my friend who I am her bridesmaid for that I will be unable to go on her 3 day hen do .
This is due to a few weeks before me giving birth .
I explained to her how guilty I felt that I couldn't go but, explained I felt it was far to soon me leaving my baby for that amount of time .
I got a short reply from her telling me to inform the maid of honor I can't go . Nothing else .
Since then she has barely bothered with me and has been talking about me to her fellow bridesmaid as I can't go .
I now feel so sad and guilty as I thought she would understand that like any new mum leaving your baby just for a few hours is hard .
I am now 38 weeks pregnant and it has caused me massive upset :-(

OP posts:
cookoos · 17/05/2015 22:44

NO!
thats no friend!
the world does not revolve around her wedding
i get married in 5wks & i would never act like this.... shes being a bridezilla and v.v unreasonable!

YouBastardSockBalls · 17/05/2015 22:45

YANBU.

Congratulations and enjoy your new baby Flowers

Koalafications · 17/05/2015 22:46

No, she is being ridiculous.

Nothing wrong with you wanting to spend time with your baby... Confused

Maybe you didn't get the memo about the world revolving around her wedding? Hmm

chickydoo · 17/05/2015 22:50

Once you've had your baby nothing else will matter Thanks
She will understand one day if she is lucky!

karinmaria · 17/05/2015 22:52

YANBU. Maybe one day she'll get it, or maybe not. Fingers crossed for a sneeze birth for you Wink

Springtimemama · 17/05/2015 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GColdtimer · 18/05/2015 01:59

YANBU she is.

I was a bm for my friend when dd1 was 4 months old. Her wedding was child free so DH had the baby the night before so I could stay with my friend and my mum had her the night of the wedding. It was a massive wrench and friend never even acknowledged how hard it was until a year later when she was in the same position (young baby, bm for a friend) when she profusely apologised. One day your friend will realise how awful she has behaved.

Original poster
Emblondey84 · 18/05/2015 06:18

I'm honestly lost for words . The thing that has made this more heartbreaking is that I've been friends with her for years .
She doesn't have or want children but, I don't think that's an excuse for how she's being Sad

OP posts:
teachermummy2b · 18/05/2015 07:07

I am in a very similar situation - am also 38 weeks pregnant and baby will be 10 weeks old at the time of the hen weekend. So-called friend has told me she is 'extremely disappointed especially after all the hassle she went through to come to mine last year.' Mine being one night in her home city and hers being a weekend 2 hours away.

Ive just accepted that relationships change over time and unfortunately we clearly are not great mates anymore. Still feel sad though. Sad Sad

Original poster
Emblondey84 · 18/05/2015 07:29

My friend didn't come on mine .
Mine was a lot cheaper .
She said she was having money problems at the time so I understood and excepted .
I went out for a few drinks before my wedding too locally but, she didn't attend that either Confused

OP posts:
Mitzimaybe · 18/05/2015 07:42

Don't remind her of that, or it will look like tit for tat cancellations. Honestly, if she doesn't understand that you need to be with your baby a few weeks after the birth, she is crazy.

HoggleHoggle · 18/05/2015 07:45

She sounds awful. Yanbu.

Try and put it to the back of your mind and enjoy these last few weeks before your baby comes.

Original poster
Emblondey84 · 18/05/2015 09:32

Thanks all .
If anything I know I've been a good bridesmaid .
I've helped her everyway I can since she started organising her big day .
Guess it's her loss if our friendship boils down to her not understanding her friend has just given birth x

OP posts:
honeyroar · 21/05/2015 16:26

So she didn't come to either your wedding or hen do and is being arsey about your pregnancy, yet you haven't dumped her yet? You're better than me!

expatinscotland · 21/05/2015 16:28

YANBU

Em4891 · 21/05/2015 22:58

I feel so hurt by how she's been . I'm even having doubts over the whole bridesmaid thing now . Especially when the girl who she asked to be maid of honour has barely been there for her . Think the thing that has cut so deep is that it's my baby she's going in a mood about cus I don't want to leave him .
You think you know someone then they act like this Sad

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