I've just been accused of NOT being a Bridezilla...

[LadyFlumpalot]

Like it's a bad thing!

Future MIL has just thrown a text strip because I'm not fussed if some distant relation wears a colour in the same spectrum as the bridesmaid dresses.

Apparently I'm supposed to make sure no one wears any shade of this particular colour.

I've explained that I'll only really be bothered if anyone shows up in a floor length white gown - but future MIL is not having this and is cross that I won't back her up in her telling this relation that she is not allowed to wear that colour.

Is this a thing - am I meant to issue instructions on colours for guests to avoid?

Anyone want to give me any tips on how to be a better Bridezilla?

DYAC! A text strop*

Maybe you can start issuing orders to MIL as to exactly what she should wear. Something you know she'll hate, maybe...

That should quickly change her mind

Maybe you can start issuing orders to MIL as to exactly what she should wear. Something you know she'll hate, maybe...

That should quickly change her mind

Maybe you can start issuing orders to MIL as to exactly what she should wear. Something you know she'll hate, maybe...

That should quickly change her mind

Stupid phone

Oh FFS - now my SIL to be is getting in on it.

Basically I've upset my inlaws because if I don't insist that none else wears a particular colour they won't feel special by being allowed to wear that particular colour.

Refuse to get involved.

Bodes well for the future, doesn't it?

All you can do is state politely (as many times as needed) that you really don't care if Great Auntie Grizelda wears the same shade of puce as the bridesmaids.

Is the real problem that it's actually the colour (or close to) that MiL-to-be is wearing? Or is MiL-to-be using this issue to assert her place in your marital pecking order for future reference? Only you can decide if there's an ulterior motive. Or if you need to get your fiancé involved in reining in his mother.

You've hit the nail on the head; a Bridezilla DOES issue edicts on the wearing of colours. You aren't a Bridezilla, thanks be to God!

when is the wedding?

take this as a clear warning. Your future MIL is trying to throw her weight around with the extended family and tell someone what they can and can't wear to someone else's wedding - she's trying to use you to back up her desire to control other's behaviour and do things her way.

SIL is joining in as she's obviously been trained that there's her mum's way of doing things, and the wrong way, and of course you should be backing up her mother's judgement.

If you stick to "wear what you want" stanse, you are going against your MIL's view of how things should be done (ie. everyone being told they can't wear the same colour as the bridesmaids). There will be another occasion when you want to do things in a way that's not the way your MIL would have done it, and she'll not take well to you not doing things her way. God help you if you plan different side dishes if you ever host Christmas....

I think you should get your STBDH to say to his mother 'Look, Flumpalot doesn't give a shit what anyone wears, but keep this up and we'll be eloping to the Isle of Man.'

Throw a bridezilla strop. At her. Tell her you're fed up of others trying to muscle in in your wedding when they've had their big day and then add the killer line 'if these people actually cared about me they wouldn't put me in this position and under this stress - you're ruining everything for me' run out crying fake tears. Do this a few times and they'll soon get fed up of bridzilla

Just tell her what you said in Op....white floor length gown.

I wouldn't give a stuff either

She sounds a nitemare