Wedding stress -wwyd?

[FaithLoveandGrace]

DP and I are getting married at the end of the year. Having a church ceremony, tea / cake in church hall followed by an evening reception at the local social club with DJ and a buffet. The evening fills me with dread though tbh. I've never been one for partying and tbh I wish we could do what my friends did - church ceremony, tea / cake in church hall then off to hotel. I have been diagnosed with depression & anxiety and so social settings often make things worse anyway. I worry that few people will actually be dancing anyway given the type of people who are coming and the evening will overall just suck! I don't know what to do tbh. I don't know if I should mention to DP and see if we can cancel evening (though we'd lose deposit of £100) and just organise a meal or something after church hall - and ask people to join us but pay for themselves. Does that sound really rubbish though? Either way the whole thing makes me anxious and worried it's just going to be a rubbish wedding for our guests.

Speak to you DP, if the wedding is nearly a year away and it's stressing you now then it's not worth it.
As a compromise you could still do the social club bit but you guys leave early with everyone waving you off at say 6-7pm. Let them know they're welcome to stay and 'party' but you are going for your wedding night at a hotel.

Presumably the invites haven't gone out yet
So do what you want it's your wedding you need to feel comfortable & your fiancé should understand

It's your wedding day, not a party for the guests. Do what makes you happy. If your fiancé doesn't understand, then you have problems. !

I would say just cancel the evening part and do what you'd enjoy.

It's your wedding and should be fun for you. Your idea sounds lovely

Do what makes you happy.

You may find that some of your guests continue the party of their own accord once the wedding is over, without you needing to be there - can you get the best man or a bridesmaid or someone to coordinate a group booking at a local pub, for example, for those that do want to go for a meal (at their expense) and include their info on the invite?

Why don't you skip the whole evening if you are worrying about it?

Have an afternoon affair, where people come to the ceremony, then across for tea and cake, and then you leave when you want, as do the others.

It would be good if you could put some finger food on, and maybe some wine, but that's not going to cost much if you are allowed to bring it yourself and don't have to pay corkage. Much less expensive than a sit down meal somewhere.

You could bill it as an "afternoon tea party wedding".

To be honest, I think everyone has these sorts of worries about the evening bit., That no-one will want to dance. That people will be bored.

It's normal.

But if it's really worrying you then just let it go!

PS, sorry for double post, but if you need to get out of the church pronto, then could you just walk over to the nearest pub that you like together and hang out together there for the afternoon? Instead of wine and finger food, you could just put a little bit of money behind the bar. That way if some people want to eat, they can do so, if people just want to have a few drinks then they can.

Speak to the pub in advance to see if they can accomodate you. Most local places won't ask for a hire charge, as long as you don't mind not having exclusive use.

I hate parties so we avoided te whole rigmarole! We ha the big church wedding followed by an afternoon tea reception. In the evening, 20 of us went to a fine dining restaurant for an amazing meal.

I have been to two weddings that had no 'evening do'. The first was due to cost so a bunch of us went on into town after. The second was on Christmas Eve so the hotel shut and we all went home. Both were lovely and neither felt cut short in any way.

We had a late wedding followed by dinner and then we had a few drinks in the hotel. It was lovely, no stress about first dance etc :)