My partner and I are planning to get married next April. We will have been together twenty years, have two children and wish to celebrate with a small wedding consisting mainly of our immediate families. We haven’t told anyone yet. My dilemma is that over the past five years two of my brothers have had issues and ongoing conflict on and off with each other and with both my mother and my father (my parents divorced more than 30 years ago) and have proved to be quite difficult and argumentative. The worst altercation they had was a near physical row with offensive and abusive language at a get together we hosted over the Christmas holidays five years ago.
My partner and I are overall forgiving people and we do not wish to exclude anyone from our special day. I would hope my brothers would be able to put any feelings of animosity aside and keep their behavior in check on the day. I feel hopeful that things will run smoothly the day we marry but my partner and I are worried that underlying tensions may tarnish our day. How do we do the right thing but also ensure we have a relaxed and fun celebration on our special day? Should I write to them both separately?? Please help!