It's your day, do it how you want.... But obviously Glenda and Dennis will be invited won't they?

[Glendaanddennisarentinvited]

Who? Who the fuck are these bloody friends that simply must come to a wedding wheee they won't know anyone, haven't met the bride and haven't seen the groom for 20yrs

I'm looking at you future MIL. You're not paying. We are having 20 people. No Glenda and Dennis shouldn't expect an invite.

We had this from MIL. Oh you must invite them, they're your Dad's oldest friends. Oh and also them, they are also your Dad's oldest friends.
So in the end we invited 3 coupled of their choosing to the day and the rest were invited in the evening. They are used to big farming weddings where about 250 people come along....
But my mum has also just done this with my brothers wedding... because she is an only child has invited wanted to invite distant relations of hers to up the 'support' on her side.

Gah!

I can see why people elope!

It's so common unfortunately, no wonder weddings are up there with stressful events!

MIL has a huge circle of church friends as well as a massive extended family on DH's side. We got around it by giving them a set amount of invite spots for them to decide who was most important to them

Seemed to go okay but recently found out that 4yrs on from wedding some of the extended family still haven't been told we're actually married for fear of the 'upset' it might cause?!

Haha - that's funny. Like on Friends where Ross and Rachel talk about their fake wedding due to the offence his parents friends would take if the knew the truth

We had this. And same as you, 20 guests.
It was my mum who wanted friend so-and-so there.
She got it in the end, but only on the day when she had a lovely time and could see for herself that it wasn't the sort of 'do' for vague aquaintances (especially ones who like to dominate EVERY conversation).

We made a rule to fend off this nonsense:

Anyone who we have had dinner with in the last 12 months (or would normally have had dinner with in the last 12months except for their health problems/having been posted overseas by their work etc) were considered. Everyone else was automatically 'out' but then up to 6 extras each for people who 'had to be there'.

The logic here was that a reception is essentially just that, a meal and why would we pay for a meal for Doug and Mary, 'you know, Doug, with the hair, and Mary, who bought you the creme egg when you were 3'.

DH used 2 of his 3 on old family friends and then begged one of mine to invite his second cousins who then were the only guests to call off on the day. I used mine on my dad and stepmum (we are just really rubbish at arranging time together - I suspect it's genetic).

Neither DM or DMIL (the worst culprits) had a leg to stand on when they realised my own father had only just made the cut!

I am having this with future PILs. To the point where if one of my/OH's friends decline FIL is 'claiming' the spot for one of his friends. They have a massive family already, who had to be invited. Plus a random additional priest. Because one just isn't enough. Loads of my friends have unexpectedly declined (I should have known one was having a new bathroom put in, apparently). I am facing the prospect of turning around at the alter, newly married and knowing nobody in the pews. Which sucks. I'm really down about the whole thing. Why the fuck am I paying for dinner for a whole load of people I don't know.

When's the wedding Calor?

Have you got time to make adjustments?

End of Jan. no time to change really.

I had this too with my MIL. Ended up with 14 people myself and DH didn't know and not one of them came up to either of us to introduce themselves/say congratulations!! It was only for the evening but my poor mum couldn't have any friends as it was too far for them to travel just for an evening party. MIL stropped and sulked until we gave in!!

Ugh,wedding politics. Well done you for standing up to her! We had a big wedding as I have a big family,but still implemented our "if we haven't seen you in the last 5 years and you've not met both of us you're not coming" rule and offended so many distant cousins, great aunts etc - you'd think if they cared they'd have called or seen us in the previous 5 years! Then my mum invited her sibling who she doesn't like and we hadn't seen for 10years, thanks for that mum...

How are we all doing?