I have no clue about wedding stuff, help please!

[ConfusedPixie]

DP and I are getting married the summer after next so trying to work out what we need to save and do.

I have no idea where to get started though. I have no clue what a wedding needs to include. I really just want a list with absolutely everything that might be involved and budgeted for. I've found checklists but they all have different things on and some have things I'd find weird (three make up practices?!)

Help! Where do I get started?! I know where I want to marry and where I want the reception to be, but that's it

Just noticed that you said you were gluten-free! If you want a traditional wedding cake, you might want to look into this one from M&S too: www.marksandspencer.com/Romantic-Pearl-Gluten-Fruit-Wedding/dp/B00C10E6HU?ie=UTF8&ref=sr_1_17&nodeId=80083031&sr=1-17&qid=1372424090

My fiancé is gluten-free and I mostly eat gluten-free too so we're thinking about it!

Congratulations on your engagement!

Thanks! I'm hoping that the formally proposes in the next few months now! I kinda wish he had instead of setting a time when it will happen! But then I do like it being non-official but actually going to happen and knowing when it will happen now so I can wait and plan before then :)

bisto, sounds similar to what I'm liking when browsing, pom pom balls are pretty awesome

dinah: thanks for the gf cake link! I would like one of the tiers to be traditional, but neither of us actually like the stuff so I think we're going to have the other tier/s chocolate

Very good price too that cake!

Firstly, congratulations

I know you've had lots of hints and tips but really you need to set a budget and then you know where you are happy to spend and where you want to cut/save.

My close friend got married two years ago and we did a lot of stuff ourselves, rather than spend £££ on things that were relatively unimportant.

If it hasn't already been said, have a look on pinterest! I got married ages ago before it existed, otherwise I'd have had boards for different aspects. As it was I did mood boards and a folder which included budget/spending, and various DIY articles.

I had a lovely three tier chocolate cake which was served with cream for pudding at the reception. There was none left over as lots of people had seconds :( we got it from a local bakery.

OP the curry idea is great, as is your street food idea. We went to a dear friends' wedding in a gorgeous Somerset farmhouse, all very English country garden, hats, seemingly very traditional - and then the dinner was this amazing buffet of food from Ghana! Neither bride nor groom had a Ghanaian connection - they had just been to a festival, loved the food from this Ghanaian food truck, asked whether they did catering and went from there. Everyone loved it, it was so different and positively delicious.

We saved shedloads by not having a sit down dinner - just a lavish buffet and find your own seating which also meant people could move around as they ate and chat to each other, no fixed seats which meant no seating plan which meant less hassle all round. We had a cake of cheese too that we ordered online and the caterer stacked into a tower for us, which was cheap as chips compared to the wedding cakes we saw.

We also talked to parents first, set a firm budget, and then each wrote down a list of three priority things that we cared about and three we didn't. That meant that when I looked at wedding blogs (I loved A Practical Wedding) and Pinterest and finally succumbed to one wedding magazine, I didn't get my head turned by lovely things.

Our list IIRC was:
Things that matter: Lots of food. Open bar. No day/evening guest distinction to maximise guest list.
Things that don't matter: Flowers. Favours. Expensive dress.

Oh crikey can't believe I forgot to mention budget! Absolutely agree that the budget needs to be sorted from the word 'go'. Doesn't matter if its £5000 or £25000 you fit your wedding to match.

We figured out what we could save and our parents gave us a bit of money too. We were determined not to get into debt because of our wedding so the budget was pretty modest. We also didn't go on honeymoon until four months later to save up for that!

Really like the idea of glass painting. I forgot to mention but I also glued strips of ribbon to jam jars to make tea light holders and mini vases. My friends saved jars for the 6 months and I had about 30 jars!

If you want to have a look at my Pinterest board my username is schnockles.

Mmm Indian street food... Sounds cracking

I had artificial flowers due to hay fever and the looked lush and I still hav them
I got a plain iced M&s cake and decorated with ribbon and iced butterflies
My sweet table was a big hit and a much cheaper alternative to canapés got the sweets from cash and carry and bowls from ikea and borrowed of friends!
Also made bunting for decs
I got cheap shoes I cud wear again
An alternative for getting into debt (I can't think of a worse way to start marred life personaly!) was to hav a small mini mood after and to wait 6mth to hav our proper honey moon as we cud save a bit more and used some of our wedding money. It was also a nice way to beat the postwedding blues!
ALSo don't get conned into getting an expensive photo book from the photographer make sure u ge a copy right free cd of te photos and use one of te many sites e.g. Photo box they are really good and really easy to do.

1 or 2 makeup trials are the norm.
When choosing a makeup artist look to see if their work is of the same consistent quality and if their portfolio reflect the type of makeup styles you are looking to try out.

Look at the makeup brands they are using and if the prices they are asking match i.e if they are claiming to use dior or MAC, but are charging £20 -£35 per person isn't prob fake or they have that brand of foundation in one shade only!!!

Ask if they qualified and insured too

Pro makeup artists will charge more than hobbyists, but it is worth paying a little extra for a pro.

hope this helps! xx

** meant to say .. it IS prob fake NOT isn't fake!!

Admittedly I'm not having a make up artist, I don't wear make up usually and want minimal on the day so will ask DPs sister to do it as she'll be a newly qualified make-up artist by then! Having been orange for my sister's wedding in 2011 I have no intention of letting a professional cake make up on me, I hate the feel of the stuff

They were crap if u didn't look or feel right! That's why u hav a tral (or 2!)
But if u hav someone who can do it well fr free thats brill! Does she do hair?

I recommend this haberdashery website for all things bridal and crafty. I have made invitations for friends and family and have bought lots of stuff from them. The satin ribbon is lovely and the diamanté s are really sparkly.

Oh I should have said congratulations too. Lovely news Pixie

So budget budget budget. Bollocks. I think that both DP and I would agree on food being a big one. Looking into the venue it might come nearer to £2000 for that and the registrar alone so that may have to change :(

I don't really want to spend a huge amount as I want to be realistic and save for a house, but I am finding it difficult to work out what that would mean wedding wise! Things like how much to budget for food per head, because £30 per head with 50 people is £1500 but I can't imagine how you'd get that amount lowered as surely it'd cost that for the main meal alone?! I would prefer the evening do to be self catered, buy from cash and carries and the cheese feast direct from the wholesalers, etc.

It shocks me how my sister washappy to get a £10k loan out to cover the cost of her wedding when they wanted to save for a house too, i don't understand it but I can understand how it transpired with how costly everything is!

Karin I've been browsing your pintrest and there are some funky thingson there, love the tree cakes!

catherine: I wouldn't ever feel right in make up tbh so I think that factors in on how I felt (though the orange was disturbing!) and how I feel about it wrt my own wedding!

Thanks woolly :)

Just an off the wall idea. Is it possible to have the latest possible slot at a registry office then do the photos and got to a venue (eg a village hall type place) for pre-dinner drinks, meal at say 6ish & the evening thing straight after at about 9pm. Cuts out the need for two lots of food. Guests just coming for the evening do can attack the cheese cake plus a buffet of puddings?
Might work, depending on the type of guests you have.

As long as the guests know when the dinner will be they will eat accordingly.

For every item really think whether you need it.

Also, just googled Kate Middleton Wedding Invitation. It's a plain printed card, not a hand crafted bejewelled thing with ribbons and hand pressed flowers. It is enough.

Glad you like the Pinterest board! I love wedding stuff (especially cheap and DIY wedding stuff) so will keep pinning even though I'm married already!

Call in as many favours as you can, like you're doing for your make up.

But yes, budget is key. It's really boring and sensible but figure out what you have, what you can save (you've got over a year of saving which is great!) and if parents can or want to help out. I'm personally of the opinion that a wedding should be what you can afford and it would suck up start married life in debt. My DH is now thankful that I was indeed boring and sensible about this as I ended up getting pregnant two weeks after we got married!!

*it would suck TO start married life in debt

I have various boards on pinterest - some have craft things, and one is specifically for friends including one who is getting married later in the year. You can find me here.

Sutton that's how most weddings are done in the US and how we did ours here - no day/evening divide. We got married at 4.30pm, done by 5.30 and then straight into drinks and canapés at 6pm, fork buffet dinner at 7pm, speeches while buffet cleared away and dessert brought out, cake of cheese cut around 8.30pm and caterers arranged then cheese into a cheeseboard, music started and went till 1am. People grazed at the cheeseboard the whole rest of the night so we didn't need any more food later in the evening.

Totally stealing all of your pins and travel pins Mrscosmo

I had already replied but it seems I must've not sent it

Suttonmum: I'll be having a chat with DP about the meals and maybe a later thing when he gets home from his holiday as I think it might be a good way for us to save money. & I think I'll probably get my sister to do my invites, she made hers and they were very simple with a single strip of ribbon and single bead glued to the front :) Very nice! DP had his still until recently when we discovered it with a load of other things that got ruined by mould from our old house (bad ventilation, glad to have moved!) :(

Karin: I agree with you RE debt! I really don't see the point! It's not worth it!

right: vital things are food, drink and seating - all else is faff.

£10/head for food can be done, a takeaway curry is less than that and you will get a discount on volume.

you need a bar, people are happy to pay, can provide free soft drinks

seating and tables - do not need a plan, but where people can sit and eat comfortably - ensure wedding venue has this - much more important tha n the 'look' of the place

champagne for the toasts -a case would do 50 people

get these things right and people will have a great time - they are your guests

anyone who gets snippy sbout flowers or favours or such bolloxs gets deleted from the guest list - not worth getting in debt for

read this thread for what not to do

carol: Thanks :)

I'm thinking £6000 is going to be a realistic budget. That's with the ceremony venue coming in at £1200-£1500 and budgeting £1500 for food (based on 50 people at £30 a head, so maximum budget) and £1500 for reception at most, preferably a lot less though.

Just need to find a reception venue that would enable us to serve own food/drinks and prepare the day before. Ideally if not DPs choice reception venue (which thinking on it logistically now, is likely not to happen) then a village hall or barn type place would be perfect. A nice open space to have the main meal and a cheese board 'buffet' later on with a sweet table too. Where we could have some comfy seating and dance floor too. I suppose a marquee would work too actually as long as there were decent toilets nearby! Maybe a restaurant or pub with a good function room.

Loving this thread! Getting so many ideas. I am getting married August next year and although I am hysterically excited about it I too have no clue about wedding stuff. I google a lot and find wedding ideas magazine the best one. My ideas for colour scheme, favours and centre pieces have changed about 6 times! Like a few of you on here OH and I don't want a massive over the top wedding, it's going to be very small, 25 day guests.