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Original poster

Post marriage 'reception'

11 replies

badblueeyeliner · 01/06/2013 17:39

Hi everyone. DP and I would like to get married but probably on our own, town hall job. We probably wouldn't tell anyone first. We're not a proposal/ring/announcement couple.

But I would like a party afterwards. Any ideas how we could do this? Would a pub be ok? (It'd be a naice pub). Restaurant? Would we send formal invites? Do people expect a gift list? Should it be a 'we've got married come to our party' thing or what do we call it? Should we put on food? Some money behind the bar?

All ideas gratefully received!

OP posts:

RhondaJean · 01/06/2013 17:41

What would you like to do? What can you afford?

You could invite everyone to an engagement party then surprise everyone!

scaevola · 01/06/2013 17:43

Yes, for a party like this anything goes!

I'd aim for the push-the-boat-out version of e sort of party you'd hold for any other occasion.

Are you planning on holding it on the day of the wedding, or a little while after (that might affect how you word invitations)? I'd stand food, and enough drink for a toast (more if you can afford it).

PoppyWearer · 01/06/2013 17:48

Friends-of-a-friend threw a "just because" party and announced at the party that they had got married. They'd had a small register-office do with close family only.

Everyone who went said it was brilliant, and it completely lifted any obligations around presents and so on. I thought that sounded so cool wish we had thought of that.

But if you want presents, go for it. Do what you want, it's your wedding party!

Jenijena · 01/06/2013 17:53

We had a not-wedding party the week after. Invited everyone by Facebook or email, wore jeans, venue did a BBQ and we hired a bouncy castle and had a little disco. Great fun. Specified no presents, but if people really wanted to, a charity we supported.

Original poster

badblueeyeliner · 01/06/2013 17:57

Jeni - did you invite people to a 'not wedding' party or just a 'party'?

Sounds good Poppy - where did they do it?

We'd like something low key but better than a normal 'drinks and food rounds ours' sort of thing. And on budget, we haven't decided one yet. I know that's not helpful! We don't have much money and are saving what we have for a house and kids hopefully!

OP posts:

PoppyWearer · 01/06/2013 18:05

A pub or restaurant I think. It was a while ago!

Jenijena · 02/06/2013 09:14

We said 'to celebrate the fact we'll have been together for eight years (and married for eight days) we are holding a party ....' And went on to explain other stuff including the fact that it was not a wedding, and thus presents/dressing /ridiculous wedding crap were not expected. It was then renamed the not-wedding party by some friends.

Bonus was that because it was cheap (BBQ at DH's staff club) we could invite loads of people and have money left for a great holiday.

Jenijena · 02/06/2013 09:16

I know someone else who had reg off wedding and lunch with family, and hired a pub function room, elbows impersonator for the evening. Ultimately it's your day and surely I can't be the only person who hates buying stuff from a John Lewis gift list in return for a mediocre meal I haven't been able to choose at a 'unique' venue that looks just like everywhere else?

Original poster

badblueeyeliner · 02/06/2013 11:29

You certain aren't the only person! I'm off to my second wedding in the last few weeks next weekend and I know it's going to be just the same as the first! I would much rather go to a party.

Thank you for the info!

OP posts:

Pandemoniaa · 03/06/2013 12:26

When we got married the other week (after nearly 18 years together!) we had a family ceremony in the Town Hall followed by lunch. In the evening we invited all our friends to what we described as "Wedding Celebrations - A Good Night In The Pub!". Having chosen a really nice pub with good beer and plenty of space the evening went brilliantly. At least 150-200 people turned up across the evening and we put several hundred pounds behind the bar. All in all, much more fun and actually, far less expensive than any sort of formal do that would have meant calculating numbers and not being able to invite all the people we wanted. Everyone who went has said it was absolutely brilliant.

So I'd advise something similar.

Original poster

badblueeyeliner · 03/06/2013 14:18

That sounds great! I've started having a look at local pubs to see if any of them hire out rooms and stuff. Have also been wondering if there's anything we can do to make it a bit more 'special' than a birthday party style night but no ideas yet!

Suppose we should decide when to do it aswell. There's a great pub I've seen with a covered and heated garden as well as room but could be a little cold in autumn/winter

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