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Original poster

A VERY LOW budget wedding!

84 replies

debandkids3 · 08/03/2013 12:03

I am getting married next year on a very low budget.. I am wondering if anyone has had a wedding reception at a pub and got the guests to pay for their own 'price per head'? I know it sounds cheap but thats all i can do, cheap. please can you help me? Thank you! X

OP posts:
NorksAreMessy · 10/03/2013 07:55

Oooh, and there was a LOVELY thing suggested by one Mumsnetter who was handed a flower by each of her relatives and friends and they made up her bouquet, all random and colourful and meaningful. I love that idea

Jayne266 · 10/03/2013 07:57

Sorry I don't think I could ever ask people to pay for the food at a wedding.

I hired a room cheap but their buffet price was too expensive so I searched online and found a cheaper alternative.

Lurkymclurker · 10/03/2013 07:57

We are having a low budget wedding in may 2014 too :)

We are basically doing things now as we can, have you thought about catering your buffet now? Buying a bit of food and freezing (depends on dates of course) and a beer or two as previously suggested might be a good idea :)

I recently went to a low budget wedding where the bride had made the most of everything! Favours were cupcakes made by a friend giving everyone something to nibble on to start, decorations were home made bunting from scrap fabric, love hearts cut out of newspaper scattered all over the place and cheap chalk boards placed all over for people to write messages.

A friend with a camera set up a photos booth and her hair was styled by college students and makeup done by a friend.

I think what I'm saying is call on everyone you can, you will be surprised at what skills your nearest and dearest have!

Personally I would rather make/provide something than be asked to pay for my own meal Smile

thistlelicker · 10/03/2013 08:01

When I got married, we only invited 15 people to wedding, we went to the pub next door which I think was a whether spoons, let everyone order off menu and paid for it and a round of drinks! We spent around a grand in our wedding

saintlyjimjams · 10/03/2013 08:03

A friend had a post wedding picnic. Looked lovely. You could get away with that in July

saintlyjimjams · 10/03/2013 08:07

Tbh I would do something pot luck. So if you provide say champers and some nibbles/salads/cakes then ask people to being either a bottle or food rather than a wedding present. Bet you'll get a huge spread.

And no-one could be offended!

And I'd prob go for a church hall - they're very cheap.

Zoomania · 10/03/2013 08:09

Have you considered hiring a village hall? Our local one is about 30 pounds for 3 hrs and is lovely. You can do bring your own booze and I am sure most friends wouldn't mind providing a platter of something and gradually stock pile nibbles etc. hen do could include making crafty table decorations eg jam jars and ribbons and tea lights etc, or bunting.

Hopeforever · 10/03/2013 08:10

Just wanted to say how happy it has made me to know that you and your DH to be are putting your marriage above money! It's fantastic that you are not planning on starting your married life with huge debt.

Personally I would far prefer to be invited to the wedding of a friend and pay for my drinks than not go.

As long as you make it clear on the invite what is provided and what needs paying for then your friends and family can make their own minds up if they want to pay and make the effort to travel

Having been to a few low cost weddings as Vicar, I have seen as much joy and celebration in a back garden buffet as a three course sit down meal with wine flowing.

At marriage preparation we keep saying, keep focused on the reason for the day rather than the day alone

Have a wonderful time planning

pinkmagic1 · 10/03/2013 08:11

Congratulations! How about a fish and chip supper? I went to a party once and they did this, it was great! I am half way through a cake decorating course, I currently make them for friends and family but hope to be doing them proffessionally soon. I am in nots so depending on where you are in Derbyshire I would be more than happy to do your cake. Would have to charge you for the ingrediants but that is all.

TinyDiamond · 10/03/2013 08:59

well seeing as you are in such a beautiful county I would definitely go for hiring a village hall with a green and do the bring a dish thing. plenty of wine you've bought, cakes friends have made and then some games or a bouncy castle on the green if there's any children?

I am in a county next door to you and when I looked into church hall prices it was somewhere between £50-£150 for the day. the only downside to this is that if you wanted a nighttime party you wouldn't be able to go on late.

you could also look into getting a hog roast and then ask guests to still contribute bowls of salad/crisp etc. people will be quite generous I think. my friend is having a festival type wedding in a field after mine and even though its on the south coast we are still happy to take down food contributions

Original poster
debandkids3 · 10/03/2013 09:02

Thank you Norks, i have PM you.

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BikeRunSki · 10/03/2013 09:02

Hopeforever, what a lovely post. I totally agree too, I have been to an amazingly slick, smart wedding that can't have had much change from £30K. Also afternoon tea in the church hall. Both were lovely.

Astleyleighmum · 10/03/2013 09:04

I had a registry office (cost £50) wore my grans dress and had the reception at home!

My friend had their reception in a social club and just paid for a buffet, everyone bought their own drinks.

Astleyleighmum · 10/03/2013 09:06

Afternoon tea in village hall sounds lovely! and would be cheap to do too.

AryaStarksDancingMaster · 10/03/2013 09:08

I've been to two weddings where the couple asked the guests to bring & share buffet food and/or a bottle, in leiu of gifts. They were both really lovely occasions, especially as everyone was there because they genuinely loved and supported the couple rather than there being a few hangers-on who were there because of being distantly related to them and out for the free booze.

Original poster
debandkids3 · 10/03/2013 09:08

I would just like to thank you all for your advice, tips and best wishes. Hopeforever, i thank you so much for such a lovely post, i see it as if we love each other no amount of money can show that, money doesn't buy happiness in my eyes. Again thank you all so much (thanks)

OP posts:
Original poster
debandkids3 · 10/03/2013 09:14

Thank you very much pinkmagic, i shall PM you. I am new to Mumsnet and i cant believe how generous everyone is. I appreciate all your offers, means so much, thank you :)

OP posts:
littlemissengaged · 10/03/2013 19:20

keep your eye on groupon

im in notts and there have been loads of wedding offer.

one on now for Mansfield, 3 course meal for 50 day and 80 night on offer for £1500

we found our photographer on there

Original poster
debandkids3 · 10/03/2013 20:28

Thank you littlemiss, a few friends have told me to look on there too. I'll have a look in morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
debandkids3 · 10/03/2013 20:57

There's so many great ideas that's been given, I will take them all into account. From one Mumsnetter to others, I thank you all so much and I am very greatful for all you opinions and advive. X

OP posts:
aufaniae · 11/03/2013 07:17

"Don't invite people if you can't afford to pay for them."

This attitude is what's wrong with modern weddings IMO.

The most important bit of a wedding is the statement of commitment between two people, witnessed by friends and family who mean something to the couple. Drinks, food etc are just fluff. Very nice fluff, but fluff all the same, whether it's cost the couple £30K or £30.

I would much rather pay my own way and be there to witness friends I cared about getting married, than be excluded because they were worried about not being able to afford to buy me a drink! Any real friends don't need to be bought, and will understand you want to actually get married, not wait till you have some money to put on a display of wealth.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest!

I think some of the suggestions on this thread are lovely, and I may well steal for my own wedding :)

"if we love each other no amount of money can show that, money doesn't buy happiness in my eyes."

Absolutely :) It sounds like it will be a lovely day. I'd much rather be at your wedding where it's about people and love, than one where it's become all about matching napkins, flowers and bridesmaids dresses (which at least one of them inevitably hates because she's being made to display her bingo-wings to the world) at the expense of what really matters.

TobyLerone · 11/03/2013 08:12

The important part of a wedding is that the couple get married. Friends and family witnessing it... that is 'fluff'. Nothing about the day is more important than the actual marriage. You are no less married if you pull 2 strangers in off the street as witnesses.

So, if you want people there to celebrate with you, that's lovely. But it's odd to 'sell tickets' for your reception by saying "please come to our wedding. That'll be £8.95 each, please".

There are many ways around not doing that, and there are some great ideas on this thread.

Original poster
debandkids3 · 11/03/2013 08:20

All each to their own. I have family and friends that are willing to do 'pay £8.95 ph' if I was going for that option. Yes they are your opinions and I appreciate everyones opinion.

OP posts:
TobyLerone · 11/03/2013 08:33

Of course you have people who are willing to pay. I'm sure most of us do. Doesn't mean it's not weird to ask them to.

Anyway, luckily you put this in Weddings, not _Chat or AIBU.
You'd barely have left those boards alive with this question :o

aufaniae · 11/03/2013 09:45

Most weddings costs the guests money one way or another, and I would hazard a guess that many expensive paid-for weddings cost the attendees more than budget pay-you-own-way weddings do.

I've been invited to a wonderful wedding with everything paid for, it looks amazing. Once you get there that is, it's in Thailand! Plane fares to Thailand are slightly more than £8.95 last time I looked.

Another all-paid-for wedding I went to, cost us £200 in hotel fees.

Anyone who resents paying £8.95 to attend a wedding for someone who means something to them is an arse IMHO.