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Original poster

how many bridesmaids/flowergirls/page boys etc is 'normal'?

18 replies

sillyily · 01/08/2012 21:41

Getting married Dec next year. Not in a church, but in the venue.

I have asked my sister and sister in law to be to be bridesmaids so far, and will have ds (will be 4) and dd (will be 1.5) as page boy&flower girl.

I really would like to ask two of my closest friends to be bridesmaids too, to thank them for everything they have done for me recently and over the past few years. I would also love my nieces and nephews to be included as we are very close to them (and I want dn(then 6) to throw petals! Blush) which would take it up to 2 flower girls, 2 page boys (and there is one unborn so not sure!)

The venue is quite grand and open, but the aisle is fairly short - so I am worrying if I have all these thousands of people traipsing up, will it look like I am part of a crowd or something?!

There will be around 120 attending, so fairly big.

Opinions? Should I just leave as is?
Is there another way I can include all other people to show them they are special?

TIA :)

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 01/08/2012 21:50

TBVH, I think 2 bridesmaids, a flower girl and a pageboy is enough - 4 BMs and 5 littlies is a bit over the top

Original poster
sillyily · 01/08/2012 21:59

That's what I am thinking too... DF reckons 4 bridesmaids and then our 2 dc... will sleep on it for a few months... Wink in no hurry just yet! :)

OP posts:
ClicksArse · 02/08/2012 07:14

The number you have is probably enough. Could you ask friends and children to do readings or act as ushers perhaps?

Saying that, a combination of circumstance, too many close friends, indecisiveness and cute children meant our wedding party comprised one matron of honour, two maids of honour, two flower girls, two pageboys and four best men at a registry office wedding Blush and it was perfect for us and we wouldn't have changed it for the world!

Having that many people involved also meant that I had plenty of people to delegate to and our very handmade, put together piece-by-piece day ran like clockwork Grin

roisin · 02/08/2012 07:30

Think about costs too. BMs and page boys, flower girls etc all need outfits, shoes, hair doing, head dresses, bouquets, transport to the venue, etc.

sashh · 02/08/2012 08:15

Have as many as you want.

If the aisle is short then why not do the american thing and have the pageboys and flower girls go in first, then the bridesmaids then you.

Or have some in front and some behind.

Original poster
sillyily · 02/08/2012 11:03

Yeah I was thinking of that sashh, my friend did that and it worked well..

roisin I'm probably going to let my BM's choose their own dresses, so they can pay a percentage of that, and for transport, we are jsut going to get a limo as noone wil see me arriving, and we won't need the car afterwards...

clicks I like the reading idea.... just a nice poem or something i assume as its not in a church?

did all that backwards :o

OP posts:
ClicksArse · 02/08/2012 17:46

Yes Silyily you can have whatever you want as long as it isn't religious. We had a winter wedding and went for [http://www.weddingplanningwords.com/index-of-wedding-ceremony-poetry/wedding-ceremony-poetry-the-promise.html The Promise] as the sentiment was really appropriate, the first line seemed appropriate and I knew that those who knew us best would really appreciate it and how meaningful it is to us.

My 6 year old DSS however was the one who brought the house down when he sat on the shoulders of one of the best men and delivered the second reading which was [http://quotationsbook.com/quote/25484/ This]

(You may have figured out by now that my wedding was a little "quirky" in places Grin )

ClicksArse · 02/08/2012 17:50

Woah! Epic link fail Blush. Let's try...

The Promise

This

MerryCosIWonaGold · 02/08/2012 17:55

Well, I had 7 grown up bridesmaids, 2 little girls and 2 little boys. I had a lot of friends and I wanted them all to be really involved.

roughtyping · 02/08/2012 18:02

Exactly the same here OP! So far I have asked my closest friend and it's just been assumed Hmm that my 2 sisters will be bridesmaids (dreading that!). My DS will be page boy (actually, he'll be 10 - is that still ok???) and my cousin will be flower girl. I really want to ask another friend to be bridesmaid as well but my family keep saying it's too much...

LoveBox · 02/08/2012 21:20

I have four big ones, and seven little girl ones (aged 3 - 12)
DP has six big ones and six male little ones.

I'm come from a family of 7, DP of 12. We either had to have all the nieces/nephews, or none. We see them every day and adore them, so we went with all!! Fuck what people think, the kids are happy and so are we!

DeterminedandSpecialMum · 02/08/2012 21:23

I'm getting married in 2 weeks and I have 4 adult bridesmaids, DD1 (aged 7) and my best friends DD (aged 7), my DD2 7months old and 1 page boy. That is plenty for us Smile

meditrina · 02/08/2012 21:31

Have who you want, but think about the choreography.

Very small toddlers perhaps just have special outfits, and appear in photos - going up the aisle could be just too overwhelming.

Bigger toddlers need an adult 'minder' each (or one to two). I wouldn't rely on one to go up the aisle unattended until about 6ish.

So you'll need those bigger ones for crowd control! Perhaps one big with two littles holding hands on each side?

Would you get a workable formation like that?

MerryCosIWonaGold · 03/08/2012 08:09

My ds1 went down the aisle holding his cousin's hand for a family wedding. He was 4 (going on 5) and she was 2.5. It worked ok. Depends how shy the kids are generally. I'm not sure my current 3.5 year old could do it as she's quite shy.

Original poster
sillyily · 04/08/2012 21:28

My ds is fairly shy, but gets very very over excited when with his older cousin so may be an idea to keep them away anyway Grin

Can't see links on my phone but looking forward to reading those Smile

I might ask my venue what they think, as obviously they might have seen some horrendous processions on such a small aisle with a massive wedding party....

Dmil is quite religious and dp thinks she will want to do a religious reading- would this be odd at a non religious ceremony?? I don't mind either way - I want her to feel as included as possible....

OP posts:
EugenesAxe · 04/08/2012 21:44

I didn't read what you are planning in order not to influence my answer, which is that I would be surprised at any number outside 1-5 (inclusive). But a caveat being if you have 5, you would need 1-2 of them to be little ones to avoid me being at all surprised.

Having said all that, the number of bridesmaids would be something I'd be entirely unjudgemental about in the long term; an unusual number would only ever be a conversation point.

EugenesAxe · 04/08/2012 21:58

And I could be wrong, but I thought civil ceremonies explicitly do not allow religious music or texts.

Shakespeare's Marianne Dashwood sonnet (114?) is classic & non-religious.

Original poster
sillyily · 08/08/2012 07:26

Just found out that my 2dc's aren't involved with sil's wedding so I shall reciprocate and that makes life a bit easier :)

I'll have a look at that verse when on my computer Grin

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