4pm wedding

[ButterPopcorn]

We have just booked our wedding for April next year- very exciting, lots to decide!

The earliest we can have the ceremony at the venue we have booked is 4pm, as it's open to the public during the day. I like this as it means it's not a long drawn out day with lots of waiting around etc. Guests can begin arriving at 3.30pm and mill around having a drink before the ceremony at 4pm.

What I am beginning to (ever-so-slightly) panic about is the guest list and how it is going to work. I thought that as it is a later start, there isn't really any point in having "day" guests and "night" guests- i.e. the day guests being there for the ceremony at 4pm and then the night guests arriving either at 6pm in time for the food (which is a hot buffet) or at 8pm after the food.

I think that all just seems a bit crammed in, with it being quite a short day from 4pm- if anything ran on by ten minutes here and there then we may find that night guests start appearing while we were finishing off food or half way through speeches, which might be a bit awkward. So I thought it would just be simpler and nicer to have everybody there from the start.

However, DP has said there are a few people he would fancy inviting along to the party, but that he wouldn't necessarily want at the ceremony (work colleagues etc). He feels it would make for more of a party atmosphere if there were more people there dancing, drinking etc but as he's quite shy he doesn't want hoardes of acquaintances watching the actual vows. I can see his point and there are a few people, such as my own work colleagues or friends of my parents etc that could fall into that category.

So what to do?! Have just the people we would want at the ceremony there all day? Have the people we want at the ceremony and then the acquaintances to arrive in time for the food? Have the people we want at the ceremony then the acquaintances to arrive after the food for the party (we will be having nibbles later on too)? Or have the people we want AND the acquaintances attend the ceremony so all there from 4pm and plenty of people to party?!

Sorry this is so long and has so many options!! Any experience of this, or thoughts/advice would be very much appreciated!!

Hm i'd feel a bit bad inviting people but not feeding them, so something like close friends/family for ceremony, then everyone for evening meal. Interested to see what others say though!

We had a 4pm ceremony, then all walked over to the pub across the road for a buffet, free bar (thanks Dad!) and dancing. It was BRILLIANT, and not too formal at all because everyone was bladdered by 7pm

I would have close family and friends at the ceremony if that is what your DP would be happier with, then everyone for food and dancing afterwards.

I had a 4pm ceremony with less guests at ceremony and here is what I did:-

3pm Photographs of me and DH before the service (not to everyones taste but we got married in winter and wanted to get married at sunset but also wanted pics outside. Also I hated the idea of everyone hanging around while we posed for pics)
3.45 I went to check makeup etc while DH greeted guests and they all took their seats etc
4.00 Ceremony
4.30 Champagne and canapes (during this time photographer took some pics and we did a few family shots)
6.00 Drinks reception for all guests (I only had family and my 5 best friends at ceremony)
7.00 Dinner
9.00 Dancing etc

It worked very well but it helps massively if there is a good events organiser on site to make sure it all runs smoothly.

Thank you for your replies!!

I had always thought we would have a really small ceremony with very close family. One thing that has sort of put a spanner in the works there is that I have a lot of family abroad- I had never expected they would all travel over for the wedding as it would be a huge financial and organisational commitment for them. However, they are all really excited and are talking about booking flights, making a big trip of it etc, which is great as it would be lovely to have them all here, but I feel like if they come from thousands of miles away then we can't very well say "you're not invited to the ceremony". Then that also sets a precedent for same relatives from DP's side to be invited to the ceremony.

So- two "votes" for ceremony with family and close friends (around 70 people with family from here, family from abroad, close friends) and then others (around another 40 people- less close friends, work colleagues, parents' friends etc) to arrive after the ceremony at around 6pm in time for hot buffet and party to follow.

This does sound good. Luckily there is no issue with "capping" numbers so can have as many as we want at the ceremony- I can envisage a handful of friends that it will be difficult to decide whether they are close enough for the ceremony!!

Thank you AngryFeet, it is really useful to see a timeline like that! Looks great. Anyone else have a timeline of their 4pm wedding?!

We got married at 3 and had a sit down meal for 30 odd in the pool side room
Then a big party in the upstairs room in the evening.
We did not have the ceremony at the same place, so there was travelling in between times.
I do remember some evening guests arriving while we were still downstairs, just finishing coffee.
It may be worth sitting writing a guest list and seeing how many people you will want to invite to "day" and "evening"
If there are more on the day list, it may be worth having just one big party with all invited.
We did get married 16 years ago though, so things may have changed a lot.

I think good friends and family who have travelled far would want to come to the ceremony, but work collegues etc (especially if they live local) would be perfectly happy to come for the evening- say 8pm. Its really just like inviting people to an evening party. Doesn't take up their all their day - but still join in the fun.

Thank you for replies!

Moomoomie that is one thing I would worry about if evening guests were to arrive after food, as it is all in one place (well there are a few different areas where people could wait I suppose). But say it was getting on for 8pm when I knew evening guests were due to arrive but we hadn't yet had coffees or my Dad was half way through his speech then I would be on edge, thinking "come on, get on with it!" which wouldn't be great obviously!! Or maybe I wouldn't, maybe I wouldn't even think of it... I just don't know.

Igetcrazytoo- thanks for that, I think as long as less close friends and work colleagues etc knew they weren't going to be fed (well apart from nibbles- cheese and crackers etc later on) then they'd be fine and just be up for a bit of a party.

I'm going to email the events planner at the venue and ask for 4 quotes based on my different options, and am also going to start making some lists of names!!

Hi Butter good luck with the planning and hope it goes well. I've posted our (err, quite detailed...) timetable for a 3.00pm wedding below and hope it helps.

If you've got an event organiser at the venue and they're organised that will help you keep to time. We organised everything ourselves but we made sure the best men/bridesmaids etc. were well-briefed and we also spent time talking through timings with the caterers.

Because we asked friends to travel to the middle of nowhere in Yorkshire (where I grew up) we invited everyone (90) people to the whole thing.

A good thing we did (I think) was doing our speeches before dinner. The main reason was so that none of us would be worried about being too drunk before hand and we were able to have a good/relaxing time before say 8.00pm if that makes sense. It also meant that everyone kept their speeches pretty short as they knew dinner needed to be served at 6.00pm. Others might like long speeches but I've endured a few pretty dull 50 min speeches at weddings in my time... The speeches were a real highlight for me so it worked for us.

11.30am - bridesmaid arrive at my home. Plenty of time for brunch/make-up/hair etc.
1.15pm - Groom and best men arrive at church. Pose for photos. Eat lunch that the nice church ladies made for them (everyone gets very excited about a 'village' wedding and wants to help out...). Head off to pub next to church until around 2.00pm.
1.45pm - Guests welcome to have tea/coffee/sandwiches/cake in the church or to join groom party in pub
2.15pm Photographer arrives to take pictures of bridal party at home
2.30pm Guests start sitting down in church
2.45pm Bridesmaids depart for church
2.50pm Bride and Dad depart for church
2.55pm Ready to go!
3.00pm Ceremony
3.45pm Recessional at end of service
3.45pm-4.00pm Chatting and walking over to reception venue
4.00pm Drinks and canapes (we did a few photos outside whilst this was happening)
5.15pm - guests asked to sit down for dinner
5.25pm - speeches (we managed 5 in 35 mins!)
6.00pm - dinner served
7.15pm - cake cutting
7.30pm - tables cleared/dancefloor 'created' and first dance
8.00pm - cheese, biscuits, fruit and cake set out

Thank you so much for your timeline Teds77! Really helpful. I love the village feel of your wedding, I bet it was beautiful.
I have just booked the registrar for 4pm in the day of our wedding - so excited, I just wish it was this April not next April!