Tips for a relaxed and fun wedding

[lesley33]

We are getting married in late summer in a registry office. We have been together for 21 years. We are planning to invite about 60 family/friends and as there will be about 20 people travelling from a distance my DP thinks we need to at least give them a proper sit down meal.

We want a fun and relaxed weddding, but can't decide on the details. What would you do to make a wedding fun and relaxed?

do you have a local civic hall, masonic hall or football club (not premiership status more like your local lower division team) that cater for functions?

we had our's in our local civic hall. it was late sprint and as the weather was nice they opened the room doors for people to sit outside. we still had our sit down three course meal but as it wasnt a fancy restaurant/hotel it was less formal. the food was basic - soup, chicken or beef with veg and a selection of desserts, as it was also not a fancy place we had more of a say as to what music, decorations etc we wanted and in some instances provided our own.

the other advantage of where we had it was no one was complaining when the children "ran riot" outside on the grass and they didnt have to be on their best behaviour, we had those long balloons you blow up and let go flying round the room and bubbles on the tables to entertain adults and children alike!

alternatively, if you dont want a sit down three course meal what about a sort of get up and get it carvery? people can then sit where they want and also mingle

oh, is this the same one that was on here last night?

Scatter lots of chairs and tables informally round the place, so to avoid a seating plan.

Informality much the best, IMO. We gave everyone a large tea - a northern wedding where people had travelled miles- so tea as well as champagne, egg sandwiches and salmon rolls as well as cake etc; buffet as well as waiters with plates. And no seating arrangements, just instructions to various people to make sure Aunt Mary or whoever was not left out. Everyone partied for ages. We regretted leaving.

And no dress instructions.

Hadn't considered not having a seating plan - obvious really not to. Wouldn't dream of issuing dress instructions to guests. It seems quite rude to and I have never been to a wedding that did this.

countydurhamlass - Our civic hall offers pricey upmarket wedding receptions unfortunately. Exactly what I don't want. Yours sounds great.

Do you have a favourite restaurant that has a friendly, relaxed feel? If you need to get married at the weekend then this may not be an option, but if midweek maybe they can offer a private function. Let them know that you've chosen them because their restaurant has the friendly/relaxed feel and thats the format you'd like (just in case they think you want a formal meal)

The other best wedding I went to was one where the couple didn't have much money and rather than guests provide a present could they be responsible for a different part of the wedding. So the male friend with the nice car sorted out the transport, one part of the family did the savoury dishes for the buffet, another lot did the cakes, one girl did hair and makeup etc. Because there was a huge element of surprise as to what people did (and lots made massive efforts) it was the most friendly and informal wedding I've ever been to.

Another touch was a wedding where the bride and groom had handwritten and drawn on everyones place setting - was a great talking point to get people talking to each other on the table. So my placecard had a picture of a softball mitt and glove, and I remember the guy next to me had his 3 cats on his! Afterwards I also found out they quite deliberately mixed up their 2 families and sets of friends on the tables, including making sure there was a natural extrovert/good conversationalist at each table.

I have considered the restaurant option as there is a very nice, but not expensive place opposite the registry office. Its not large and can be booked out at weekends for a cost. But it was the thought of not dancing that put me off actually.