Recriprocal inviations help please!

[LizaTarbucksAuntie]

We've been invited to a wedding a month before ours.

The people who have invited us weren't on my list.

We've accepted their invitation and now I'm feeling a little like they will be expecting one from us.

Now I'm not sure if we should have accepted, though I'd love to go to their wedding.

wwyd?

Do you want to invite them now, or do you just feel like you have to? I don't think you should invite anyone out of a sense of social obligation. I'm assuming there's a reason they weren't on the list to start with, I know when we got married we just couldn't afford to invite everyone. As a compromise, maybe just invite them to the evening bit if that's possible?

We're inviting everyone to the whole day and they live a long way away so I'd be one of those.

The reaosn they weren't on the list was that we reached 120 guests (our maximum) and we hadn't 'thought' of them, I figure this says something, but I don't know, I get the impression we were invited to theirs to gain an invite back IYSWIM - when I'd said congratulations to her on getting engaged she was at pains to point out that we wouldn't be invited to their wedding (which I thought was odd, but you know not offensive, as we're not 'close') but then when DP and I got engaged we suddenly got an invite to thiers...

In that case, you can't invite them without dropping someone else off the list. She's already made it clear that you weren't getting an invite, so she has no right to expect to "trade" one with you now.

On the other had, they might have had a someone decline an invite, which freed up space for you. It might not have anything to do with your wedding.

If you think it will cause resentment, then speak to her about it, it doesn't sound like she has an problem discussing who isn't getting an invite! :)

Perhaps more importantly though, don't let it get to you, and don't take personally. Wedding guest lists are a nightmare.

*a problem, not an problem!

hmmm I am a bit glum about it, I was prettty much positive we wouldn't have problems as all the people we know are so lovely.

She wants to meet up next week anyway and I might be being oversensitive I have been known to worry too much about people's feelings!

But I did have to at the comment about not having a problem discussing discussing who's not invited!

Thanks Pollymama

Hope you have a lovely day, and congratulations! :)

I wouldn't have accepted theirs unless I was going to invite them.

Really Hullygully? Wow, I think I'd probably be more offended by that than by a simple lack of return invite. I'd probably start worrying that I'd somehow offended you!

Thanks again

Hully - funnily enough I was in 2 minds about accepting as it goes, but then I figured they'd chosen to invite us to theirs and it was only afterwards when a comment was made about wondering when our invites were going out that the penny dropped a bit that she might have expected a reciprocal invite.

I'm seeing her next week anyway and I'm sure it'll put my mind at rest.