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Original poster

AIBU to not want to go to a wedding on Easter Saturday?!?

15 replies

GoodyGumDrop · 05/02/2011 13:50

We have an evening invite to the wedding of two of dh's work colleagues on Easter Saturday. He really wants to go.

It's not local, so would mean sending the kids to stay at my Mums for the night. I really don't want to miss out on being with the dcs on Easter Sun and TBH I think an Easter Saturday wedding is appropriate.

We're not religious, but Easter has always been an important time for family get togethers in my family, similar to Christmas. Dh's family just give each other an egg and that's it.

It's caused alot of friction between me and dh and I've told dh that if he wants to go he's going alone. Although one part of me thinks we should be going together.

To top it all, the stag day/night is the day after dd1's b'day, her b'day is on Fri and the Stag is on Sat. I was expecting she'd have a small party for some of her class mates and possibly family for lunch on Sun.

I think that dh should politely appologise and not go to anything, or possibly the stag in the eve but not drink (for some reason he can't just have one or two, but that's another story).

I've never even met the people who are getting married, if they were good friends I wouldn't mind on missing out on Easter Sun with the dcs (but then again if they were good friends we'd go to the whole thing with the kids and make a weekend of it with everyone else and their kids)

AIBU?

OP posts:

ElsieR · 05/02/2011 18:26

If you are just invited to the evening and you have never met them, I can't blame you for not being keen to go.
Maybe you can meet DH in the middle and let him go to the stag do on the Saturday and celebrate the birthday on the Sunday?
Maybe you need to appreciate a bit more that he might REALLY want to be part of his colleagues' special day and ease up a bit.

Marlinspike · 05/02/2011 18:31

How far away is the wedding? Can you not leave early on the Sunday morning, and so still get home in time for Easter egg hunts etc?

Sarsaparilllla · 05/02/2011 18:37

Personally Easter for me isn't an important day so it wouldn't really cross my mind for it to be an issue, so I don't think it's inappropriate to have a wedding on Easter Saturday at all.

But if you don't know them and you're not keen on going because you have other plans then don't go.

ViolaTricolor · 05/02/2011 18:39

I can see that it's awkward for you, but have no idea how you can assert that an Easter Saturday wedding is not 'appropriate' (I assume that's what you meant to write). All the problems you describe are to do with you and your particular tastes and circumstances.

cornsilk · 05/02/2011 18:41

You aren't religious so how can you find it inappropriate?

kerala · 05/02/2011 18:53

You're a B list guest so wouldnt feel bad about politely declining. Can he not go on his own while you have Easter with your own family? If you've never met them it will hardly put a blight on their day. Also then you have earned lots of points to have a weekend off childcare another time

hocuspontas · 05/02/2011 18:53

But if it's an important time for family get-togethers then your dcs already being at your Mum's overnight would be an advantage. Have the 'celebrations' when you go and pick them up. Apart from an egg hunt which takes about half an hour it's just like a normal Sunday isn't it?

Portofino · 05/02/2011 19:14

If you never met them, and it is inconvenient then just decline. I see no great relevance that it is Easter or a birthday etc. The problem seems to be more that your DH wants to go and you don't. So let him go by himself.

rubyrubyruby · 06/02/2011 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/02/2011 09:40

being a holiday period, Easter probably works really well for a lot of their guests particularly if they have to travel. YABU to describe it as "inappropriate" on that score tbh.

Let your DH go on his own if you're not keen - save them a few quid, let you DH have a nice time and enjoy Easter Sunday without a hangover.

Ooopsadaisy · 15/02/2011 09:48

You describe the wedding as being that of dh's work colleagues.

I note that you don't use the term friends or mates.

Sounds then like you are not one of the inner circle of buddies so I shouldn't think either of you would be missed.

I would say he should go if he wants to. You shouldn't if you feel it is valuable time with dcs.

Actually - couldn't dcs just go with you? Are they very young?

BilboBloggins · 15/02/2011 10:04

The wedding is on Holy Saturday - Easter Saturday is actually the Saturday after Easter, but that's not the point.

If you really don't want to go, just decline the invitation. It sounds like you don't even know the people very well.

BiscuitNibbler · 15/02/2011 10:06

If someone knows you do not live locally and still only sends you an evening invitation, they really aren't bothered whether you are there or not, so just don't go. Mind you, I say this as someone who never accepts an evening invitation.

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark · 15/02/2011 10:17

YABU,just decline the invitation if you don't want to go. It's got nothing to do with easter

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 15/02/2011 13:24

YANBU - I wouldn't be going but that would be for religious reasons. If Easter is important to your family, you don't know them and it involves a lot of travel then those are 3 pretty good reasons.

The stag do I wouldn't have a problem with, if you haven't already organised something for your DD's birthday on the Saturday or Sunday. There's no reason he shouldn't either go for the day if you're celebrating the Sunday, or just the evening if you have plans for the Saturday.

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